Was it real or all an act by her?

[radinna82]

So I was introduced by a coworker to another coworker a few months back. I know its generally a no-no to date in the workplace but we had crushes on each other for a long time so we went for it. Things progressed very well. We saw how compatible we are for each other. We have the same dreams and ambitions, and share a lot of the same quirks. We both had got out of long relationships about 6 months before. My ex was out of the picture and she claimed the same about him. she told me horror stories about his physical and mental abuse, cheating, and keeping her from family and friends, etc. she said she was happy to have him gone and start a new chapter in her life. As things progressed with us, we talked about our future and about me flying back east to meet her family. We talked of future plans and integrating each other into our kids lives. Everything was perfect. Then things seemed to change literally overnight.

 

She told me one day that he threatened to leave the country if she didnt get back with him. I told her, "good, did you say goodbye?". And her reply was "no". I asked why and she said that she couldnt bear the thought of never seeing him again. We talked about it a few days later and she said she had to make a tough decision. She said how perfect things were with us and that she didnt want to give me up but that she had history with him even though it was a bad history. We had planned a trip to Vegas at the end of this month and she told me she wouldnt make a decision before then because she didnt want to take it lightly and she knew how important the trip was to me. so we left it at that.

 

So the next morning, I get home after a long night of work and find a Facebook message from her saying that she cant help her feelings for him and even though he is no good for her, that she needs him and that we are through. I called her out for going back on her word and especially for breaking up with me on Facebook. I told her she shouldve done it in person and that I needed to see her and talk about it. She in turn said it was her choice to break up with me that way and that she didnt owe me a meeting. I couldnt believe it! Its like she became a different person overnight. Over the next few days, we kept exchanging messages on Facebook but that is a bad forum for that as things can easily get misconstrued, so the fight just got worse. She finally agreed to meet me only to take it back again by Facebook message just before we were supposed to meet.

 

Another few days went by and she told me she missed me and wanted to see me. I agreed and we did. But it was mostly a fight. She said she never owed me a meeting before and it was her choice to end things that way. i told her that it was wrong and it shouldve been in person. We fought about the things she misunderstood. she told me she wasnt going to get back with him because she wised up so she would either get with me or be single.

 

On Valentines Day, I had flowers delivered to the store we work at. I had been awaiting her answer for a few days by then. Once again, I get a Facebook message thanking me for the flowers but that she had to be with him and basically to go to hell. We exchanged a few more heated messages before it was over.

 

So I have three questions? Am I wrong for thinking she shoulve talked to me instead of breaking things off on Facebook? Dies it seem like our whole relationship was an act for her? Kind of seems like she had no respect or care for em at all to do that. And lastly, what should I do. I know by the fact she has been back and forth that she doesnt know what she wants and will change her mind easily. Im thinking of waiting 2 weeks and sending a letter to her saying I want to talk. Is that a good idea?

Edited February 17, 2013 by radinna82

[Keenly]

Breaking up with you over Facebook is not "wrong " per se....

 

But it does show a complete lack of respect for you as a person. Move on man.... this chick is emotionally damaged goods. You deserve some one who would beg to be with you... not leave you for an ex.

[radinna82]

Yes I agree completely, but its just so hard seeing as we were so perfect without him in the picture. I know she is wrong for me but so many what ifs.

[stillafool]

 

 

So I have three questions?

 

 

 

Am I wrong for thinking she shoulve talked to me instead of breaking things

off on Facebook?

No you are not wrong. That was the work of a coward.

 

 

Dies it seem like our whole relationship was an act for her?

She basically used you as a rebound to get over her ex.

 

Kind of seems like she had no respect or care for em at all to do that. And

lastly, what should I do.

 

I think you should leave her alone. She is still in love with her ex. Do not look to her for closure you will have to make your own. If she does decide to come back to you she will end up going back to him. Let her go.

[radinna82]

Yeah I imagine you are right. Thank you