lakerman34 Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 (edited) So, for those who don't know, I'm in South Africa. I was into this girl back at home, but she basically told me about a week ago that it isn't going to happen. Anyway, there is this girl in the group in South Africa. She's cute, and I pick on her like it's my job. Long story short, it's VERY obvious she likes me. Then two nights ago, I invite her to my apartment. We were going to join up with a bunch of other people to go to a bar (but I had every intention of staying in with her). She ended up bringing a friend, but after drinking a little, the girl dismissed herself, so it was just me and her. Well, things got intimate. I was playing with her hair, rubbing her neck, back, and shoulders (she was wearing one of those shirts that is breast down). She's basically sitting in my lap. She told me she sort of has a boyfriend in the States, but they kind of separated because she wanted to be single in South Africa (she's here for about five months), and was willing to hook up with someone if the situation was right (I'm thinking BOOM right now. She's being rather obvious). Then, my roommates come in. They knew that me and this girl were going to happen. They hung out for a while, but then the one went to his room (smart one) and the dumbass one stayed out. So any more escalation pretty much died, but I told her before she left "if you ever need another grooming session, let me know," and she said "I might take you up on that tomorrow." She left a bottle of unopened wine in my apartment, which may have just been an oversight, but I have a feeling it's a "I want a reason to come back to your room." Last night, me, my roommates, a couple of girls and her go out to dinner. Right away I sort of sense her distancing herself from me. At dinner, she didn't sit next to me, but we did share an appetizer, and I took a sip of her drink. Thing is, another one of the girls is a bro to me, and I was "flirting" with her too (in a way that you would "flirt" with one of your close girl friends). When we got back to the apartments, I put my arm around her, and she pretty much told me to stop and said "I hate when you poke me and do this and that, just stop." (Something along those lines). She wasn't stern about it or anything like that. I'm just looking for a FWB with her. Nothing more. I don't want to date her, and I don't want it to be anything more than hooking up from time to time. I think this is reasonable to ask for, and I'm guessing she'd want the same thing. What do I do now? My dumbass roommate (I call him a dumbass because he is a, well, dumbass) tells me that I shouldn't let it bother me. He's KINDA right, but from talking to him, I can tell that ANY "success" he's had with girls is fabricated....the girl he is after has SO obviously friendzoned him. He LITERALLY said to the girl he liked and is trying to get with "I'm such a vagina." SUCH game. Anyway, how should I proceed with this? Flirt? Stay away? Friendzone her and risk getting friendzoned in return? Find another girl? I was hoping there would be a 'hookup' section in this forum, but alas, there is not. Edited February 15, 2013 by lakerman34
RebelWithoutACause Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Are you the same guy who went to bed with a girl, got her naked and then refused to sleep with her in order to prove how much he liked her? Ouch, thats's not how you do it, at all! Anyways, I'm not surprised this new girl is distancing herself. You sound a bit clueless, you need some lessons on how to treat the ladies.
Author lakerman34 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 Are you the same guy who went to bed with a girl, got her naked and then refused to sleep with her in order to prove how much he liked her? Ouch, thats's not how you do it, at all! Anyways, I'm not surprised this new girl is distancing herself. You sound a bit clueless, you need some lessons on how to treat the ladies. that was me, but that girls history. i treat this girl well, but i was careful to let her know (thru my action) that i will NOT be friendzoned
sid3 Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 that was me, but that girls history. We already knew that last week, you just didn't want to listen.
Author lakerman34 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 We already knew that last week, you just didn't want to listen. It had nothing to do with not having sex, other things happened since. Lets focus on the question at hand, please?
sid3 Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 It had nothing to do with not having sex, other things happened since. Lets focus on the question at hand, please? Ok, I'll try and stay focused. Sounds to me she wasn't as keen on you when she hadn't been drinking. Her leaving an unopened bottle of wine at your place doesn't necessarily mean what you're hoping it does.
Author lakerman34 Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 (edited) Ok, I'll try and stay focused. Sounds to me she wasn't as keen on you when she hadn't been drinking. Her leaving an unopened bottle of wine at your place doesn't necessarily mean what you're hoping it does. that's fair enough. however, even the days leading up to when i had her in my room, it was quite obvious she liked me. she bought me a beer without my asking at a bar and hung out with me all night last saturday night. she's rather obvious. another theory is her parents are coming to visit her on holiday. perhaps she doesnt want any guys in the picture quite yet as her parents come to visit? that means i'll have to wait a week. Edited February 16, 2013 by lakerman34
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