creighton0123 Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Albeit the drive here was pretty high and low. Did you know that 9/10 songs that play on the radio are love songs in some way, shape, or form? NPR is my choice for the drive home. Anyone have experience or advice for how long the heart dropping sensation may last? I find that when I have nothing productive to focus on, I get a sinking heart sensation every few minutes - anxiety related of course. It's more disconcerting than anything.
stevie_23 Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Ah yes, I know this feeling well. It's quite unpleasant. I find this would happen to me a LOT whenever I'd let myself think of something that hit me hard...like in particularly hard. Like the way my ex ended things. Or the fact he said things while we were together like "I will never leave you" and such...and then he left. Or a certain song would come on the radio at work (where I can't change the station or just walk out of the room if required) and I'd feel sick and like my heart was residing in both my stomach and my throat simultaneously. (And YES, 9 out of 10 songs are love songs! I noticed that too over the past few months. I can assign significant meaning to my situation from most of the songs on the radio at the moment) I found my medication has helped me a heap (anti-depressants / anti anxiety. Mild, mild dose). Otherwise, just time helps this feeling become less and less. And being distracted. And trying to keep yourself from dwelling too much. If you think something or notice something that causes that feeling to arise, then quickly change your thoughts to something else. Say "shhh" to yourself and let your mind move away from that. I found when I would get that unpleasant feeling, it'd usually come out of anger / intense pain, and what'd help me was to try to find the peacefulness in the situation. Like if I got that feeling because I was thinking "How could he end things like that? Did all those things he said while we were together mean nothing?", I would then switch to thinking "He ended things because he felt he had no choice. The things he said during our time were all true and he loved me deeply. The fact he ended things doesn't change that". I'd feel better after that.
newsbug Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 I wish I could find a cure for that heart sick feeling. I'm going to see my parents for the first time today since the break up happened. I'm feeling okay today so far...sad of course, but okay. I just hope it stays "ok" enough that I don't break down and start sobbing in front of them and their friends. I'm meeting them at their VFW.
Soxfaninfl Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 My parents were a good source of comfort, and I wouldn't have gotten thru my divorce with out them. It's ok to break down I front of them. They are your parents and there to support you. I did have a good counselor also to help.
Author creighton0123 Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 Not one for breaking down. I get emotional, express it either in private or to a close friend, calm myself down and move on. I feel things will be much better when I get back home on Sunday night and his stuff is gone from my apartment. That alone will push me beyond the denial phase permanently. He will be gone and no contact will be 100% enforceable.
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