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Hating uncertainty


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Posted

HI everyone, I am new to the forum. I met a great guy in the beginning of January who lived in a city about 4 hours from me. We got along great and he asked me to go see him so I did. We had lunch and we ended up at his apartment because I was staying with him. We slept together and he told me he did not want a relationship, but regretted saying it immediately. I was okay with this and I have no expectations of him because I am not sure of what I want and I thought/think a fling would be good for me. We slept together again twice and I felt okay. I asked him to come visit me and he seemed disinterested, but said he would be down again soon and we could see each other. At the end of my visit he seemed slightly distant.

 

That night when I was heading home, things started to sink in and I realized that I was not okay with what he said. Even though I have no expectations, I became upset because I think ultimately I do want a relationship. I always have the tendency to wait around for guys and then become upset after I wasted my time.

 

I really want to call him and tell him how I feel, but I am scared to. I don't think he would get upset, but I do like him, but I know that I can't deal with the uncertainty of what he is thinking because he said he takes a while to warm up to women. I think I need to do this soon or I will make myself miserable.

 

I am trying to look positively at the situation in that I stepped out of my comfort zone and I had fun. We are texting often. I am trying to stay positive and strong, but it is difficult in this situation.

 

Has anyone had any experience with this? Anything would be appreciated.

Posted

If you are "scared" to talk about things like this, this early on, it doesn't bode well for the future.

I think you're scared of being alone, and that you'll scare him off.

 

But I also think it sounds like he was happy to woo you and screw you, but now he's had his fun, he's stepping back.

 

Let him make the next approach. Let him call, and let him plan.

 

Wait.

 

if you don't hear anything within the next fortnight - there's your answer....

Posted

Optimistic_girl86, you need to get realistic. Some guy you met off the internet made you travel 4 h to meet him, used you for sex and got rid of you without any concern for your feelings. Please don't invest any hopes into this person. He couldn't care less about you. At this stage you are not even a bootie call because he can't even be bothered to take the 4 drive to you.

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Posted (edited)

We do text, but I don't think it will go anywhere and I don't want to get my hopes up. I don't want to get attached either which could happen. I think I need to do it sooner. Also, I don't want him to think he can just request me to come and see me. I should have him come see me too.

 

We didn't meet online, we met in person at a nightclub and been communicating since we met.

Edited by Optimistic_girl86
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