Mango88 Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Have met a man that i think i might like a relationship with but am abit worried i have rushed into things.I slept in his bed the first night i met him (but did not have sex) then have just spent a couple of days staying at his (did have sex 3X) It felt like natural progression,as everything else has kind of been moving quickly at the same aswell and since we live a fair way from each other it is kind of inevitable that we would be staying over each others pretty early on. I am just worried that i have given up too much too soon by not making him wait like so many people say you should when you want someone to commit long term.But then on the flip side of that i didn't want to play games for the sake of it when i genuinely wanted it to happen. He appears to be interested in something long term...he has talked about future meetings,has mentioned meeting my family/friends and wants me to meet his young son.He is also not just romantic in a sexual way...he instigates cuddling on the sofa,and repeatedly took my hand when we were out walking around.I also know he has a history of consistent long term relationships. I know every individual person/situation is different but would be interested to hear opinions...and if anyone has been in a similar situation but it has still led to a long term successful relationship? Jodie x
RebelWithoutACause Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 I slept in his bed the first night i met him (but did not have sex) then have just spent a couple of days staying at his (did have sex 3X) Jodie x Have you only known each other for 3 days?
Ruby Slippers Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Things can work with sex early on. It depends on the guy. Some won't judge you and put you in a certain category for having sex early - some will.
Feelin Frisky Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Fretting about the past leads to neurotic worries that bring on the demise of relationships. If you think it can work long-term and want that, mind your energies and keep them positive. That's where hope lies. I don't see that you did anything to regret. People can never know who their emotional investment is until time has dealt some cards and you get to see how they play theirs. Good luck and let go of what you can't undo. 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 My boyfriend and I spent the night together on date number 3. We literally had all of our dates one after another every day. We slept together on our 5th date, so only 2 nights of sleeping over before we finally couldn't hold back anymore. I haven't left since. 1
Author Mango88 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 I met him online.We started speaking a couple of weeks ago,exchanged a fair few messages and were getting on well so wanted to meet to see if we properly clicked.We went on our first date a week ago (that was the time i slept in his bed.This was NOT in any way the plan...in my opinion that is generally too far for a first date, but my car got clamped overnight and i did not have enough money on me for a hotel, so it was either sleeping at his or on the street!) I expect you are wondering why i had to sleep in his bed,but he didn't have a spare room or a spare duvet for the sofa (and i admit i fancied cosying upto him)
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 I met him online.We started speaking a couple of weeks ago,exchanged a fair few messages and were getting on well so wanted to meet to see if we properly clicked.We went on our first date a week ago (that was the time i slept in his bed.This was NOT in any way the plan...in my opinion that is generally too far for a first date, but my car got clamped overnight and i did not have enough money on me for a hotel, so it was either sleeping at his or on the street!) I expect you are wondering why i had to sleep in his bed,but he didn't have a spare room or a spare duvet for the sofa (and i admit i fancied cosying upto him) Honestly? Don't worry so much. With this relationship I am in I decided to just go all out. Why not? Sure, I could end up with a heartbreak... or I could end up with the best relationship ever... Which is what it is so far. Almost 4 months in now and we honestly have only spent 3 nights apart since. I had a hunch about him and I followed it, we both wanted something serious and we just got along so well. I wouldn't have wanted things to go any other way.
RebelWithoutACause Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Sex or no sex, 2 weeks is too early to tell is a relationship will work out. Besides, if it's the right peson the sexual timeframe is inconsequential. And if it's the wrong person it desn't matter anyway. 3
Feelin Frisky Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 I met him online.We started speaking a couple of weeks ago,exchanged a fair few messages and were getting on well so wanted to meet to see if we properly clicked.We went on our first date a week ago (that was the time i slept in his bed.This was NOT in any way the plan...in my opinion that is generally too far for a first date, but my car got clamped overnight and i did not have enough money on me for a hotel, so it was either sleeping at his or on the street!) I expect you are wondering why i had to sleep in his bed,but he didn't have a spare room or a spare duvet for the sofa (and i admit i fancied cosying upto him) I once dated someone twice--we made out but parted. Then it turns out she was invited to live with a g/f who was the young love interest of a retired ferry conductor. When I went to pick her up for another outing I encountered the old man's grown up kids mad as hell at him and kicking the girls out. They even threw some anger at me but I told them I just met her and she works in my building and I know nothing of this living arrangement. So they eased off of me but she had no where to go. I took her in for a week and we slept together in my bed but she was guarded about getting frisky. So, sometimes people cope and if they are decent, respect each other's boundaries. Someone else took her and her friend (both Columbian hotties trying to make it in NY) in a week later and I saw her on and off for a year where we went all the way several times. She turned out to not be trustworthy as a long-term g/f and I started seeing someone else. No need to justify sleeping in the same bed because of distance. At least you can let yourself off the hook for that.
TheGuard13 Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Of course things can still work out if you have sex early on. It just means you had sex early on.
2.50 a gallon Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Within 3 dates, with my lady, we have been together 17 years and counting
Eggplant Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 (edited) Yes, it could work. I think one reason the physical intimacy too early can cause problems is that the guy feels pressure to be too close emotionally after the sex and it's too soon for that and he freaks out and pulls away. He can't feel like he owes you anything, but rather he has to want to give in anticipation of getting. Play it very cool and don't expect anything, and remember that you don't know each other well. That way, he still feels excited and relaxed about pursuing you... This strategy has worked for me. (Males, let me know if I don't have a clue what I'm talking about.) Edited February 16, 2013 by Eggplant
GMG90 Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 It can still work out ... I had sex early on before I even felt the connection. So, either way really.
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