Sam_2008 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I really have weird situation here. I got into relationship with my senior who was already married. I know it was my entire fault but thought it was just casual hookup in beginning but later turned into deep deep relationship. I was never the one who wanted all this initially but been handled so emotionally and found in so much love with. since I was not married at that time and was finding things were ok. Anyways that got happened since both wanted to. I cannot blame whose fault was. But now my problem is I love my job and got promotion and all because of my relationship and also my hardwork. but now every day is going like nightmare. I have to face everyday he is my boss cannot avoid and I am doing my work but the problem is he is keep on creating the situation which makes me so angry everyday even I do my work . My relationship needs me at work place and I do not want to change job also but going everyday it is haunting me so much. We do not have any personal relationship anymore at workplace but haunting me so much everyday. I know it all was wrong at the first place but happened so badly which i couldn't control. What should I do now? Should I change the job or get the transfer to different business operation. The problem is with me now if I do not talk to him he will make situation so worst and if I talk to him he will show like I am disturbing him L
Apolodor Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I don't want to sound callous, but you deserve the troubles you are in. You had a sexual relationship with your boss, got your promotion and now you suddenly want to live in a perfect world.... Have you thought of this poor man's wife?? What you did is beneath contempt.
Author Sam_2008 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 Thanks. I know I deserve this pain and I got my answer too. But honestly speaking I was not the one who wanted all this in beginning, even prevented so many times in beginning.
coffeebean201 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 It is a common dynamic in these workplace romances. if you have sex with me, your work life and personal life will go so much better. if you pull away from me sexually/emotionally, I will make you regret it. Essentially that is the manipulative dynamic. I don't know if that characterizes your situation. But for someone who is selfish and enjoys the sex and enjoys you loving him, they never can resist the urge to make your life hell when you decide you don't want to be involved with them anymore. That is assuming you had a choice about getting involved with them in the first place. It is a very difficult dynamic to deal with. Often they are well intended people, but the result of their actions can be very very destructive.
Apolodor Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I don't aggree with you Coffeebean2o1. Most workplaces have very strict rules when it comes to sexual relationships betweeen coworkers, especially those involving the boss and an employee. The OP could have reported her boss for sexual harassment, but she chose the easy way. The truth is that most women would feel harassed if an ugly non-influential colleague approached them with a proposal for relationship. When such requests come from a boss of sorts, things are quite different. Unfortunately, most women are very hypocrytical when it comes to such matters.....
coffeebean201 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Well any discussion about sexual harassment is useful, even if you disagree.
Author Sam_2008 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 Hold on guys. I think you both misinterpreted mu situation. When I said I protected initially not to happen yes I could have done strongly and couldn't lead my situation in that way. But I again it was none of fault we found so much comfortable with each other and bounded with strong relationship. It was just situation couldn't turned into our favor to be together, but doesn't mean we were into wrong relationship. We were i n true love all is that now we both realized we have no future and cannot destroy the thing what we both have got seprated but doesn't mean it was totally wrong. It neither forced by him nor easly accepted by me. All was we found love for each other lately not turned into some favourab;le situation. reason for me to post my issue here is should I change the job or be here since I am into the right job but things haunting me for the good and precious time we spent together which effecting me lot for my current and future situation. I think for me the best part is to move on and do not blame or trouble him anymore. Yes it is painful for me but I have to to do this for my and his better family life and healthy work relationship. Apolodor>> I would not say your reply was harsh rather I would say you should understand this things happen doesn't matter at work place or anywhere. When you start liking someone you just go out with boundaries. and when I said we were into deep deep relationship that mean we both trusted so much on each other and it was not just SEX else we would have left each other after 2-3 meeting not to carry over the relationship over the years.
Recommended Posts