bloomer Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 So, I am new here and need some desperate advice. I have always been a depressed sort of a person all my life. The basic facts: Been in 4 years of relationship. After 4 years she leaves/or thought of leaving for a co-worker. Chased her for 13 months. Begged, pleaded drunken dialling and what not. Heard some rumours she is going out with him, lsat Dec. Since, that I decided to cut off all contact. I did not know what NC is then but felt contact was painful. Confronted her last time. She kept on crying, did not confirm or deny. Just said pls. do not talk about all that. Then I had on what many call a "Road to Damascus moment". Jst cut all ties. Blocked her on FB. Then I read "The Power of Now" and some sort of Epiphany. NC for last 75 days. Unblocked her today. saw that the other guy and she added each other on FB in Jan sometime again. Must have de-friended. somewhere it got bst of me. I sent her a mail today asking "Hi, How are you." NO REPLY. Now that I have read countless threads I know NC is the way to go. Am I right. I think we are NOT meant to be. I was needy and co-dependent in the past. Now I think I am not. Am I right in just waitnng if mail is answered or othersiwe going on with my life?? BTW the BU pained but help me kick the bottle, reduce smoking. Re-build a relationship with my bro and dad. I am a little embarassed at my begging but i have learnt a lot too. Time to hang-up the boots right. P.S: I am not the net savvy, though 26 only, i always felt real world is more important. Guess i should have googled before and got this site. would have saved a lot of heart-ache.
Author bloomer Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 Crap.. She replied.. I am fine. How are u doing? I don't have any idea what to say now. I am 70% over her. I mean she is in my thoughts sometime not all the time nowadays. What do I do? How do I get away without giving her any pain. as in my previous post, my drinking and wayward habits forced her to break up with me.
KatZee Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 This is why you don't break NC. You're going to take that 70% over her, and bring it right back down to 0%. You're not over her obviously and the exchange between you guys is so awkward that I'M cringing over here. What is, "Hi, how are you?" anyway? You haven't spoken in close to three months and that's what you send? As if you speak every single day. I would just kind of drop it at this. Don't respond at all. She fine. That's great. Now block her again and go on your way. It's not worth the backtracking for such a stupid conversation. 1
cdt76 Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 I would love to offer some advice but all I'm sort of at a loss for words. How long have you been chasing this girl again? And in all that time she hasn't made a single overture to fix things? If that is the case. This would be my advice: Email her back. Say you are doing well. Lots has changed for the positive in your. Life and you are happy. And leave it at that and never contact her again. If she hasn't attempted to get you back then she doesn't want you. She may not want you to hurt but she doesn't want you inher life. 1
Author bloomer Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 This is why you don't break NC. You're going to take that 70% over her, and bring it right back down to 0%. You're not over her obviously and the exchange between you guys is so awkward that I'M cringing over here. What is, "Hi, how are you?" anyway? You haven't spoken in close to three months and that's what you send? As if you speak every single day. I would just kind of drop it at this. Don't respond at all. She fine. That's great. Now block her again and go on your way. It's not worth the backtracking for such a stupid conversation. As I said, I did not know what NC is or such websites exist. My only source of advice were a couple of buddies who are wither in long term relationships or are players. When I went NC, it was because I just did not even feel the want/need/desire to talk to her. I think I am not going to do anything for now. Just let it be. Ok and I agree NC is the way to go. I think that is the reason I am not friends with my 2 exes. It just felt unwanted to have a chat once, considerabl time passes.
Author bloomer Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 I would love to offer some advice but all I'm sort of at a loss for words. How long have you been chasing this girl again? And in all that time she hasn't made a single overture to fix things? If that is the case. This would be my advice: Email her back. Say you are doing well. Lots has changed for the positive in your. Life and you are happy. And leave it at that and never contact her again. If she hasn't attempted to get you back then she doesn't want you. She may not want you to hurt but she doesn't want you inher life. 13 months.. but since, April 2012 was more of a despaired rant. She did made overtures, atleast I think so but every time she blew cold later. I think over here it is called bread crumbs.. Last attempt was somewhere in Oct. My mail was just a way to keep the line of communication open. Just in case. Naivety is no excuse for being a fool but I paid the price.
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