Krieger Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 It is alright if a girl does not want kids but it a deal breaker since I want to be a dad some day. I know you do not bring up kids and marriage and politics on a first date and I do not. Once I find out a girl does not want kids or hates kids there is no need for my to see her any more. So now I am 29 and have a job a car and my own place, but I am busy cuz I am currently going back to college to become a physical therapy assistant. My job OK but it a dead end job and it is nothing i am passion at about doing forever. Retail sucks and i do not like it at all so it was time to do something new. My job just does not pay well like $18 an hour will not feed a family. I am working toward get my bachelor's degree in nursing or physical therapy assistant if i fail to get in to nursing. I know it is hard work to be a nurse and I am up for it . I am a caring, empathetic, calm, patient, flexible, a good listener, and like to help people and empathetic .On top of that I pay attention to details and good at solving problems and finding solutions. I want to work in the ICU or get into pediatric nursing. live on 3-4 hours of sleep on the weekdays and 6 hours on the weekends.Is what it is going to take to get good grades. I am at the point that I do not deserve a gf /wife and kids if I do not complete college. So me failing is not an option I have to make it at all cost. I want to give my kids every thing i did not have and be more involved in my kids life. My dad work 60+ hours a week so did get to bound with him as much as I wanted to . come to think of it I never play catch with my dad or any thing really . I want to play catch with my son or daughter and be on the side lines telling them they can do it and I believe in you . I have to make it so i can meet a girl and feel like i have some thing to offer . Right now i do not have much to offer a girl . I want a wife and kids but if i fail I do not deserve to be loved. The desire to feel like i am not a loser drives me. I don't know if that's the healthiest thing—to be motivated by a fear of hating yourself, but it helps. I feel like I've failed in terms of what my potential is. I don't think I've achieved my potential because I haven't worked that hard and I haven't found the right angles. I just want my future wife and kids to be proud of me and if I am not good at what I do or try my hardest I feel like a loser. Right now I am going to make the rest of my life the best of my life . So when a woman says she does not want kids there is no reason to date her IMO. I am fine if a woman does not want kids do your thing I just will not date you. I might be weird but i want to be a dad so bad as of late .
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Sound like the perfect bag of objectives to me. What's your problem....?
animalover Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 I don't know why do you even doubt it... you have all the right to have your own deal breakers and expectations... you are totally entitled to decide not to date a person who does not share your values or doesn't match your expectations in life. You would be shallow if you would judge people who do not want to have children in a general tone... but I don't think that is your case...
bodhesatva Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Seems completely reasonable to me. If "I want kids" is a shallow reason to seek a compatible mate, then what isn't shallow? That's an honest question. I can't think of many issues more serious and important to a long term relationship than potential children. 1
TigerCub Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Makes sense to me. I'm an atheist so a religious person wouldn't be a good match for me. I'm on the fence about kids so a person that's all geared up to procreate isn't a good match for me.... Picking a possible partner based on compatibility is how it should be - so there is nothing wrong with you not wanting to date a woman that doesn't want kids if you so want them...
Author Krieger Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 (edited) Sound like the perfect bag of objectives to me. What's your problem....? I want kids so if a woman does not why spent years dating her hoping she will change ? I am Turing 30 this year I know it not old but want to be a dad b4 I am 35-40. If a girl does not want kids it all good do your thing but I will pass on dating you. dogs are great but there not like kids . when people say my dog is like my kid I say well you do not have a dog cuz your were to drunk to pull out. Edited February 16, 2013 by Krieger
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 darling, I'm going to sound patronising and I really don't want you to take this the wrong way, but you need to learn to differentiate between 'their', 'they're' and 'there'. If you're going to study and get a qualification, you'll need to write. And if you write, you have to be accurate. dogs are great but they're not like kids . no one was a dog because they were too drunk to pull out. Good grammar. The difference between knowing your schytt and Knowing you're schytt. (Even After your edit, the corrections still stand.....)
Author Krieger Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 darling, I'm going to sound patronising and I really don't want you to take this the wrong way, but you need to learn to differentiate between 'their', 'they're' and 'there'. If you're going to study and get a qualification, you'll need to write. And if you write, you have to be accurate. Good grammar. The difference between knowing your schytt and Knowing you're schytt. (Even After your edit, the corrections still stand.....) I just need to read what I type before I send it . Oh well next time
crude Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 You're being perfectly reasonable. However, be careful. If your father had to work long hours and wasn't there much, and you don't want to be like that, then make sure your wife makes a good living so you don't have to be the only breadwinner and you can spend as much time with the kids as her. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that only a man has to support a family.
Author Krieger Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 You're being perfectly reasonable. However, be careful. If your father had to work long hours and wasn't there much, and you don't want to be like that, then make sure your wife makes a good living so you don't have to be the only breadwinner and you can spend as much time with the kids as her. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that only a man has to support a family. yea I know I just want to make enough so she work in a field that she likes and does not have to worry about making a ton of money . Also she can work part time to stay at home with the kids if she wants.
todreaminblue Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 its fine to want what you want, to me its natural to want kids, kids are a gift, nothign quite like beign a parent its not all on the side lines though saying go i believe in you, its painful, its painful when they grow into themselves and that you believe in them is not the most that they have on their mind, its painful when you believe in them adn they dont beleive in themselves, its painful when they come home and they have had a crap day and no amount of it will another day tomorrow can fix them, nothign you say makes them feel any better, and when you look into the eyes you gave them,and you see sadness, cuts straight to your heart, playing catch wont fix that,nor will it when they tell you i dont want to talk about it....with every giftof a child there is that heart ache that goes with it......you wotn fidn oen parent who is a good parent that says bringing up children is not full of heart ache the joy is abundant but there is always a balance there..... i dont know how many times i felt i have failed my kids,not felt good enough not had the right words to say to encourage belief and understanding, even a sex talk with my fourteen year old was....a mission that i felt uncomfortable with...i had to do it...if you have a mindset that failure is not an option you are putting pressure on yourself, you have to be prepared for failures and near misses, you have to be prepared for all the good times and expect things to go wrong.....multiple times You have every right to want kids and be a dad i commend you for that, but, to have those children you need to find someone who you share love with, not for the fact she can have your child or wants your child but because you love her and she loves you....thats my opinion....kids come out of love not with success of conceiving.......best wishes.....deb
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Obviously, if she makes more money than you, you can go Part-time and stay at home with them....No...?
Author Krieger Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 Obviously, if she makes more money than you, you can go Part-time and stay at home with them....No...? just as long as a woman will not throw it in my face . I seen it to many times that a woman will make more then a man and then she get mad at him and say mean things and throw it in his face that she makes all the money and you suck and can put food on the table.
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 If a woman acts like that, she's not the child-bearing type.... 1
StanMusial Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 It's not shallow. It's a huge consideration to take into account. Besides if she doesn't want kids she probably doesn't want someone who does. I feel the same way and I date younger because I want kids too.
mammasita Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 I would love to have a stay at home man......jeez.
Recommended Posts