Do some of you just find a rebound to make the break up easier?

[Sav]

Looking at this thread, I gotta chime in because of what I've experienced a few days back. Well, 3 days ago was my birthday and it's been months since I broke up with my ex. Honestly speaking, I've made considerable progress throughout these months. Sure, I do think about her but the romantic feelings that come with the thoughts of her are gone.

 

Having said that, thinking about her daily is kind of irritating. I've seemed to move on mostly but as I've said, I still think of her. I've accepted that it's impossible to forget someone you loved. However on my birthday I decided to take my friend's offer and went to a club with him.

 

That night was a blast. I made out with his friend and for the next few days, guess what. I didn't think of my ex that much. I guess all I needed was that last push. Nevertheless, my birthday was a blast and I didn't regret it one bit.

 

So my advice to others. Make sure you gave yourself ample time to move on. After which, if you still need that one last push, go for it. After all, you are single and free. Life is too short to be wasting it on people that have no idea how great you are. Go have fun. Indulge in sins. Live life the way it's supposed to be. Happy.

[Hopeful30]

To each their own. I know if I woke up under a stranger or someone I didn't really know or want to be with I'd feel like absolute shi*

 

This is exactly why there are so many problems with relationships these days...because everyone is so casual with who they bang.

 

I said it before and I'll say it again, what ever happened to building sexual INTIMACY between two people?

 

Feel bad...bang a stranger

Have a bad day...bang your neighbor

Go on a date....bang bang bang

Get bored w your GF or BF...Bang someone else....Just for the hell of it.

 

And when they break up with you, just go out and bang again and repeat the process above as you sit and wonder why you can't find a meaningful relationship with someone who will hang around longer then a meaningless bang.

 

But all of my relationships have been meaningful and full of love. I've never had a problem with someone cheating on me and i've never cheated myself. That's why I am contemplating rebounding, cuz it has never surpassed "rebounding" into something that can potentially ruin a relationship or get someone pregnant. At least, not for me.

 

Again, PERSONALLY, I think that all of this promiscuity has led to a break down in lasting relationships and fundamental morals.

 

I agree but it's also the reason many relationships don't last. That's why my relationship with my ex didn't last (there wasn't sexual chemistry at ALL). That's why I left him and that's why I want to just "bang" without any attachments, so that I can just get my sexual release.

 

In my situation, it's reversed.

 

when you meet soemone special follow yoru heart but take your time...casual sex isnt the answer not fro a permanent long lasting relationship.......doesnt heal you....confuse the crap out of you....yes.......best of luck.....deb

 

I don't want a permanent and lasting relationship. I just want to get laid! lol!

 

My best advice, dont do anything your not comfortable with and that goes against your values.

 

Thank you. This is the best advice. If I feel comfortable, then clearly it's not "wrong" to do it, otherwise a red flag would go up.

 

I'm with shadow, when I was a teenager and in my early twenties I would screw girls. It was just something to do. However now that I am older and know how making love feels I would prefer that.

 

I've never been in love and I've never had really great sex. To be honest, all the sex i've had was because that's what you're "supposed" to do when you're in a relationship. That's also another reason I want to rebound. I want to know what it feels like to have amazing hot sex with a stranger that you have great chemistry with.

 

And another thing, I don't want to rebound to heal emotionally, I want to rebound because I want to have sex. My last relationship wasn't good sexually because we didn't have chemistry (at least, no chemistry for me) and that's why I broke it off. I want to have great sex with someone i'm really hot for and that's my "rebound".

 

I don't want to feel guilty for wanting hot sex with a hot stranger. Because my ex would always tell me, like some of you, that this kind of sex is "meaningless" and its better when you "Care" for the person. But I've never been in love and never cared for anyone like that, so for me, hot sex with a hot stranger would be amazing. I'm holding back because I know (or imagine) that "in love" sex would be so much better, but I really don't think i'll fall in love any time soon, so is it so bad to just want to "bang bang bang" and be a horny fox with a "casual" hot guy?

 

I mean, just because there is better out there, doesn't mean you HAVE to wait for it right?

Edited February 18, 2013 by Hopeful30

[Hopeful714]

OMG..I can't believe I'm going to respond again in this thread. But, I am.

 

I've never been in love and I've never had really great sex. To be honest, all the sex i've had was because that's what you're "supposed" to do when you're in a relationship. That's also another reason I want to rebound. I want to know what it feels like to have amazing hot sex with a stranger that you have great chemistry with.

I don't want a permanent and lasting relationship. I just want to get laid! lol!

 

I understand what you want. Its a great fantasy that could come true and I want you to go out and have that. There is nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality, and satisfying your sexual urges.

 

However, after you have this "amazing hot sex" with this "stranger that you have great chemistry with" you have to come home and say to yourself its over.

 

No looking at the phone constantly to see if he called or texted. No whining or crying afterwards if he doesn't. No boo-hoo's if he comes around for a few curtain calls and you find out he is having amazing hot sex with several other girls as well, or decides to play games with you. And most important, would you please ask first if he has a GF? And if he says he does will you leave it alone and walk away?

 

Please be careful when you do this. Use protection. Make sure a friend knows where you are going. And do come back and tell us about how all this went and how you feel about it.

 

I truly hope...and I mean this sincerely, that it is a good, positive experience for both of you.

[Hopeful30]

Thank you Hopeful714, that is very kind of you. I hope I will enjoy it too!

[A n t h o n y]

Finding a rebound makes you literally a piece of **** .. I'm sorry but it does. I put everything into my last relationship and got thrown away like garbage and was a "rebound" guy and I can tell you it shattered my resolve.

[adelia]

No for me it never has worked except the opposite I keep thinking about the ex and comparing them and eventually dwell on what the person doesn't have that the ex did. I'm better off alone to get over my emotions and heal before introducing anyone knew in my life and besideswhich it wouldn't be fair to them

[Kengne]

I've done it both ways i.e. dated around casually (but no casual sex) as well as jumped quickly into another relationship (with exclusivity + sex) as well as did NOTHING (i.e. dated no one) after several different breakups and LEMME TELL YOU... I don't care what anyone says, rebounds serve a purpose. They helped me to move on, from my previous heartbreak. Did the rebound relationships or dating experiences last? Hell no - but they helped me heal my broken heart(s) by i. maintaining NC with the ex ii. keeping me distracted from thoughts of the ex and iii. reminding me that really, you do move on from "The Ex" - no one (without suicidal ideation of course) has ever died of a broken heart. It doesn't happen. Ultimately we all make it to the morning light some way some how.

 

K.

[calgary]

hate this thread, it just makes me think my ex is out there having sex the thought kills me. but it's probably true ugh aha.