Boofhead Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 Sorry. posted in wrong forum earlier... I've been on a couple of dates recently with a guy I met whilst temping. Last week, a girl I used to work with at the same job, invited me out for drinks (the week I left I said I'd have to catch up for drinks sometime because I didn't have the opportunity to before I left). I told her that if it was staff drinks, I didn't want to come because I don't want to gatecrash (especially because I've been out on a couple of dates with a staff member). She gave me the impression that there would only be a few people, including some people who didn't work there. Anyway, there were a lot of staff there.... My problem now is that I'm worried that it now looks like I was making myself welcome amongst all his workmates. A few people from his work knew that the two of us were going out for drinks on my last day there. When they asked me how things were, I didn't tell them anything they didn't already know e.g. we went out for drinks and had a nice time. They didn't press for information, thankfully and I didn't bring him up in conversation. I'm just worried how this might all look from his point of view. I feel embarrassed because (a) I was led to believe that only a few people that I wanted to catch up with would be going; and (b) I found out that night that someone mentioned to him that I would be there, so from his point of view, it would appear that I knew it was staff drinks. He didn't go because he hasn't been well (and for all I know because he didn't want staff to hound him about me being there too...some of them can be a bit immature). He's had some pretty bad dating experiences in the past. We get along great and I don't want him to read into anything. Am I overreacting?
uriel Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 Yes . Don't mention it to him unless he asks. If he does, then explain what happened -- but don't apologize. You're allowed to go out for drinks with an old workmate without appearing to stalk him. If he's that paranoid, he's not ready for a new relationship (too damaged still). Take it easy. Your being nervous about such a small matter could very well spook him. -- uriel
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