my ex accused me of cheating on her and said she doesn't trust me.

[fetish1980]

This relationship sounds completely toxic. It sounds like she's the type who will play cruel games to get back at you for things she comes up with in her head. The type who's a high maintenance woman who will never be happy with anything you say or do for her.

 

My advice to you, run fast from this girl. I know its hard seeing you still love her. But please understand how important that you break free of this woman's spell. Take it from someone who spent 8 years with a manipulative woman because he didn't know how to stop enabling her and feeding her selfish behavior. Thank god i dodged that bullet and didn't end up marrying her as I had planned because at the end, I found out that she didn't have my back, didn't care about what I wanted, and would even stoop to making up lies for her to get her way. The relationship was all for her.

 

You have to think long and hard. Don't waste many years of your life going in circles for this girl like I did with my situation, because mark my words, that's exactly what you will be doing. You have to take a strong stance and don't let yourself feel guilty because you did what you had to do to protect yourself.

[Mack05]

I took me ALONG time to learn these lessons. It doesn't matter why they do the things they do. What matters is knowing and understanding they are not good for you (and vice versa) and knowing its important to heal, learn and move on.

 

You are making all the mistakes I made. You will suffer like I did too. U just don't get it...

[dreamingoftigers]

thank you for your honesty, this is a story i was looking for really that i needed spelling out. the only differences are that.. she wanted me so bad she did all of the chasing in the start.. she told me she loved me first, she asked me if we were ' together' i didn't do any of the chasing really at all. she completely adored and loved me, we were together for 18 months. it was amazing like it never really felt like there was any problems at all! so i don't really feel like i was pushy. i probably sound clingy on here but i mainly vent on here so i can keep my cool in person haha.

 

would this make any difference to your story ? i think what i'm asking is... can girls just lose attraction? stop seeing somebody in a boyfriend way and more a friend way ? is there any of that ? like just one day they change and no longer have feelings?

we really got on well apart from in the last few months when i started complaining about the flirting !

 

it seems weird but she is suffering from stress anxiety and depression a lot lately.

 

i'm just really sad as you can all tell.

 

I was the chaser in about half of my relationships. I would often go after guys that would be somewhat blindsided by the attention.

 

I expected them to put me up on a pedestal because of the effort I put in etc.

 

What usually happened was the to a young man, his head would swell somewhat they'd gain a little more confidence than I was comfortable with and I would feel like I wasn't at the head of the relationship anymore. Plus they weren't a "challenge."

 

I'd lose attraction, or it would become a bit of a conflict if he tried to assert himself. Man, I had a lot of issues in my youth. Hmm...

 

If she felt you "should be grateful" for the extra effort and attention, she probably thought she could get away with murder. Dumping her knocked her off of that pedestal. She's backburnering you now. No doubt about it. Definitely an ego thing. Lots of pride there, histrionics, issues.

 

Don't go engaging with someone that is very weak-hearted toward you at best. She knows your number. If she didn't want to play games she would've stopped a long time ago. Young women these days often have a tough time asserting themselves. And being fair to young men. Conversely a lot of young men treat young women like disposable commodities. Sigh, youth....

[calgary]

I think it's weird.. I accused her of flirting with people who she probably didn't even find attractive.. she would never cheat she was just touchy and friendly... and now she's accused me of the same.. i'm feeling anger, upset, I was shocked. i'm willing to not text her even though she asked me to... because i'm feeling the way that I made her feel? does that make sense? it's like ' I get it' ... she tried to make me understand how she felt with that accusation . i'm just venting here .

Edited February 18, 2013 by calgary