sillyanswer Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 3 months seems like a long time to wait to find out if there's any sexual compatibility.
Author MyPoutine Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 It has worked just fine for me. Then again I lost my virginity at 24 and I've only had 1 sexual partner so you do trade experience. Also restraint has nothing to do with sexual desire, I can "take care of myself" during that time while we focus on actually getting to know each other and seeing if we are compatible. Someone said they'd wait that long then increase the time, that's not a problem at all for me personally as long as it doesn't drag out forever because then I'd wonder if there is a problem or if they are asexual. And to answer another question, I mean 3 months post exclusivity not 3 months from the time you met. I do agree that culture may play a part in this, honestly though I find it has worked for me. I never actually declare it unless they ask (usually by a month I start to get questions) and either they will stay and try to "change my mind" or bail. Better than being "pumped and dumped" I think
ScreamingTrees Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Rules are lame, and following rules, even your own, is for pansies. Why limit yourself? Takes more balls and guts to have self discipline, I think. I don't think all rules are lame, just a great deal of stupid ones.. Not following any rules is for guys who look forward to getting pounded in the ass in prison cells. Or rogues in medieval times..
Author MyPoutine Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 To respond to the "a guy can keep you around while seeing other women and just do you at 3 months" Firstly other factors come to play as well and one of them is how much investment a guy puts in the relationship as you go along. Just "being there" for 3 months isn't enough, the relationship has to feel real. Also unless you have a magical gold plated star-dust emitting pussy most players won't wait for that long just to pump you. There are plenty of other people around who are easier and more experienced. "Be the woman that someone will want to commit to" I've never understood this statement as that varies from guy to guy, I do agree with respecting yourself regardless of gender
Author MyPoutine Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 I'm not sure about a fixed number of 3 months - but I agree that it's better to wait a while if you want love, rather than just sex. The few times in my life I've had sex fast was when I pretty much knew it wasn't going anywhere, and that was because I was cynical, lazy, lonely, and hardly even trying. I'm going to try something different this time around. I'm going to go on dates with anybody I want to, and not get sexual at all. I'm going to date just to get to know people and see if there's a connection worth pursuing. I'll only focus on one and possibly get physical with him if I see real potential. By the way, this has nothing to do with my sex drive. I love sex and am always up for it. I'm just trying to be smarter this time. This is exactly the point, wait and watch instead of jumping and regretting. Good luck on your new dating formula
SJC2008 Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 I don't beieive you, not after seeing your avatar!
Eggplant Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 My rules are old schoolish, but I respect what everybody chooses to do. For me: Until he's asked you to be in a committed relationship, keep meeting new people. Don't have sex until you're so in love that it would still be worth it even if he did leave you the next day. Have sex based on the emotions you feel about the relationship up until that point, never in anticipation of future love and commitment yet to be received. Don't live together until you're engaged, because you must be able to easily break off a relationship when you know it's not right anymore. 2
sillyanswer Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 It has worked just fine for me. Then again I lost my virginity at 24 and I've only had 1 sexual partner so you do trade experience. Personal rules that work for you are the best kind, so if you're happy with it and it's working then stick with it.
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