Emmr8066 Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 I met this guy and we hit it off immediately. We agreed to hang out sometime but I forgot to leave him my number. I ran into him again about 2 weeks later. We exchanged numbers and spent a lot of time talking. The next morning I received a text from him asking if I had a man, was I looking for a fling, etc. He said he wasn’t meaning to pry, but that I just had him interested. I told him that I was content with my life, I didn’t have a guy and I don’t ever “look” for anything, but rather I just let whatever happen happen. He shared my view and said that he definitely wanted to get to know me. We hung out 2 more times and the second time I ended up spending the night. He invited me to crash in his room. He assured me that although us sleeping together was weird since we didn’t know each other too well, he wouldn’t do anything. After watching a movie there was a horrible tension in the air and he asked if he could kiss me. I was a little caught off guard but I said yes. He kissed me innocently and didn’t try to cop a feel or anything. He kissed me like this for a long time and I think I might have been the one that inadvertently initiated the sex, moving into him and kissing him harder. It just felt natural to me and sex ensued. After the sex, he caressed my neck and face a lot and we resumed our usual conversations of non-sexual content. He told me I was gorgeous and a sweet person, he said he felt like we were on the same level and he enjoyed spending time with me. I haven’t seen him since Wednesday morning. I received a text from him thanking me for the great night. This struck me as a strange thing to say, but I thanked him back. He’s been sending me texts with subtle sexual undertones although we do still talk about day to day stuff. I feel like he’s genuine, but I can’t help but feel like maybe he’s lost the original interest he had in me before the sex. I feel like I’m over analyzing things but sex is a delicate thing for me and I have a general distrust of men. I’ve been raped several times in my young life and most men I’ve been with were shallow and treated me like a blow up slut doll. I REALLY like this guy and I feel like I screwed up by sleeping with him. I want to continue getting to know him, but I’m afraid since he’s had sex with me that the chase is over and what else is there to know about me anymore at this point? It’s not like I expect commitment from him just because we’ve had sex, I’m not expecting him to ask me to be his girlfriend or whatever. I just really don’t want things to be all about sex now. He asked me if I wanted to go to the movies next week and also hinted he was up for a “round 2” if I was down for it. Should I stop worrying and go with the flow? Or does a guy generally lose respect for a girl once he’s bedded her? A part of me feels like he says nice things to me not because he really likes me, but wants more sex. I just want him to still see me as a person worth getting to know, not just a girl he can bang on a semi-regular basis. I don't know what to do.
CarrieT Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 I just really don’t want things to be all about sex now. He asked me if I wanted to go to the movies next week and also hinted he was up for a “round 2” if I was down for it. Should I stop worrying and go with the flow? Or does a guy generally lose respect for a girl once he’s bedded her? Too late - you want something he probably isn't ready to give if he is hinting for "round 2." He has lost respect and just wants more sex, despite the "little things" you find romantic or potentially relationship-building... 1
mammasita Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 You say you're not looking and whatever happens is ok, but I think you're kidding yourself. If that were truly the case, you wouldn't be worried about whether you slept with him too soon or not. 1
Nyla Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 The platonic sleepover is the oldest trick in the book. I know that because I believed men who said that in the past and we always ended up having sex. I became very wary of men who pushed the idea of me going to their homes right away. Once you're in a man's home, it is easier for them to put the moves on you-especially if you lie in bed with them. This man you slept with likely thinks of you as only a sex partner because he didn't have to work very hard to get sex and you told him that you weren't looking for a relationship. There is nothing wrong with wanting an emotional connection with sex, but be honest about your needs so that this doesn't happen again. Working on your boundaries and self esteem could also be helpful.
aliceb1987 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 The next morning I received a text from him asking if I had a man, was I looking for a fling, etc. To me,he wouldn't have asked this if he wanted more than sex with you.From what he sounds like,i doubt he is worrying about whether he slept with you too soon,and if he genuinely liked you it would not change his behaviour towards you in a negative way anyway.Do not chase or invest in him...as i think you would be putting yourself out to get hurt here if you did.
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