What's going on with me? We met once... (Dream girl?)

[LoveReel]

(I'm sorry! I know this is long! But please read! Thanks everyone in advance for the help!)

 

Hello everyone. I'm 26 years old, and I've been going through some emotional stuff that I've never been through before, and I don't know what to think or if it is normal!

 

Some background first: I've been in several relationships (long and serious, never was one for "one night stands" or whatever they're called), and ended up hurt (badly) in all (4) of them.

 

So, what happened (bear with me, it's kind of long, sorry!): So I subscribe to a forum (this was a private forum for a paid service, it wasn't just a random anyone-can-join, forum), and made a post. Several people reply, welcoming me to the community, and commenting on the subject of the thread, I reply to them and go to bed. That night I had a weird dream. A dream that felt both real, and stayed in my mind for a while (which dreams tend not to do). I dreamt that I met this girl through an online game, and we shared a lot in common, and although she was born at the same place I live, she was working abroad. In the dream we played this game for several days, until she disappears from the internet all of the sudden. Suddently, in the dream, I am having dinner with my family at a restaurant to which I haven't gone in around 10 years, when she enters through the doors. I recognize her immediately and she hugs me and says she came back to our country for me. We both leave the restaurant and go for a walk, talk a lot and end up playing the same game where we met, physically together.

 

I know, weird dream. So I wake up, and think about this dream for a while, it intrigued me. I could remember her face, her smile, her voice and her scent. I took a note of it on my dream diary, with a quick sketch of her appearance, but it stayed on my mind for the rest of the morning. After work and lunch, I wasn't thinking about it anymore. I decided then, to check out the forum I had joined the previous night. I had another reply from one of the people who first replied to the thread. It was this person who found out, through my twitter, that we actually lived in the same country, and that he/she (as I was unsure at the moment) had followed me on it, to keep in touch. So I go to twitter, and follow the person back, now seeing that it is a girl. We trade facebook links through twitter and start talking through facebook. After adding her on facebook, first thing I did was reply to her message. We spoke for about 15 minutes, and I was curious to find out more about her. I didn't know yet what she looked like, as her profile picture was an artistic photo with overlaying effects. So I look at her "Likes" page. And hey! It's the same game I dreamt about. Mind you, I did not make any connections here. All that was on my mind was "Cool! Finally a person to play this with!". I check her musical preferences, and I am shocked, we have very similar tastes! Which wouldn't be that surprising if I had *normal* musical tastes (I like very experimental / avant-garde and weird bands). I started getting more intrigued about this person. Movies, TV Series... We had several of the same favorites! So I decide to check her photos. I browse through them, and I find her really pretty, until I stumble upon a photo where she has her eyes more wide open and illuminated. Right there I had that sense of deja vu "Uh, did I see her before?". I couldn't remember any occasion when that might have happened, but it kept bugging me. She looked very familiar - especially her big wide beautiful eyes.

 

We keep exchanging messages, and eventually IM usernames so we could talk more often (I don't use facebook much). Then she tells me she is working abroad. I did not remember the dream at this point yet, I was very into the conversation. She works abroad, but she is currently in our country, and thinking of staying for a long while or even permanently. We talk a few more hours and I go to bed. Before I go to sleep, I always prepare my dream diary so I can write on it right after I wake up, while everything is still fresh, and so I open the diary on the last page, and there's the sketch from the girl from my dream. I stare at it for a while, and rest my head on the pillow, when it hits me like lightning. It's her, it's the girl I just met. She also works abroad, plays the game from my dream and we have a lot in common. My eyes widened open, and I lost my sleep. It was the most surreal experience I've every had in my life. There I was, dreaming about this person who I don't know, only to meet her the next day. I didn't know what to think, or what to do - I just wanted to jump out of bed and talk to her some more! But she was already asleep. I tried (helplessly) to find sleep that night, and ended up sleeping around 2 hours, max. It was one insane night, my brain would not stop racing!

 

So comes the next day, and we talk some more. That, and all the following conversations, can also be categorized as "surreal", most of the conversations we kept getting really shocked that we liked the same stuff, sometimes even wrote the same things at the same time! It was insane! We decided we had to meet in person (and yes, I know, don't meet persons who you just met online a day ago - I took a lot of precautions!), so we made plans for that friday (4 days after). Along comes friday, and she can't make it, she apologizes and I tell her it's ok, we should make plans for another time. That weekend we ended up talking a lot online, it's funny, I felt like I already knew her for a long time! And she tells me where she lives. To my SHOCK, she lived REALLY CLOSE (and I mean around 2 minutes on foot) from the restaurant where she meets me in the dream. I kid you not. We also find out we were stranded on the same airport once 2 years before, for around 16 hours, we've been to several of the same concerts, and a lot more weird coincidences. So during the beginning of the week (this week), she asks me if I'm going to meet with my girlfriend for valentines' (we hadn't touched the girlfriend / boyfriend question yet), to which I replied "no", I didn't have one. She proceeds to actually ask me if I want to have dinner with her on valentines'. Mind you, I never had a girl ask me out lol, especially on that day! I got nervous and blushed on the internet (this never happened before lol!), and sure, I was concerned about being careful - we never know what we get when meeting people from the internet!). So we made plans for place and time, all public and with a lot of movement, and I made sure to choose a good restaurant secure our reservations. On the day, she almost cancels on me, but then finds a way to still be able to meet me (rollercoaster!). So along comes the time and place, I was getting real nervous, when I hear someone calling for me. It was her. My first thought? "Whew, it's not a guy wielding an axe!" - I'm half joking I was really nervous as we approached each other, but once we said hello it all went away, and it was all smooth. We had a walk to the restaurant, and talked a lot. I couldn't help but staring right into her eyes - those same eyes that I stared into in my dream.

 

Her personality shows even better than I expected from talking to her online and we have a LOT of fun. We talk for hours, in the middle of all the other romantic couples (which was a bit weird lol - first dates in valentines day, fun!). We flirt with eachother a lot during the evening, and I made sure to be the perfect gentleman. I was scared of getting nervous and messing up big time, but it never happened. Since we had been speaking on the internet for two weeks, we already had a lot of topics we knew we had in common to talk about. After dinner we walk for a while, where I fight my temptation to try and put my arm around her, or hold hands - whatever, just something! And why did I fight this temptation? I've been in that situation before, I've had dating experience, it was never awkward or hard - I just had to do it! If I got rejected, then that would mean she was either not ready or not into me, and I'd move forward. But with her, I was afraid of messing up! I did not want to make ONE wrong move. And so we went, she was walk VERY close to me (rubbing shoulders / arms), and I was getting real nervous this time. I've never had this happen before - save my first date ever when I was a teenager of course. So I drive her home, she thanks me for the dinner, taking her home, everything, says she loved her time with me and that she wanted to do it again soon. Now, this is the time, from my every other experience, where I would try to lean in on her, and see if she would lean back for a kiss, in case I felt some chemistry. But I couldn't do it. I was afraid of being to forward / fast and ruinning it for good! If I don't feel a lot of chemistry, I at least touch the girl's cheek in a caring way. I couldn't do that either. And I was fighting my brain so hard that I don't even know for sure if she stayed a few seconds in the car looking at me - maybe waiting for me to do something! We say goodbye to each other (normal kiss on the cheek) and speak about meeting a few days after, and make actual plans for an event a few weeks away. She tells me she will confirm it. I go home, and I was hitting myself, mentally, for not making it more obvious to her that I LIKE HER, so I send her a text immediately after leaving her telling her that I had an amazing time and that I loved being with her, sweet dreams and good night. She replies back, very humurously (referencing a running joke we had during the day).

 

Again, no sleep. What was going on with me? I liked girls before, and I've been rejected by girls I liked before it turned into an actual relationship, I've been on several dates. I've done this a lot of times. What the hell was going on with me? What I was feeling for this girl was something I NEVER felt before in my life. I can't put it to words. Only thing I can say is, I feel that if I ruin it with her, I won't be able to handle it very well. And I've been goddamn dumped horribly by girls with who I had long relationships with. So yes. Again, no sleep... There I was, after a night with (literally) the girl of my dreams, and all that would come to my head was that she might think I'm not interested in her in THAT way, because I was very friendly but made no moves, apart from some flirting and flirt-touching. I finally get to sleep for about 3 hours, and when I wake up I see she's been on facebook, and I decided I had to do something more to show her that I'm interested in her, and to see if she might be as well. So I send her another text, saying that I had just woke up and that I was thinking of her and the great time we had together. She replies retributing the same thing. Later that night, she tells me she won't be able to make it for the plans we made while in the car (not the event), and gave me the reason, and I knew it was the truth since she had told me that before. I replied that it was too bad we wouldn't be able to meet, but we would just make plans for another time! We texted some more, and she finally goes to sleep. And now here I am. Actually sort of in panic.

 

Here I am! After meeting a girl for one day, and I can't stop thinking about her. Her cute voice when speaking to the waiter, her smile and her wide eyes looking straight at mine showing genuine interest about what I was talking about. Her hands playing with her hair. Her beautiful hands sitting there on the table, real close to mine. What is this? Did I just experience what people call "love at first sight"? (Although it was more "at first day"). I can't even muster the thought of being rejected by this girl! I feel like I would be destroyed! I've never belived in a soul mate, but I am seriously considering this due to the surreal coincidences involving all of this! I felt at HOME with her. I could see myself with this woman in the future. Every minute that goes by where I am not looking at her eyes it actually hurts! When she takes a little while longer to reply to me, I start getting scared I might have said something wrong!

 

I don't know what this feeling is, but I REALLY like her - SO MUCH, and I am SO afraid that she might not like me back - which is INSANE - we met 2 weeks ago, but we only met face to face ONCE. Right now, if I look at another woman, I don't even care, I don't feel that same "animalistic" first attracting that we humans have - SHE pops into my mind. So I don't know what to do! I'm definitely going to plan a second date with her very soon (probably next week), and I want to get closer to her, show her that I like and want her. But I am scared as hell to ruin this. I've met a lot of women, and I am a weird, different guy. I've never met any woman REMOTELY close to me in terms of common tastes, ideologies, etc. And along comes this dream girl, out of nowhere, all of the sudden, and sweeps me off my feet. That night I spent with her, I felt in heaven. I don't want that to go away.

 

Whew, sorry for the mini novel, but I wanted to detail the whole thing so it's easier to understand my situation. If you make it to end, I'd love to hear your thoughts and advice if you have / can share with me... You'd be helping me a lot so THANK YOU IN ADVANCE - I mean it.

 

LoveReel

[yongyong]

It never goes ok when you have to write about a girl.....especially this long

[LoveReel]

It never goes ok when you have to write about a girl.....especially this long

 

There's a reason why it's long, I wanted to share every detail about how we've met. I'm not forcing anyone to read this... if anyone wants to read it and maybe share thoughts then I would be most greatful. That's it. And from your comment I'd say you did not read it, which is okay, again, not forcing anyone.

 

LoveReel

[blue_jay_bird]

This is all in your head. Based on nothing by dream's and fantasy. You know nothing about this girl, all you know is that you want her to be yours. Nothing, because it takes alot alot, longer to know someone.

 

Obsession, It happens to all of us.

 

You are filling in the blanks. You have to calm down. Cause you are placing her on a pedestal. This type of behavior can scare her away. It scared me, I think you wrote a small novel about how awesome she is.

 

It's unhealthy cause she is not perfect. And well there are a lot of things unhealthy about your obsession.

 

Just take a step back, try thinking of things not perfect about her.

 

There are 3 billion women on the planet...

Edited February 16, 2013 by blue_jay_bird

[LoveReel]

This is all in your head. Based on nothing by dream's and fantasy. You know nothing about this girl, all you know is that you want her to be yours. Nothing, because it takes alot alot, longer to know someone.

 

Obsession, It happens to all of us.

 

You are filling in the blanks. You have to calm down. Cause you are placing her on a pedestal. This type of behavior can scare her away. It scared me, I think you wrote a small novel about how awesome she is.

 

It's unhealthy cause she is not perfect. And well there are a lot of things unhealthy about your obsession.

 

Just take a step back, try thinking of things not perfect about her.

 

There are 3 billion women on the planet...

 

Thank you. I've thought about this possibility as well. But the fact is that there are a lot of weird coincidences about the two of us. I am not saying she is perfect, at all! I haven't met her enough to say that! All I did was describe what I am feeling right now. And it's as I said, I've done this before, I'm not at all new to dating or relationships, but I never had a woman make such an impact on me.

 

I'm doing my best to not overwhelm her, I've been texting her once a day (sometimes she texts me first) through phone or facebook, and we've been talking about meeting again soon. I've forced myself to be patient when she takes a while to reply, because the last thing I want to do right now is scare her away.

 

If I'm obsessed or not, I don't know. I do know that I have been obcessed with a girl before, and it is quite different. With that girl, (about 7 years ago), she was, to me, flawless in everyway, I was blind to her flaws and I would obcessively speak to her online or through phone. This is very different, I am aware that these feelings are overwhelming but I am able to keep my calm and do this slowly and smoothely. The thing that worries me the most is ruining it with her.

 

Thank you for your reply

 

EDIT: Also, I do know a lot about her. As I said on my post, we've been speaking online for 2 weeks, everyday for several hours, and we spent that night talking face to face for several hours as well. I'm not saying I know her perfectly well to fall in *love* or anything. Just that, she is not that much of a stranger right now, she's exactly what she has shown online, and more. So it's not just about "dreams and fantasies". The dream was a fact, and it was a surreal experience, and I won't deny it might influence what I'm going through, because it was very weird.

Edited February 16, 2013 by LoveReel

[blue_jay_bird]

Thank you. I've thought about this possibility as well. But the fact is that there are a lot of weird coincidences about the two of us. I am not saying she is perfect, at all! I haven't met her enough to say that! All I did was describe what I am feeling right now. And it's as I said, I've done this before, I'm not at all new to dating or relationships, but I never had a woman make such an impact on me.

 

I'm doing my best to not overwhelm her, I've been texting her once a day (sometimes she texts me first) through phone or facebook, and we've been talking about meeting again soon. I've forced myself to be patient when she takes a while to reply, because the last thing I want to do right now is scare her away.

 

If I'm obsessed or not, I don't know. I do know that I have been obcessed with a girl before, and it is quite different. With that girl, (about 7 years ago), she was, to me, flawless in everyway, I was blind to her flaws and I would obcessively speak to her online or through phone. This is very different, I am aware that these feelings are overwhelming but I am able to keep my calm and do this slowly and smoothely. The thing that worries me the most is ruining it with her.

 

Thank you for your reply

 

What are these weird coincidences about the two of you guys?

 

The first post is alot.

 

I don't care if you talked 24 everyday for 2 weeks.

 

You can't know someone in two weeks. THIS is NOT Romeo and Juliet

Edited February 16, 2013 by blue_jay_bird

[LoveReel]

What are these weird coincidences about the two of you guys?

 

The first post is alot.

 

Ideologies, tastes, choices of carrer (both of them), we've been to several places at the same time as the other (stranded in the same airport for many hours, concerts, events, schools), the dream has many coincidences - where we meet in person - she (IRL) lives really close to it, she plays the same game I dreamt I was playing when I met her, we've both had the plans to study / work abroad at the same location around the same time (although my plan never happened for various personal and carreer reasons), and the list goes on...

[Ruby Slippers]

Just go after her. You're obviously on fire for this girl - which is a blessing.

 

Prepare yourself to be OK whether it works out or not. A lot of relationships (young and old) do not work out. Just ENJOY it while it lasts, whether that's months or forever

[LoveReel]

Just go after her. You're obviously on fire for this girl - which is a blessing.

 

Prepare yourself to be OK whether it works out or not. A lot of relationships (young and old) do not work out. Just ENJOY it while it lasts, whether that's months or forever

 

Thank you for your kind words. And yeah, I've been struggling to be OK with the idea of it not working out, it's always a possibility.

 

I'd also like to add - I KNOW it takes years and years to get to know a person REALLY well, but it can take weeks to get really into a person. I've been there, it just was never this strong.

[blue_jay_bird]

Thank you for your kind words. And yeah, I've been struggling to be OK with the idea of it not working out, it's always a possibility.

 

I'd also like to add - I KNOW it takes years and years to get to know a person REALLY well, but it can take weeks to get really into a person. I've been there, it just was never this strong.

 

Well, just be careful. That was a very very long post. Try to keep things realistic.

[LoveReel]

Well, just be careful. That was a very very long post. Try to keep things realistic.

 

Yes! I am! It was long just because I had a lot of details I thought I should share so I wouldn't sound like a guy who got obsessed with a girl after being with her once, since there's a lot more to it than that.

[Ruby Slippers]

The love of my life (so far) told me on our first date that he had dreamed about me before we met. He described the dream in detail, and it was... crazy how it rang true.

 

No one has ever loved me more than he did, and it changed my life.

 

We're not together anymore because his family was crazy and interfering - but we are still friends and have maintained a good relationship.

 

I think when lightning strikes you like this, it's always worthwhile to go where the inspiration takes you

[LoveReel]

The love of my life (so far) told me on our first date that he had dreamed about me before we met. He described the dream in detail, and it was... crazy how it rang true.

 

No one has ever loved me more than he did, and it changed my life.

 

We're not together anymore because his family was crazy and interfering - but we are still friends and have maintained a good relationship.

 

I think when lightning strikes you like this, it's always worthwhile to go where the inspiration takes you

 

I thought about telling her about the dream, but I was really scared of scaring her away! How did you take it, and how did he abord the subject? (if it's ok for you to share!)

[Harradin]

This sounds so familiar to my story. I used to dream about this girl who would walk into my life unexpectedly who was my 'dream girl.'

 

I used to be a big part of a car forum, I used to regularly run/attend events etc, I was practically staff, I was good friends with the staff so I practically knew all the events and ideas before everyone else did. I didn't really know what I was doing on it as I was gradually losing interest in the whole thing, then this girl appeared. I got butterflies as soon as I saw her first post, I shrugged it off.

 

I didn't really speak to her much in the first week she joined up, but then we ended up talking and we didn't stop chatting for hours on the forum chatbox and other members used to tease us saying we were like a married couple. After that conversation we ended up exchanging numbers where I found out she lived 20 minutes drive from me. After a week of texting (literally all day and night) we decided to meet up on an evening, we had instant chemistry and when I saw her, it was like I was struck by lightning, I've never felt anything like it in my life before. I realised that the girl was the 'dream girl' I had been dreaming about for years. I'm positive I fell in love at first sight. She then came round to my house the next day where we ended up cuddling up at mine, and we both realised we had mutual feelings for each other. A few days later we made it official and started going out.

 

2 and a half months later, it was the best time of my life, our families/friends were saying how good we were together etc, I treated her like a princess, she used to tell me she loved me frequently, we never argued and we had this incredible connection I could never explain. She told me her parents were getting divorced and she was really upset about it, so I spent that week looking after her. I was away that weekend and she suddenly went distant. She then dumped me the Monday after that weekend by email telling me she had left me for my "friend" who had been making moves on her (got his friend to send her messages on Fb trying to break up me and her) since she found out about her parent's divorce. I was crushed and didn't understand why. I tried getting her back a month later but she chose him over me and not spoken to her since, and its been nearly 4 months since.

 

There wasn't really much to learn, I still don't know why she left me, I have no idea why my "friend" was suddenly more suitable then me when I tried to be the perfect boyfriend. I had never experienced ANYTHING like it, I genuinely thought I was going to marry her, it felt so right. But what I did learn was everything isn't supposed to be, everyone has a choice and she must have not felt the same way I felt for her (although she told me that she was positive I was her soul mate, because of our connection.) And you have to be prepared for everything life throws at you, as I couldn't have predicted she'd settle for less with someone else when she told me all of these feelings she felt for me and how I felt about her.

 

My story didn't work out, but I wish you good luck with yours and hope it does work out! Enjoy it while it lasts, but be prepared for anything to happen!

[LoveReel]

This sounds so familiar to my story. I used to dream about this girl who would walk into my life unexpectedly who was my 'dream girl.'

 

I used to be a big part of a car forum, I used to regularly run/attend events etc, I was practically staff, I was good friends with the staff so I practically knew all the events and ideas before everyone else did. I didn't really know what I was doing on it as I was gradually losing interest in the whole thing, then this girl appeared. I got butterflies as soon as I saw her first post, I shrugged it off.

 

I didn't really speak to her much in the first week she joined up, but then we ended up talking and we didn't stop chatting for hours on the forum chatbox and other members used to tease us saying we were like a married couple. After that conversation we ended up exchanging numbers where I found out she lived 20 minutes drive from me. After a week of texting (literally all day and night) we decided to meet up on an evening, we had instant chemistry and when I saw her, it was like I was struck by lightning, I've never felt anything like it in my life before. I realised that the girl was the 'dream girl' I had been dreaming about for years. I'm positive I fell in love at first sight. She then came round to my house the next day where we ended up cuddling up at mine, and we both realised we had mutual feelings for each other. A few days later we made it official and started going out.

 

2 and a half months later, it was the best time of my life, our families/friends were saying how good we were together etc, I treated her like a princess, she used to tell me she loved me frequently, we never argued and we had this incredible connection I could never explain. She told me her parents were getting divorced and she was really upset about it, so I spent that week looking after her. I was away that weekend and she suddenly went distant. She then dumped me the Monday after that weekend by email telling me she had left me for my "friend" who had been making moves on her (got his friend to send her messages on Fb trying to break up me and her) since she found out about her parent's divorce. I was crushed and didn't understand why. I tried getting her back a month later but she chose him over me and not spoken to her since, and its been nearly 4 months since.

 

There wasn't really much to learn, I still don't know why she left me, I have no idea why my "friend" was suddenly more suitable then me when I tried to be the perfect boyfriend. I had never experienced ANYTHING like it, I genuinely thought I was going to marry her, it felt so right. But what I did learn was everything isn't supposed to be, everyone has a choice and she must have not felt the same way I felt for her (although she told me that she was positive I was her soul mate, because of our connection.) And you have to be prepared for everything life throws at you, as I couldn't have predicted she'd settle for less with someone else when she told me all of these feelings she felt for me and how I felt about her.

 

My story didn't work out, but I wish you good luck with yours and hope it does work out! Enjoy it while it lasts, but be prepared for anything to happen!

 

Thank you so much for sharing your story! It sucks it didn't work out for you! But I'm sure "the one" for you is still out there, waiting for you to find her!

 

I, too, hope this works out, but yeah, I'm trying to prepare myself for anything...

[Harradin]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! It sucks it didn't work out for you! But I'm sure "the one" for you is still out there, waiting for you to find her!

 

I, too, hope this works out, but yeah, I'm trying to prepare myself for anything...

 

The thing that sucked was that I thought she was "the one," to think that the girl of my dreams is no longer in my life does suck. I couldn't have anticipated her leaving, but I believe now choice is a far more significant factor than destiny. There is a fine line between preparing for anything and enjoying yourself though, make sure you enjoy yourself throughout the relationship and not worry about what can/could happen as you can think about it for years afterwards.

[todreaminblue]

This is all in your head. Based on nothing by dream's and fantasy. You know nothing about this girl, all you know is that you want her to be yours. Nothing, because it takes alot alot, longer to know someone.

 

Obsession, It happens to all of us.

 

You are filling in the blanks. You have to calm down. Cause you are placing her on a pedestal. This type of behavior can scare her away. It scared me, I think you wrote a small novel about how awesome she is.

 

It's unhealthy cause she is not perfect. And well there are a lot of things unhealthy about your obsession.

 

Just take a step back, try thinking of things not perfect about her.

 

There are 3 billion women on the planet...

 

 

i think obsession should have a new meaning considering i have ocd tendencies.......

 

OBSESSION...

 

passion used with diligence persistence and unnerving steadfastness, consuming desire to get it right....causes loss of appetite endless prayer and searching for the right way....can be used as a weight loss tool can give you peak alertness and physical fitness to endure to the end.deb