helena_bloom Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 hi my ex and i broke up because he decided to work harder and hasn't left much time for me. every time i tried to talk to him about that he answered "we have solved that,there's nothing to talk about,i'll try to find more time but i can't promise now" but i realized situation won't get better. i suggest we should break up if we cannot find any compromise,but he didn't want to talk about break up at all.finally he agreed and we broke up 2 weeks ago.i said we shouldn't have any contact,possibly once a month..he contacted me few days later, twice ,like "hey what's up" and i acted cold because i don't want to have depleted talks, i mean..we are together or we don't.black or white. have you ever been in similar situation? and men, what would you do and how would you feel..? or maybe i should text him first and make first major step? please help
destroyed4sho Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 hi my ex and i broke up because he decided to work harder and hasn't left much time for me. every time i tried to talk to him about that he answered "we have solved that,there's nothing to talk about,i'll try to find more time but i can't promise now" but i realized situation won't get better. i suggest we should break up if we cannot find any compromise,but he didn't want to talk about break up at all.finally he agreed and we broke up 2 weeks ago.i said we shouldn't have any contact,possibly once a month..he contacted me few days later, twice ,like "hey what's up" and i acted cold because i don't want to have depleted talks, i mean..we are together or we don't.black or white. have you ever been in similar situation? and men, what would you do and how would you feel..? or maybe i should text him first and make first major step? please help ITS OVER. He broke it off. He texted you because he is in the dumpers stage of being insecure about his decision. The more you grovel and respond back the more he will be sure of his decision. Dumpers also contact because they wants to be friends with you to fill a certain VOID/need that you supplied while you were with him. (sex, a friend, attentions, etc) He does not want you back!! Go NC.
stevie_23 Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 You say he ended the relationship because he decided to work harder and this didn't leave much time for you? I am inclined to say that the REAL reason he ended things was because his feelings for you have changed and now you are simply not his top priority anymore. If he was still in love with you, it wouldn't matter how hard he decided to work, he would STILL find the time to be with you, no matter what. The fact he refused to even talk about your feelings and the problems you had in the relationship shows he was not willing to be what YOU needed. It seems he was not only unable to give you adequate time as his girlfriend, but also unable to give you any of his emotional openness or intimacy either. 2
daylight Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 I'm not trying to be mean here but as a guy who's done something similar like this a billion times there is usually a very obvious explanation for it. He most likely doesn't care enough about you. When he says that he's to busy working or trying to focus on his career. That's pretty much bull**** and an excuse to keep you at a distance so he can do whatever it that he wants to do. If he contacts you at all after that, it may be because he needs something or wants something from you. Be that sex or maybe he's just lonely and has nobody to talk to you. I don't know enough about you or him to say definitively whether he cares about you or if he just needs some space. When I really like a woman, I always want to see her. I'll make excuses just to see her. I may spend time apart from her but I'll still make time for her no matter how busy I am. Nobody's work is so crazy that they can't make time for their significant other. 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 hi my ex and i broke up because he decided to work harder and hasn't left much time for me. every time i tried to talk to him about that he answered "we have solved that,there's nothing to talk about,i'll try to find more time but i can't promise now" but i realized situation won't get better. i suggest we should break up if we cannot find any compromise,but he didn't want to talk about break up at all.finally he agreed and we broke up 2 weeks ago.i said we shouldn't have any contact,possibly once a month..he contacted me few days later, twice ,like "hey what's up" and i acted cold because i don't want to have depleted talks, i mean..we are together or we don't.black or white. have you ever been in similar situation? and men, what would you do and how would you feel..? or maybe i should text him first and make first major step? please help Your thoughts about maintaining No Contact are spot on. Do not respond, reply or react to any further communication, EVER. At. All. Read the guide in my signature. Your instincts are correct.
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