Febreze Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I met this guy earlier today in a coffee shop and we talked for a little while. I told him he was nice enough and my girl friend at work would love him so he says what about me and I tell him that he's not really my type. Well that didn't sit well with him because he says women here in NYC don't give men a chance if they're not introduced to them. I said yea, so what? I also told him I need chemistry to even consider giving a man a shot and he shoots that down and I'm like WTF it's the golden rule buddy boy!! He says chemistry needs to grow over time and how I'm being a typical arrogant new yorker by disagreeing with that yada yada It's the golden rule for us girls to not go further with a guy if we don't get a spark from them within the first moment. I really wish guys would just stop fighting that for a change and accept it. Its not rocket science 1
SJC2008 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 (edited) What is chemistry anyway? Some men say when a woman says there's no chemistry it just means you don't get her panties wet. I'm not a big chemistry guy personally. SO many people beleive in it yet look at all the gigs, cheating and the divorce rate. BTW it's just my view on chemistry. If the guy's not your type he's not your type. Edited February 17, 2013 by SJC2008 add
Author Febreze Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 What in the world does chemistry have to do with cheating and divorce? HELLO! It has nothing to do with it at all! We cant explain chemistry okay its just something that we feel around a guy and it happens in seconds
SJC2008 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 What in the world does chemistry have to do with cheating and divorce? I knew this was coming! Mabye people view chemistry different than I do but if you have chemistry with someone why would you cheat on them and risk losing someone you have this "holy grail" with What I'm getting at is is that it's overphukin rated. People want to be shot out of a cannon and hit the ground runing on the first date.
SJC2008 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 HELLO! It has nothing to do with it at all! We cant explain chemistry okay its just something that we feel around a guy and it happens in seconds I've had that happen to me twice in my life, I'm not going to hold my breath. BTW that feeling that happens in seconds isn't chemistry, it's an intense attraction caused by pheromones. 1
kaylan Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Chemistry = sexual attraction + personality click. If a girl doesnt feel attracted to you when she first meets you, she cites lack of chemistry. So yes, he didnt get OP wet. 2
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Chemistry = sexual attraction + personality click. If a girl doesnt feel attracted to you when she first meets you, she cites lack of chemistry. So yes, he didnt get OP wet. I disagree. Chemistry is merely the undefined and in-explainable connection two people feel towards each other. It can be sexual, emotional, spiritual... it has many different forms. For rare people it can be an overall connection on all levels. I hate that people think chemistry is sexual... when it in reality is so much more than that. When I met my boyfriend it wasn't sexual at all... just pure chemistry... we were drawn to one another on a completely different level than sexual. As a matter of fact, he was not one who I would normally date, and sexually we are not as connected compared to our intellectual and emotional and overall chemistry we have.
SpiralOut Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 (edited) Who cares what chemistry is. This guy just didn't know how to take no for an answer. If he really thinks she is such a NYC snob then maybe he should go for someone else instead of trying to change her mind about dating him. IMO when someone isn't into you, they just aren't into you. He should have taken her up on the offer to be set up with someone else. Anyway not everyone has the same definition of chemistry. It was rude of him to try and explain it to the OP as if she doesn't understand what it is. Some people like to let it grow. Others like to have it right away. No way is better or worse than the other. Edited February 17, 2013 by SpiralOut
SJC2008 Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I think Kaylans definition is pretty close if not spot on of what chemistry is. The while instant "aura" the OP is citing is what I referred to earlier in that it's a pheromone atteaction.
kaylan Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I disagree. Chemistry is merely the undefined and in-explainable connection two people feel towards each other. It can be sexual, emotional, spiritual... it has many different forms. For rare people it can be an overall connection on all levels. I hate that people think chemistry is sexual... when it in reality is so much more than that. When I met my boyfriend it wasn't sexual at all... just pure chemistry... we were drawn to one another on a completely different level than sexual. As a matter of fact, he was not one who I would normally date, and sexually we are not as connected compared to our intellectual and emotional and overall chemistry we have. Chemistry in a romantic sense is not unexplainable...because in a romantic sense, in order to really have potential with someone you need to have sexual attraction and a personality click. Therefore thats what chemistry in the romantic arena. CHEMISTRY IS PARTLY SEXUAL when you are selecting a MATE. Thats a part of dating. Stop trying to change reality. If you are your bf had ZERO sexual chemistry you wouldnt be with him. So get real. Just because you initial chemistry was personality based, (which was part of my original chemistry equation), does not mean that your chemistry now isnt sexual. Get real.
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Chemistry in a romantic sense is not unexplainable...because in a romantic sense, in order to really have potential with someone you need to have sexual attraction and a personality click. Therefore thats what chemistry in the romantic arena. CHEMISTRY IS PARTLY SEXUAL when you are selecting a MATE. Thats a part of dating. Stop trying to change reality. If you are your bf had ZERO sexual chemistry you wouldnt be with him. So get real. Just because you initial chemistry was personality based, (which was part of my original chemistry equation), does not mean that your chemistry now isnt sexual. Get real. Sexual attraction is different from sexual chemistry... Have you ever HAD chemistry with someone?!?! People who have actually experienced chemistry [at least everyone I know who has] are pretty much on the same page as me. It is far beyond attraction, it is a natural comfort with another person.
kaylan Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 (edited) Sexual attraction is different from sexual chemistry... Have you ever HAD chemistry with someone?!?! People who have actually experienced chemistry [at least everyone I know who has] are pretty much on the same page as me. It is far beyond attraction, it is a natural comfort with another person. There is no chemistry without that attraction though. Thats my point. I had chemistry with my ex, but without ex having a sexual attraction to each other, we wouldnt have been able to have the romantic chemistry we did. Thats my point. I have chemistry with my best friend, but its platonic. Totally different from what we are talking about here. And it goes with my point...chemistry in the dating world entails sexual attraction. Edited February 17, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 (edited) There is no chemistry without that attraction though. Thats my point. I had chemistry with my ex, but without ex having a sexual attraction to each other, we wouldnt have been able to have the romantic chemistry we did. Thats my point. I have chemistry with my best friend, but its platonic. Totally different from what we are talking about here. And it goes with my point...chemistry in the dating world entails sexual attraction. But you can be sexually attracted to someone and have NO chemistry.... I think it is a stupid argument. This whole attraction BS. Yes ANY relationship needs attraction. I am saying that she wants chemistry, and chemistry is FAR more than mere attraction. Edited February 17, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
William Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Let's stow the pissing contest and get back on topic. Thanks.
NYC-BigKat Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 (edited) But you can be sexually attracted to someone and have NO chemistry.... I think it is a stupid argument. This whole attraction BS. Yes ANY relationship needs attraction. Therefore your point doesn't mean ****. I am saying that she wants chemistry, and chemistry is FAR more than mere attraction. S Uh..how does a normal guy like me get chemistry going with a girl? I have no clue at all 'cause it seems that girls just wanna make stuff difficult like the op is doing . Edited February 17, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
KungFuJoe Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I'm a big believer in chemistry. And yes, there is a difference between sexual attraction and chemistry. Chemistry is probably the most important thing in a relationship. At least it's up there with the rest of the critical necessities along with trust and compatibility.
kaylan Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 (edited) But you can be sexually attracted to someone and have NO chemistry.... I think it is a stupid argument. This whole attraction BS. Yes ANY relationship needs attraction. Therefore your point doesn't mean ****. I am saying that she wants chemistry, and chemistry is FAR more than mere attraction. Chemistry has attraction within it. And are you trying to say sexual chemistry doesnt exist? That chemistry is spurned on by attraction. And Im not saying sexual chemistry is the only chemistry. Or that sexual attraction is the only attraction. Im saying all types of chemistry and attraction lend themselves to two people getting together. Anyone can see that. And tbh...like another poster said...Ive had girls think they had great chemistry that I didnt really feel myself. In the end they just enjoyed the conversation we had and were very attracted to me. For the most part when people talk about attraction (esp girls in my experience) sexual attraction has a lot to do with it. Edited February 17, 2013 by kaylan
e40 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 It's the golden rule for us girls to not go further with a guy if we don't get a spark from them within the first moment. I really wish guys would just stop fighting that for a change and accept it. Its not rocket science There's too many crazy rules. Thank goodness not every woman has this rule.
NYC-BigKat Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 There's too many crazy rules. Thank goodness not every woman has this rule. Um...lots of girls have this rule so yea its around alot. The op is a nurse & I think that's bad for her to act so stuck up. Nurses are supposed to be nicer than the regular girls u know.
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