mirage12 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Hey all, I wanted to see if I could get some advice about something that's been happening recently. I've kind of started seeing a girl about two weeks ago. I've known this girl since last September or so, through school. She and I both do an extracurricular school activity that is very intense, so because of that activity we see each other at least thirty or so hours a week at school. I've always had the sense that she had a thing for me since we met, but nothing ever happened until recently. In the past two weeks, things have gone very, very quickly (at least in terms of hanging out). She's been spending the night maybe three or four times a week, although we haven't had sex yet because she's worried we see each other so often and wants to take that slowly. This past week we literally hung out for the past 72 hours, from wed night through fri night and I took her out for valentines day. Things are going great (I think), and I like her a lot and I think she really likes me too. I'm concerned though, because things are going quickly and we're doing very date-y things very fast. I know this girl had a fiancé last year at some point and she broke things off, but I'm scared that because things are moving so quickly that something is up - although I'm not sure what. Maybe it's a rebound or maybe it's something else. I've thought about slowing down how frequently we hang out but I don't know what that would do, if anything. Anyone have any thoughts on what I should do? It's been about two years since I've had a girlfriend and I'm scared of getting my heart ripped out again if I fall too hard for this one.
MsSmurf Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Well first things first..... do you want a relationship with her or do you just want to be friends with benefits? If you want a relationship then you need to talk to her and find out if she's wants the same thing. I'd also say yes the constant sleepovers (especially if one or both of you isn't ready for sex) are too much too soon. You also need to find out if she is completely single and emotionally available. If there is still drama with the ex then you need to step on the brakes immediately. No more sleepovers, no more dates, no more special nights like Valentine's day, etc until she is completely available and wants the same thing you do. If you just want to be friends with benefits then it doesn't really matter how fast you're moving because there isn't really a goal. The point is just to hang out and get laid until one or both of you is tired of the other. In this case it also wouldn't matter if she had issues with her ex because your goal wouldn't be to get serious with her.
Author mirage12 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 I think that I do want to date her but I haven't been sure if it was too soon to be having that kind of talk...even though we've been acting like we're dating. It's especially bad because we have to see each other so often, so if that conversation doesn't go well it's going to be bad...
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