DBUK Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 Here's a few questions for you all.... How can you be sure that what you feel for your partner is love ? How do you define your love ? How can you tell that your not just with someone so that your not alone ? HOw do you know it's 'love love' and not just 'friendship love' ? Lookingf forward to your answers
murasaki Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 Originally posted by DBUK Here's a few questions for you all.... 1. How can you be sure that what you feel for your partner is love ? 2. How do you define your love ? 3. How can you tell that your not just with someone so that your not alone ? 4. HOw do you know it's 'love love' and not just 'friendship love' ? Lookingf forward to your answers I'm not sure that the answers will be the same for everyone. To be honest these aren't questions that come up for me very often. But I'll give you my take on it. 1. I want to sleep with him, eat with him, laugh with him, do grocery shopping with him, debate with him, basically spend as much time with him as I can (although I appreciate time on my own, too). 2. I don't define love -- you know it when you feel it. I think needing to define it suggests that something is probably not quite right. 3. I don't mind being alone, although in the past I think I did stay longer in a relationship than I should have for the sake of keeping the relationship, but it was way more complicated than simply not wanting to be alone. Where I'm at now, I'd rather be alone than with someone I couldn't love. And I've broken up with several guys over the last few years for that very reason. 4. See #1. Especially the part about sleeping with him. I don't sleep with my friends, and actually I'd need a break from being with a friend 24/7 sooner than I would need a break from being with him 24/7.
DBUK Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 Sorry, I'm not sure that the answers will be the same for everyone. I didn't want a definitive answer, i wanted peoples opinions on what they feel love is.
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room. LUST - When sex is called "screwing." LOVE - When sex is called "making love."' MARRIAGE - When Intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania. LUST - When you steal everything they own. LOVE - When you share everything you own. MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything. LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax. LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax. MARRIAGE - When ... uh ... what's a climax? LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room. LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi." MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to bitch about work. LUST - When all you write is your phone number. LOVE - When you write poems about your partner MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks. LUST - When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all around. LOVE - When your only concern is for your partner's feelings. MARRIAGE - When your only concern is what's on TV. LUST - When you only see each other naked. LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner. MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake. LUST - When your groin twitches every time you see them. LOVE - When your heart flutters every time you see them. MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties every time you see them. LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it. LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel. MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio. LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about. LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about. MARRIAGE - When just getting through the day is your only thought. LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner. LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things WITH your partner. MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score. LUST - When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and have sex. LOVE - When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk. MARRIAGE - When a rainy day means it's time to clean the basement. LUST - You only leave the house to buy condoms and lube. LOVE - You only leave the house to buy coffee and doughnuts. MARRIAGE - You only leave the house when you're allowed.
moimeme Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 One reason I go find sites with info is it saves me a lot of typing Here are a couple of good explanations that I agree with http://www.drirene.com/isitlove.htm http://www.links2love.com/is_it_love_2.htm
surfergirl Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 DBUK.... do your palms sweat and your heart beats really fast when you're with them and do you have the "butterflies" in your stomach???? For me, when you're in love you "feel" it and lust is you just "want" it.... But who's the expert anyway????
DBUK Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 DBUK.... do your palms sweat and your heart beats really fast when you're with them and do you have the "butterflies" in your stomach???? Do these feeling slast for ever though....my parents say these sort of feelings faded after 2 or 3 years, but they're still happily married and deeply in love !!
surfergirl Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 They are probably not going to tell you their "secret". I'm sure their heart still picks up speed when the love of your life walks in the room....how could it not??? I was married for nine years and he could walk in the room and everyone else faded away my heart would race and the butterflies would come everytime..... Sometimes the feeling is not mutual and in my case he moved on to a party life... but who cries over spilled milk???? I don't... Maybe I'm way off base but that's what I want again.....
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 Do these feeling slast for ever though....my parents say these sort of feelings faded after 2 or 3 years, but they're still happily married and deeply in love !! Your folks are right, DBUK. Love takes hold after the sweaty palms, weak knees and butterflies fade. When the manic whirlwind of passion subsides and you ease into a more comfortable, safer and quieter place. When your perfect lover becomes your beloved yet flawed best friend, and your heart no longer feels restless, but instead settles quietly having finally found its "home." At least, that's what "love" kinda feels like to me.
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