MissLY Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 I was seeing this guy for 12 weeks. We ended up having a conversation about where we stand etc. He basically said that he gets very busy with work, but he still wants to take things to the next level with me and move forward in our relationship. I was happy to hear that. So over the next couple weeks we're in touch quite frequently and everything is going well…until one weekend. I told him that I'd love to see him and he says perfect…but he never ends up reaching out to me about hanging out. Finally he calls me on sunday and tells me he's been so exhausted because of work lately and feels like he doesn't have time to see his family/friends etc. So I told him "I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who I see once every 2 weeks, especially since we live in the same city." He tells me "okay well I don't want to keep disappointing you" etc. So I said "maybe it would be better if we just stay friends." He says "yes, but please don't cut me off or ignore my calls/texts, I still want you to be in my life." So I said fine. We hang up. I'm livid of course. Why would you say that you want to move things forward with me when in fact you don't? And here's the real kicker. He spent Valentine's Day with another girl. (He told me he was only seeing me and no one else) *******. I would've LOVED to cuss him out in person, but since we're "over" that didn't make any sense. So I just unfollowed him on twitter (which he noticed because he hit up my friend to see if I was alright). Anyway, I just HATE when a guy takes me for a fool. I swear, this is the kind of **** that makes you not want to date. I don't EVER plan on answering his calls/texts again. He can go to hell. Just had to vent.
RebelWithoutACause Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Yeah, the "busy with work" excuse is just that - an excuse. If they like you, they'll make time for you. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 "work" was partly seeing another girl. He lied.....shocker. You weren't going anywhere in the relationship anyway, he was just complying with words but continue the same actions, meaning seeing someone else. You gave him an easy way out, doing him the favor of not having to dump you. But don't worry, he'll be back for some booty calls. 1
ascendotum Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 yep - 'busy with work' can be genuine but it can also serve a cheater or player well as a cover or excuse to pull back from the relationship. How do you know he was with another girl on Vday?
ShannonMI Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 I was seeing this guy for 12 weeks. We ended up having a conversation about where we stand etc. He basically said that he gets very busy with work, but he still wants to take things to the next level with me and move forward in our relationship. I was happy to hear that. So over the next couple weeks we're in touch quite frequently and everything is going well…until one weekend. I told him that I'd love to see him and he says perfect…but he never ends up reaching out to me about hanging out. Finally he calls me on sunday and tells me he's been so exhausted because of work lately and feels like he doesn't have time to see his family/friends etc. So I told him "I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who I see once every 2 weeks, especially since we live in the same city." He tells me "okay well I don't want to keep disappointing you" etc. So I said "maybe it would be better if we just stay friends." He says "yes, but please don't cut me off or ignore my calls/texts, I still want you to be in my life." So I said fine. We hang up. I'm livid of course. Why would you say that you want to move things forward with me when in fact you don't? And here's the real kicker. He spent Valentine's Day with another girl. (He told me he was only seeing me and no one else) *******. I would've LOVED to cuss him out in person, but since we're "over" that didn't make any sense. So I just unfollowed him on twitter (which he noticed because he hit up my friend to see if I was alright). Anyway, I just HATE when a guy takes me for a fool. I swear, this is the kind of **** that makes you not want to date. I don't EVER plan on answering his calls/texts again. He can go to hell. Just had to vent. What a dick. Sounds like he was playing you and stringing you along. Gotta love it. Definitely don't talk to him again. He still wants you in his life hahahahahaha I've heard that one too. He doesn't have the luxury of that now. Just ignore him from here on out. Being ignored drives them crazy. Men are such f*cking @ssholes. Sorry I need to vent too apparently. 1
Author MissLY Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 (edited) yep - 'busy with work' can be genuine but it can also serve a cheater or player well as a cover or excuse to pull back from the relationship. How do you know he was with another girl on Vday? Someone told me that he was "hot and heavy" for someone else...he also tweeted on Valentine's Day that he loves it when a girl cooks for him. I was so livid you have no idea. How DARE he. Edited February 16, 2013 by MissLili
blue_jay_bird Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Didn't someone just post How "Do Women Ever Have Dating Issues?" I think it should be directly linked to this. Sorry to hear, think of it as a good thing your not wasting more time on this guy. Try to look at the positive, 12 week's could have been longer. 1
RedRobin Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 The other girl is getting no prize and was/is believing his BS that time away from her was with work too. Take some consolation in the fact you dodged a bullet... AND you don't have the emotional baggage of having cooked for him blah blah and feeling faux special on Valentine's Day while he was mushing it up with another woman (you) for the past however many weeks. You saw through his crap. She didn't/isn't. You should feel proud of yourself!!! High fives to you! 2
ShannonMI Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Someone told me that he was "hot and heavy" for someone else...he also tweeted on Valentine's Day that he loves it when a girl cooks for him. I was so livid you have no idea. How DARE he. Do yourself a favor and delete his twitter page. Or you will have more of these "livid" moments. Believe me, been there. Also, if you are on Facebook and you are friends with this tool box, delete or block him there as well.
ChessPieceFace Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 So stop going after A-holes then. If only lots of women would do that, the human race would improve considerably.
ShannonMI Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 So stop going after A-holes then. If only lots of women would do that, the human race would improve considerably. Sometimes it's hard to determine if a man is an @sshole or not until you start dating them. Unfortunately a lot of them are charming at first and are pros at lying and manipulating. It's only after getting to know them you see that they are @ssholes. Hopefully it's sooner rather then later. No one deserves to have their time wasted on men such as this.
ascendotum Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 (edited) Someone told me that he was "hot and heavy" for someone else...he also tweeted on Valentine's Day that he loves it when a girl cooks for him. I was so livid you have no idea. How DARE he. As the others have said you were fortunate to find this out. Even though you had offered to downshift the relationship to a friendship, often things can smoulder along with a FWB/f-buddy for many months more as NIP said. Even if that didn't happen the guy gets to exit with a clean skin, and another budding relationship successfully converted to a fling. Its hard for women to avoid, beyond remaining cautious about things when he's busy a lot soon into the relationship. Some women set themselves up though. I know some great career + handsome looks guys, and women hit on them, invite them out & sleep on the first date (instigated by the woman), and push forward with things so they can snag a great catch guy. The guys just go with the flow until about the 3 mth mark then exit gracefully with the work excuse (though they do have a stressful career). They get hit on quite often by some determined women in their early 30s. Edited February 16, 2013 by ascendotum
Author MissLY Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 Do yourself a favor and delete his twitter page. Or you will have more of these "livid" moments. Believe me, been there. Also, if you are on Facebook and you are friends with this tool box, delete or block him there as well. Oh believe me, the minute he wrote that, I unfollowed him right away. Eff him.
ChessPieceFace Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Sometimes it's hard to determine if a man is an @sshole or not until you start dating them. Unfortunately a lot of them are charming at first and are pros at lying and manipulating. It's only after getting to know them you see that they are @ssholes. Hopefully it's sooner rather then later. No one deserves to have their time wasted on men such as this. Exactly. So stop waiting for the most charming people to approach you, since a high percentage of them are the A-holes, but instead make some approaches yourself. Oh wait "a man has to do all the work and approaching otherwise he isn't a real man" - well there you go. That attitude is what caused this problem.
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 I love that he seemed shocked and wanted to check you were okay.... Oh, really? This - is just classic: please don't cut me off or ignore my calls/texts, I still want you to be in my life. LMAO!! 1
carhill Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 OP, if this is the same guy you've been posting about in the past, having reviewed my comments in those threads, I'll repeat my advice to date other men and to resist this one when he 'comes back around'. Good luck. 1
todreaminblue Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 I was seeing this guy for 12 weeks. We ended up having a conversation about where we stand etc. He basically said that he gets very busy with work, but he still wants to take things to the next level with me and move forward in our relationship. I was happy to hear that. So over the next couple weeks we're in touch quite frequently and everything is going well…until one weekend. I told him that I'd love to see him and he says perfect…but he never ends up reaching out to me about hanging out. Finally he calls me on sunday and tells me he's been so exhausted because of work lately and feels like he doesn't have time to see his family/friends etc. So I told him "I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who I see once every 2 weeks, especially since we live in the same city." He tells me "okay well I don't want to keep disappointing you" etc. So I said "maybe it would be better if we just stay friends." He says "yes, but please don't cut me off or ignore my calls/texts, I still want you to be in my life." So I said fine. We hang up. I'm livid of course. Why would you say that you want to move things forward with me when in fact you don't? And here's the real kicker. He spent Valentine's Day with another girl. (He told me he was only seeing me and no one else) *******. I would've LOVED to cuss him out in person, but since we're "over" that didn't make any sense. So I just unfollowed him on twitter (which he noticed because he hit up my friend to see if I was alright). Anyway, I just HATE when a guy takes me for a fool. I swear, this is the kind of **** that makes you not want to date. I don't EVER plan on answering his calls/texts again. He can go to hell. Just had to vent. people get busy, if you are truly caring and invested in someone you would give him that.......sorry i dont agree, he hits up yrou friend to see fi you are alright, he tells you he doesnt want to disappoint you ...i see this from a different point of view.....i see it this guy cares about you, and you are being selfish........i understand your disappointment about wanting to see him more.......he must be wonderful to be with if it makes you that angry........that you cant see him more...he sounds committed and lovign and caring abotu you and his job.......hmmmm.....sounds liek a keepr to me....what are you doing are you really thinking?.......are you going to let some other woman benefit from a good and caring guy.....you must be giving and altruistic yourself...you are giving away a keeper....times ticking for you......i would be selfishly thinking of ways to get back with this guy if i were you......deb
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 deb, you need to check her other threads.....
RedRobin Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 (edited) So stop going after A-holes then. If only lots of women would do that, the human race would improve considerably. Actually, the human race would improve considerably if men like this would be forced to accept responsibility for their behavior and other men who suffer from dating problems because of a-hole liars would stop looking up to them and trying to emulate them. It is not women's faults if some men are liars and she has nothing to be ashamed about if she kicks him to the curb as soon as she finds out. It is the guy who should be ashamed. This is why I don't date guys who have messed around alot... and I don't date strangers. They aren't going to get rewarded by ME for being jerks. Edited February 16, 2013 by RedRobin
ShannonMI Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 (edited) Exactly. So stop waiting for the most charming people to approach you, since a high percentage of them are the A-holes, but instead make some approaches yourself. Oh wait "a man has to do all the work and approaching otherwise he isn't a real man" - well there you go. That attitude is what caused this problem. Who says they have to approach me? I approach guys as well and a lot of them suck. And they suck after I get to know them. Oh what's your next argument?? I don't approach the right guys? How do you know who is right for your or wrong for you if you don't get to know someone? Whatever. Edited February 16, 2013 by ShannonMI
ChessPieceFace Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 Who says they have to approach me? I approach guys as well Did you approach this one, or did he approach you?
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