ananomalie Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I met my significant other 4 months after his 3 year relationship (2 years engaged) ended. We dated for almost a year and had an amazing time and shared many wonderful adventures together. We both have difficult pasts but we worked through a few rough patches and I had hopes for working on some others like in any relationship. he invited me over on wednesday and mistakenly i thought it had to do with valentines day but he wanted to break up. I had no idea until the words actually came out of his mouth. We had had a talk a month ago and I had asked if he wanted to break up but he had said no. I thought everything had been resolved until he sat me down and said "remember that talk we had a month ago...". He says he loves me and doesn't want to lose me but he says he didn't take enough time for himself after he broke up with his last girlfriend. He feels like he never had the time to find himself. He's 30, 5 years behind in his career, and is so stressed out all the time about his life. He feels like he can't catch a break and he feels guilty because he can't be there for me. He get so stressed out that sometimes he can't help but think that if he wasn't in a relationship he wouldn't be so weighed down. Logically he knows it's not my fault so he feels guilty. He feels guilty because he feels like he can't invest as much as I invest in our relationship. He feels guilty because he sometimes he resents being in a relationship even though he knows it's not my fault. He feels guilty because he wants to be selfish and just focus on himself. He sobbed and said that even though he'll regret letting me go he'll regret not taking the time now to find and work on himself even more. He wrote me a card full of the memories he'll cherish and the little things about me he'll miss. I haven't read it. how could i read it? So I gave him an alternative. Here are my thoughts on this topic. I can't change his mind and I know he needs to have time to find himself. I cannot deny him that when i needed the same thing after my bad previous relationship. I think as a human being he does need to take time to do that. On the flip side, I love him. I think he's something special and I don't want to lose him. So I gave him an alternative..... We're taking a 6 month break. Not long enough to fix his problems but long enough for him to take inventory and figure himself out. We'll meet august 13 and talk it out but until then absolutely no contact. I'm going to take the time to improve myself and find a job. These are my rules. I don't want to lose him but I can't handle contact and false hope. I'm viewing this as a break up. Even though he said he loves me and that he wants me to keep his things until I see him in August.... Even though he was so eager to accept a break as an alternative and so remorse to lose me.... All I can think about is how relieved he must be that he's no longer in a relationship with me. Am i doing the right thing? or am I crazy? A part of me is scared ****less and telling me to run but another part, a part of my breaking heart is telling me not to give up because he loves you.
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