In court yesterday....

[NotCamelot]

Yesterday was the hearing for the TPOs we have against her AP.

 

We spent the night before getting our stuff together:threatening emails, police report, etc.

 

When we arrived at court he was already there. Alone. I thought he’d at least have his W with him, but no one was there forhim. We sat far away from him and he did not look our direction and she only stared forward.

 

We each had a TPO so there were 2 separate cases. The Judge called my W and him up as the next case. She explained that the next case in order was for me against the same person and asked that he hear them both together. The judge agreed and asked meto come up.

 

Since her case number was lower he told her to get up and tell her side. She was visibly shaking,standing 6 feet from the AP. She has been extremely pissed at him and despises everything about him since a week or so after D-Day. She had the police report and one of the emails with her. She told the court the AP was an “ex-boyfriend”. Under oath, I guess that was true because they were boyfriend/girlfriend 23 years ago. She told about the emails, reading one, the stalking and following of us on Jan. 23rd. 911 call and police responding. Then she said, “I am just tired of him bothering my husband and me and it’s time for it to stop. He has made threats to harm each of us in these emails. That’s why we called 911.”

 

Now, the judge told her to sit and, instead of letting me speak, he asked the AP to get up and tell his side. He admitted to the stalking! He told the judge that he wanted to talk tous. He told the judge that I had emailed him and that I had been telling his friends and his church things about him. The judge asked him if the things said were true. He responded that it didn’t matter. The judge told him that anyone could say what they wanted about him. If it was not true, he had the right to pursue a slander case, but, if it was true, he had better not waste the court’s time.

 

The judge said, “I’m telling you now; you leave these people alone. And ya’ll don’t bother him. I am giving you the opportunity now to sayanything you want.” The AP stood there and said nothing.

 

The judge then said the he saw reason based on the stalking event to continue the TOPs. He then told us we were all dismissed.

 

Two of the sheriff deputies in the courtroom were good friends of mine. As the AP turned toleave he stepped toward my W. One of the deputies stepped right beside her and blocked him and told him, “You need to leave.” After he walked out, we sat down in the gallery to wait for him to be gone.

 

My wife reached over and took my hand and said, “I loveyou. Do you feel better now.” I teared up and said, “Yes, I do. Thank you. I love you.”

 

After 15 minutes, we got up to leave and when we opened the door the AP was standing there. One of my deputy friends quickly came over and took him off to one side. The judge saw this and asked us if we wanted to use his back way out. We did and left.

 

We spent the rest of Valentine’s Day enjoying each other and a day off work.

 

Later in the day while sitting in a restaurant, she looked me in the eye and said, “I am very sorry you had to go through this. I love you. No one can hurt us anymore. From now on we can just love each other and be happy.”

 

I told her I didn’t think we’d ever see or hear from him again. She said, “Maybe, but if he does,I will put a bullet in his azz. So I kind of hope he does.”

 

So it ended up being a great day.

 

After seeing how physically upset she was, I know there has been nothing since D-day……just as she says. I also know she despises him, just as she says.

 

If he had anything to tell me, he had a chance. He is just pissed that I exposed him to all his friends and his church – where he is “holier than thou”. Now they all know what he is…….and there’s nothing he can do about it.

 

I got my revenge on him. It feels great knowing I caused him pain……because he did not care how he was hurting the husband of a married woman. You all know my story of how I feel about this so I won’t go into it again. But revenge is sweet.

 

And it is really great to be in love with my wife and she with me. Marriage vows are easily broken. We trust that we will never hurt each other ever again. We said that 20 years ago too. But after this fiasco, I think we both know now what we have and won’t ever risk it again.

[BetrayedH]

No he didn't. Every chance he tried to talk to you, you got a deputy to step in and re-route you away from him.

 

I gotta say that this was the thing I thought from reading your post, too. I don't see what would have been wrong with one interjection, "Um, Your Honor, can I ask something? I'd really like to hear what he had to say so we can get it over with here." Instead, it seems like you avoided that at every opportunity.

 

I also don't see why you're confident it's over since he kept trying to pursue you even there.

 

But it's your life, brother. If you're happy, so be it. My fingers are crossed for you.

[NotCamelot]

No he didn't. Every chance he tried to talk to you, you got a deputy to step in and re-route you away from him. An open court - in front of a judge - is NOT where he wanted to tell you whatever private information it is he still wants to tell you.

 

Actually, it was not ME that stopped him from anything. I simply sat there, as instructed by the judge, and let things unfold.

 

My wife had made the plea to the judge. She told the judge and presented the threatening emails, directed at her and me. So, obviously deputies would prevent him (AP) from making physical contact. They simply did their job without an interaction from me.

[NotCamelot]

I gotta say that this was the thing I thought from reading your post, too. I don't see what would have been wrong with one interjection, "Um, Your Honor, can I ask something? I'd really like to hear what he had to say so we can get it over with here." Instead, it seems like you avoided that at every opportunity.

 

I also don't see why you're confident it's over since he kept trying to pursue you even there.

 

But it's your life, brother. If you're happy, so be it. My fingers are crossed for you.

 

The AP has had plenty of opportunity to say anything to me he wants. He CHOOSES not.

 

At the point he was standing, the judge had already told me and my wife not to speak. The AP said nothing, by choice.

[NotCamelot]

 

But it's your life, brother. If you're happy, so be it. My fingers are crossed for you.

 

Thanks, I finally am in a good place. The extreme disgust toward him displayed by my W was, in fact, genuine. She tried he best to NOT show it, especially in front of the judge. But, after 23 years, I know her very well. It was real and it helped me a lot.

[NotCamelot]

I think the judge did exactly the right things. If there was ever going 2 be an oppor2nity for the OM 2 say whatever he wanted 2, that was it. Never again.

 

He chose 2 keep his mouth shut.

 

That should be the end, if he's not absolutely s2pid. If he is, and he keeps on, the penalties won't be so light.

 

-ol' 2long

 

 

Absolutely! He CHOSE to say nothing. All the opportunity in the world and nothing came out.

 

And the judge admonished him that it will be an automatic felony if he breaks the TPO.

[NotCamelot]

No. He did not attempt to say anything to either of us, even when he had the opportunity.

 

We don't know why he was waiting outside the courtroom. When the two of us walked out he just stood there. We paused for a good 10-15 seconds before we went back in. In those few seconds he never made a sound. No attempt to talk to either of us.

 

He had made threats of bodily harm toward my W and me. So that is really all we can think he may have had in mind.

 

And I really wish he had made that kind of move as he be in jail now.....for a while anyway.