tinyvipers Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I've been seeing my SO for almost half a year and have known from quite early on that he has insecurities about his hair loss. He has never breached that topic with me but he searches for hair loss treatments online almost on a daily basis. It's not that we're not in a serious committed relationship - I've already met his parents and all. But I'm not certain why he doesn't feel comfortable enough to talk about this particular insecurity with me? Is it merely a matter of pride or is there something more to it?
Woggle Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Because a lot of men are really afraid of opening up to a woman because we feel she will lose attraction for us. In some cases it has happened to them so some men develop a thick wall. It's very hard to take down once it is there. Taking it down has the single most frightening thing I ever did in my life. I am glad I did but boy was it scary.
Els Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Probably because he doesn't see the point. Apparently talking about one's problems is more likely to help women than men. Some men genuinely don't get any benefit from talking about their problems, they just want to find the quickest way to solve them. Seems like your bf is doing just that. 4
SmileFace Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Why is this something that needs to be discussed? Can you fix his hair? 2
rocketman122 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I've been seeing my SO for almost half a year and have known from quite early on that he has insecurities about his hair loss. He has never breached that topic with me but he searches for hair loss treatments online almost on a daily basis. It's not that we're not in a serious committed relationship - I've already met his parents and all. But I'm not certain why he doesn't feel comfortable enough to talk about this particular insecurity with me? Is it merely a matter of pride or is there something more to it? another reason people dont tell their weaknesses is they dont want the other one to feel above them. to feel superior to them. I had this issue with my GF in the beginning all the time. I told her everything and she held back, even though I read her like a book and she said to me "why, so you can feel stronger and criticize me and use that against me?" and I tell her its the exact opposite. I will make you stronger. I will never use that as a weapon. I only want to make things better. "when you open up to me, it shows me you can feel fragile and you show me how you love me to tell me your deepest secrets". when she told me some things, I cried, grabbed her close and kissed her and told her now that im here, things will be better from now. I feel her problems are my problems.
veggirl Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I don't discuss any physical insecurities I have with my boyfriend.
Lonely Ronin Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 As a man, I can tell you that for some of us, opening up and discussing insecurities is really hard to do. I'm in my early 30's and was raised in an environment where Men weren't supposed to have insecurities or weaknesses. I'm much better at talking about them now than i was 10 years ago, but I'm still no where close to how at ease most women seem to be at talking about them.
mn311601 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 maybe he doesn't want his insecurities broadcasted all over the internet. 1
Fondue Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Probably because he doesn't see the point. Apparently talking about one's problems is more likely to help women than men. Some men genuinely don't get any benefit from talking about their problems, they just want to find the quickest way to solve them. Seems like your bf is doing just that. Perfect reasoning right here . OP, why do you feel you need to know his insecurities or discuss it with him?
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