Jamesblame Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I've been out of a serious relationship for a year. In that time I have had multiple, totally honest, no commitment relationships. One girl I just started seeing has had several really bad days (money problems, job problems, etc), of which I've excluded myself from dealing with as I'm not interested in being her boyfriend, and I already told her so. Anyhow, when she needed to have a bed moved, she rented a truck and asked her male friend to help. She sent me several texts over the next two hours complaining about what an annoying, boring person her male friend was, and how excited she was to see me afterwards. I found it to be really shady and gross. Whatever your opinion on keeping it light and not doing dating things, at least I was honest with the girl. It really bothered me to my core to see her use the "friend" like that. Even though we had nothing serious going on, I stopped seeing her after that. Why would she be excited to see me -- the guy who blatantly ignored her problems and need for help-- while pissing on this friend? Why do people do that? 1
Keenly Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 She was trying to make you feel special in an underhanded way. Sounds like she was getting.way more into you than you to her so bailing on her was probably for the best.
KungFuJoe Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I've been out of a serious relationship for a year. In that time I have had multiple, totally honest, no commitment relationships. One girl I just started seeing has had several really bad days (money problems, job problems, etc), of which I've excluded myself from dealing with as I'm not interested in being her boyfriend, and I already told her so. Anyhow, when she needed to have a bed moved, she rented a truck and asked her male friend to help. She sent me several texts over the next two hours complaining about what an annoying, boring person her male friend was, and how excited she was to see me afterwards. I found it to be really shady and gross. Whatever your opinion on keeping it light and not doing dating things, at least I was honest with the girl. It really bothered me to my core to see her use the "friend" like that. Even though we had nothing serious going on, I stopped seeing her after that. Why would she be excited to see me -- the guy who blatantly ignored her problems and need for help-- while pissing on this friend? Why do people do that? So let me get this straight. ONE person does this to you. ONE. There are 7 billion people on the planet, lets assume half are women (even though it's more than half). So ONE woman out of 3.5 billion and you have to ask why SOME women do this? No...you should be asking why ONE woman does this. 1
Keenly Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 So let me get this straight. ONE person does this to you. ONE. There are 7 billion people on the planet, lets assume half are women (even though it's more than half). So ONE woman out of 3.5 billion and you have to ask why SOME women do this? No...you should be asking why ONE woman does this. Its far more common than married man can understand.
Author Jamesblame Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 Yes, one woman in one incident did this. This is why I asked why SOME people (men and women ) do that. No point in trying to make this into a gender thread. Perhaps I should date a few men before fairly asking a simple question about shady behavior--would that be more fair? Since we cleared that up, lol, why do you think that One in 6.8 billion person did that?
Author Jamesblame Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 She was trying to make you feel special in an underhanded way. Sounds like she was getting.way more into you than you to her so bailing on her was probably for the best. I wonder. Ironically, she just reinforced my big concern about getting serious with someone, the idea that a relationship becomes a situation where one person only tolerates the other while they get something out of it.
RebelWithoutACause Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 What did she do again? I'm confused.
Author Jamesblame Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 She was getting help from her friend with something that I , the person sleeping with her, refused to do. Then WHILE he helped her, she was on the phone with me, complaining about what loser/bum her friend was. 1
RebelWithoutACause Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 She was getting help from her friend with something that I , the person sleeping with her, refused to do. Then WHILE he helped her, she was on the phone with me, complaining about what loser/bum her friend was. She's probably not a very nice person. Why is that reinforcing your resolve to not get serious with anybody? It would be like me saying there was this guy on the bus the other day, who had his dwong out and was paying with it in front of everybody (this really did happen to me), therefore I will never get in a relationship with a man. There are lots of normal people out there. That's why many of us here are married, we've been lucky enough to meet someone who's not crap.
amolya Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Maybe she's just a bitch. Maybe no one else would help her so she had to resort to this one guy who she doesn't really like, and the poor guy was nice enough to do it. Why does anyone do anything?
Author Jamesblame Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 She's probably not a very nice person. Why is that reinforcing your resolve to not get serious with anybody? It would be like me saying there was this guy on the bus the other day, who had his dwong out and was paying with it in front of everybody (this really did happen to me), therefore I will never get in a relationship with a man. There are lots of normal people out there. That's why many of us here are married, we've been lucky enough to meet someone who's not crap. It's only be a year since a broken engagement for me, so right now it's only casual while dealing with any baggage I have. I don't think all women are like this girl, but the behavior was similar to my ex fiancee's...hence the reinforcement.
Author Jamesblame Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 Maybe she's just a bitch. Maybe no one else would help her so she had to resort to this one guy who she doesn't really like, and the poor guy was nice enough to do it. Why does anyone do anything? I don't know. It struck me as extra ordinarily cruel. 1
carhill Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 OP, my best advice is to accept the words of a woman whom has yet to demonstrate her care and loyalty for you as tools and nothing more. Think of them as the wrenches you select from your toolbox to turn a nut or drive a screw. Leave the 'why' for philosophers and psychologists.
RebelWithoutACause Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I think she's a moron for wasting her time sleeping with some assclown who's too lazy to help her move a bed. Only a complete fool lowers herself to that level. She's a classless idiot. That's a good point. Why even waste time sleeping with a guy, if he won't even help you move furniture.
Author Jamesblame Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 I think she's a moron for wasting her time sleeping with some assclown who's too lazy to help her move a bed. Only a complete fool lowers herself to that level. She's a classless idiot. Does that mean you won't go out with me?
crude Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 This doesn't seem shocking. How many women bad mouth and belittle their husbands to their friends and family, but continue to use the man as a "provider and protector"? You squeeze what you can get out of someone. That applies to males too, although women seem especially good at using men for their ends. 1
KungFuJoe Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Its far more common than married man can understand. LOL. What does being married or not have to do with common freakin sense and understanding people's motives?
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