Loveshax Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Hey there, I was in a lesbian relationship for over a year. We broke up and started NC two weeks ago. She is friends with all of her ex girlfriends so I have a good feeling that one day in the future we can be on good terms. Although our relationship was far more intense than anything she ever had with her other girlfriends (her words not mine) For people who broke up and went NC, how long did you do it for? Are you friends now? Or did you get back together? Share your story!
blotter Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 No never became friends after NC. The thought of seeing them in love with someone else would gut me. I don't even want to hear news about what they are up to, it just makes the hearbreak come back. They pretty much don't exist to me anymore after the break-up.
KatZee Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 (edited) Out of all my boyfriends in my life, the only one I have contact with to this day is my first love. I'm actually really grateful that we still have somewhat of a relationship because he was a big part of my life. We dated when I was 17... so 11 years ago. I was young, naive, made all the mistakes that someone could make. He ended it, I begged, pleaded, became his FWB for the rest of the year, chased after him, was emotional, got angry, cried... it was bad lol. The next year we kind of just stopped talking. It wasn't so much of a "I'm going NC!!" moment, we just kind of started dating other people and lost touch. We didn't talk for a full year and then one day out of the blue he messaged me on AOL. We've been in contact ever since. Although not as often as of the past few years because I was deeply involved with my ex. We spoke last probably 2 weeks ago. It IS possible to be friends with an ex, however it took me many years to really see him as a platonic friend. For a long time I couldn't even look at his pictures on MySpace/Facebook. I would get so insanely jealous of the girls. Now I look at his stuff all the time and there's nothing there at all, it's so weird how that happens! I think it also depends on how the relationship ended. Me and my first love are friendly because we didn't really end on bad terms. We both really loved each other back then. We were just too young and immature. My most recent ex? I will never be his friend. No matter how many years pass, I will never be able to look at him the same way as I did. Edited February 17, 2013 by KatZee
newsbug Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I've got several guys on facebook that are exes. I'm not sure if that really makes them friends though. We weren't friends on facebook at the time...it was before facebook was made...and I'm not friends with them in real life. I think there is only one that I could and wouldn't mind seeing in person again and it wouldn't be weird. But I haven't seen him since 1994 either...so who knows.
Addison312 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I'm friendly acquaintances with the first guy (there have been 2) that ever gutted me. It was horrible. He didn't cheat and I know he felt guilt. I wrote him a scathing letter... And gave it to him! Yet, about 2-3 years later, I was able to see him out with mutual friends and have a real friendly conversation with him WITHOUT feeling anything remotely romantic. I was actually thinking, "what a geek..." We are FB friends now and I still run into him a couple times a year. It doesn't effect me. That gives me hope that the day will come when my most current ex won't effect me, although I'm pretty sure we will never see each other again.
tf510 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I'm still friends with my first love - a 9 year relationship that I ended way back in 1994. It's a long distance friendship though - texts, emails and such. The split was fairly painful, but she was a great person. One in a million and I think fond thoughts about her almost every day. In 1996 I started dating another girl and we married in 1998. Then in 2006 she had an affair. It was awful, very painful, very protracted. She left me for the other guy and we had NC for 2 years. Then out-of-the-blue in 2008 she contacts me to tell me she wants to come back to me. But I've moved on. A slightly awkward friendship then evolves, but over time it gets better and now we get on very well. When my wife asked for a second chance I said 'no' because I had started my third major relationship in 2007. But this ended badly at the end of 2012 - no need for any detail but she behaved awfully towards me (although no worse than my ex-wife's affair I guess). She returned to her home country a few weeks ago and has breadcumbed me 3 times, but I've ignored it. I think the ability to stay friends depends on the personalities of the people involved, even more so than the circumstances of the break up, and it needs time to play out - 2 of my ex's hurt me very badly: I'm friends with one (my ex-wife) but still angry towards my last lover. There is no way I could entertain thoughts of friendship with her at the moment - because as well as feeling anger I also still miss her and want her back.
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