Do many women have inflated views on their Attractiveness?

[ShannonMI]

This may have been discussed many times. But I just see stories of "average girls" who constantly claim they can't find a decent guy even though all her female friends and family members tell her how pretty and attractive she is.

 

I'll see the pictures and the girl might have nice eyes but generally their faces are average/unattractive. Yet, these average girls are trying to find Mr Handsome; and they might be able to sleep with a Hot Alpha Player for one night, but they won't be able to keep a steady alpha boyfriend.

 

I don't know what the answer is except not listening to your friends; and dating more average/unattractive men. I just think that if a girl is that "Hot and Attractive" there will be a guy out there willing to marry her, unless her personality is too annoying. I just think that because even "average looking girls" can get hit on a lot, they just have an inflated ego on their attractiveness to men.

Or they live in an area where there are no good looking, single men to be found. Like me. I have college kids and hill billies. Makes dating really tough.

[xxoo]

Besides, what I think is the case is that some women are "pretty enough to date short term," but not "super pretty enough to want to keep around for a long term marriage" from what the guy is thinking.

 

For a lot of people, the more you know and care about someone, the more beautiful they appear

 

I doubt "pretty" is the primary issue in the case of not desiring to marry.

[Apolodor]

My answer was in the context of the question posed by the OP, I am not implying that all women are like that. You must be very young or inexperienced to think that the majority of women in bars want a relationship after. Many of them go there and get drunk in order to have an excuse the morning after the night before. In my experience I have met a fair share of women who preferred to have a short-lived fling with one of those Alpha males rather than be in a serious relationship with me. It's about time you take women off the pedestal, they are not as different from you and me as you currently think.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I think "feeling pretty" and "actually being pretty" are 2 separate things.

Is that sort of like "feeling smart" and "failing a standardized test"?

 

Your idea of pretty and someone else's own idea of pretty, especially in regards to themselves, are 2 seperate things.

 

It's like your bitter that a woman might think she is pretty when you don't think she is.

 

 

Besides, what I think is the case is that some women are "pretty enough to date short term," but not "super pretty enough to want to keep around for a long term marriage" from what the guy is thinking.

 

We get it. To you and a lot of men by your estimation, all women are worth are their looks. You get to decide if a woman is pretty or not and you get to say who she should be dating. Women shouldn't like their own looks or think of themselves as pretty if *you* don't think they are. And if they do, they are the ignorant ones while you hold all opinions of women to be 100% correct. It's women that need to work on themselves, not you. Did I cover everything? Great.

[Archgirl]

i'll bring the acid. its even more disinfecting.

 

That's really disturbing. Are you implying you'd like to shower me with acid?

[Archgirl]

Your idea of pretty and someone else's own idea of pretty, especially in regards to themselves, are 2 seperate things.

 

It's like your bitter that a woman might think she is pretty when you don't think she is.

 

 

 

 

We get it. To you and a lot of men by your estimation, all women are worth are their looks. You get to decide if a woman is pretty or not and you get to say who she should be dating. Women shouldn't like their own looks or think of themselves as pretty if *you* don't think they are. And if they do, they are the ignorant ones while you hold all opinions of women to be 100% correct. It's women that need to work on themselves, not you. Did I cover everything? Great.

 

And whatever you do, don't ever be proud of yourself or confident, or ever judge men based solely on their looks and sexual abilities. Pffft!

[jcrew11]

I'm saying that a woman "being told by friends that she is pretty" does not actually mean she is pretty in the eyes of single men who may or may not want to date her. If she decides she wants to appeal to the men who reject her, then she would need to improve her looks and work on her personality, because obviously her looks are going to win anyone over, so she needs to have a good personality.

 

She may feel pretty herself, but that does not automatically mean every guy on the street will agree with her self-assessment.

 

Being confident helps, but confidence can come separately from "being called pretty or not pretty."

 

Your idea of pretty and someone else's own idea of pretty, especially in regards to themselves, are 2 seperate things.

 

It's like your bitter that a woman might think she is pretty when you don't think she is.

 

We get it. To you and a lot of men by your estimation, all women are worth are their looks. You get to decide if a woman is pretty or not and you get to say who she should be dating. Women shouldn't like their own looks or think of themselves as pretty if *you* don't think they are. And if they do, they are the ignorant ones while you hold all opinions of women to be 100% correct. It's women that need to work on themselves, not you. Did I cover everything? Great.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

We get it Jcrew, you don't like women that think they are pretty when you or other men might not think they are pretty.

 

Maybe it's time to worry more about what areas you need to fix in yourself because you really aren't doing anything to help anyone in this thread.

[jcrew11]

Not really, women need to stop with their obsession with beauty. A woman who knows she is ugly, can at least try to do things to improve her beauty.

 

But I think there are some women who just think "being pretty" is enough to get a boyfriend.

 

But to really keep a husband, a woman has to have a decent personality, and reasonable expectations of the man she can get. My point is that some women chase after guys for decades; without realizing they are not as "hot" as they think they are and its and exercise in futility.

 

I feel that perhaps women throw around the "pretty label" too easily and its lost its meaning because there are no standards.

 

Or perhaps differentiate between a "woman being pretty" and "a woman who is attractive to men."

 

I understand your Feminist viewpoint that "All women are Beautiful on the Outside and Inside" slogan.

 

My point from the "dating world" is that "there are some women who really aren't that attractive to men."

 

We get it Jcrew, you don't like women that think they are pretty when you or other men might not think they are pretty.

 

Maybe it's time to worry more about what areas you need to fix in yourself because you really aren't doing anything to help anyone in this thread.

[ltjg45]

And whatever you do, don't ever be proud of yourself or confident, or ever judge men based solely on their looks and sexual abilities. Pffft!

 

You can judge me all day every day.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Not really, women need to stop with their obsession with beauty. A woman who knows she is ugly, can at least try to do things to improve her beauty.

 

But I think there are some women who just think "being pretty" is enough to get a boyfriend.

 

But to really keep a husband, a woman has to have a decent personality, and reasonable expectations of the man she can get. My point is that some women chase after guys for decades; without realizing they are not as "hot" as they think they are and its and exercise in futility.

 

I feel that perhaps women throw around the "pretty label" too easily and its lost its meaning because there are no standards.

 

Or perhaps differentiate between a "woman being pretty" and "a woman who is attractive to men."

 

I understand your Feminist viewpoint that "All women are Beautiful on the Outside and Inside" slogan.

 

My point from the "dating world" is that "there are some women who really aren't that attractive to men."

 

 

 

You need to stop.

You are making men look bad.

[rocketman122]

I love that you bring your women up rocketman. I once dated a man who was telling me how beautiful I am ALL the time. My confidence increased so much and I was never happier. Too bad we didn't have enough in common to work.

 

As for Facebook, for some reason I never get comments from women telling me I am pretty. Usually men like my pictures and sometimes make flirty comments.....

 

Oh, sorry passed this by with the "I can sleep with any guy" comment. Thanks ES, Yes, all the time. I love to make her feel good. but machoistic azzholes dont do this because they think it makes them look weak. they want her to not feel good about herself and thats how they keep close and thinking twice if she can find someone better. I have confidence in myself and I see that when I give her attention and love she wants more and more. her ex husband was the one who always brought her down.

 

they dont compliment or put in a good word but I think when she's happy, she will want to make you happy. but you have to show it as well. touching caressing always to strengthen what I say. the power of touch is amazing. when I touch her I can hear her breathe deep and shes so relaxed. I love that.

 

sorry it didnt work for you with the guy. there are some good women here who deserve a guy to give them what they need. dont focus only on money though. you know what I mean.

 

youre right about facebook. guys with their funny tactless comments. or the lovy dovy couples with their love comments to each other that makes you want to puke. youre very perceptive.

[KungFuJoe]

You need to stop.

You are making men look bad.

 

He's just making himself look bad.

[Els]

I'm saying that a woman "being told by friends that she is pretty" does not actually mean she is pretty in the eyes of single men who may or may not want to date her. If she decides she wants to appeal to the men who reject her, then she would need to improve her looks and work on her personality, because obviously her looks are going to win anyone over, so she needs to have a good personality.

 

She may feel pretty herself, but that does not automatically mean every guy on the street will agree with her self-assessment.

 

Being confident helps, but confidence can come separately from "being called pretty or not pretty."

 

You do realize that the bolded applies to every single person on the face of the earth. There is no one person, male or female, whom every single person of the opposite sex will find attractive. Not even Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie. Sorry to burst your bubble.

 

Secondly, I'm curious what concern, exactly, spurred you on to make this post. Are you by any chance concerned about all the, uh, ladies you've had to reject, who thought they were pretty because other people called them pretty? Well, don't worry about them. They probably met other men who like them better than you do, and are likely treating them better as well.

 

Or are you concerned about the single women on LS, that prompted you to post here? I don't think you need to worry about them, hon, they seem a much happier bunch than you, with very few exceptions.

 

How about you redirect some of that concern to yourself? It's really, ah, noble of you to extend so much concern to the poor deluded women of this world, but right about now I think you need it more than anyone else here.

[Woggle]

There is nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself and being proud as long as you don't try to put down others in order to bring yourself up.

[Archgirl]

I thought your avatar was something from a movie, but I just looked at your pics and you are pretty. im confused here. why the issue? youre a pretty girl. its obvious. and a male telling you should be worth much more than a female on facebook. I dont need someone to tell me im good looking and you shouldnt either. must be because of the built in competition for beauty between women.

 

I just read your other post. I see the issue. you date these guys who keep you donw by not making you feel good. I dont do that. like I said, I bring my woman up. I always make them stronger. QUOTE]

 

You know what, i'm really sorry Rocketman, I missed something major the last time I responded to this.

While I'm still annoyed that you didn't understand what we were arguing with you for and thought it was because I was being put down by some dude about my looks...but well, the fact that you tried to help make me feel better and gave me some genuine compliments is really sweet and thoughtful. Thanks

But I don't know if you've noticed, I'm pretty bloody strong already so maybe you better not give me too many more - who knows where it could end

Edited February 17, 2013 by Archgirl

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Not really, women need to stop with their obsession with beauty. A woman who knows she is ugly, can at least try to do things to improve her beauty.

 

 

Do you even see how contridictory your advice is? Women need to stop their obession with beauty but plain women should try to do things to improve their beauty? Which is it. Do we worry about our looks or don't we. Or we should only worry about our looks to the point that you have set for all womankind?

 

 

But I think there are some women who just think "being pretty" is enough to get a boyfriend.

 

I'd agree with this. Usually these are younger inexperienced women that grow up in a culture that only highlights their level of attractiveness. Not their intelligence, not their sweetness, not their good hearts..... They grow up around young men (and I'm not blaming young men because young men got their own issues to contend with and have also been surrounded by our culture) where they look at porn and Maxim and Playboy regularly.

 

Just look at this message board. Once in a while a thread is started about things men like about women other than looks. But most of the time the threads are about what men like look-wise in women. Where regular average joes come running in to post their downloaded photos of celebrities of professionally done photos.

 

Maybe YOU and other men need to spend more time thinking about how much you focus on beauty and looks in women instead of sitting behind your computer on your high horse dictating to women what they need to change.

 

But to really keep a husband, a woman has to have a decent personality, and reasonable expectations of the man she can get. My point is that some women chase after guys for decades; without realizing they are not as "hot" as they think they are and its and exercise in futility.

 

 

We get it. You don't like that women think they are pretty. Seriously, there is no need for you to keep reposting your point. You hold a special place of hate in your heart for women that consider themselves attractive when you don't.

 

I feel that perhaps women throw around the "pretty label" too easily and its lost its meaning because there are no standards.

 

Or perhaps differentiate between a "woman being pretty" and "a woman who is attractive to men."

 

So let me get this straight. Women need to focus less on beauty and their own looks but we should set up a standard of focus on how men instead judge women's looks. Yeah! That sounds great! Thanks for your over-whelming lack of kindness or grace toward women!

 

I understand your Feminist viewpoint that "All women are Beautiful on the Outside and Inside" slogan.

 

My point from the "dating world" is that "there are some women who really aren't that attractive to men."

 

A) Don't pull that reverse pyschology "feminist" stuff with me to mock my opinion. My opinion has nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with common decency.

 

B) It's obvious you haven't read anything I said because I remember distinctly saying it was perfectly okay for YOU to not find a woman attractive. What is not okay for you to have the audacity to attempt to shame women that think they are beautiful despite what *you* of all people think. My opinion has nothing to do with "all women are beautiful inside and out". They aren't. And the fact that you chalked my opinion up to this shows how much you don't listen to what you are reading.

 

It doesn't matter if you don't think a woman is beautiful and she does. She is totally allowed to feel good about herself despite your or other men's opinions. I think what you really want is to live in a world where men get to say where women belong, even when it comes to their looks. To which you claim that women should focus less on.... When that is all you are focusing on. Ironic.

[Woggle]

I do agree that if a woman wants a quality man who has something going being physically attractive is not enough. I don't know any self respecting and intelligent men that would put up with an awful personality just because a woman is hot.

[rocketman122]

I thought your avatar was something from a movie, but I just looked at your pics and you are pretty. im confused here. why the issue? youre a pretty girl. its obvious. and a male telling you should be worth much more than a female on facebook. I dont need someone to tell me im good looking and you shouldnt either. must be because of the built in competition for beauty between women.

 

I just read your other post. I see the issue. you date these guys who keep you donw by not making you feel good. I dont do that. like I said, I bring my woman up. I always make them stronger.

 

You know what, i'm really sorry Rocketman, I missed something major the last time I responded to this.

While I'm still annoyed that you didn't understand what we were arguing with you for and thought it was because I was being put down by some dude about my looks...but well, the fact that you tried to help make me feel better and gave me some genuine compliments is really sweet and thoughtful. Thanks

But I don't know if you've noticed, I'm pretty bloody strong already so maybe you better not give me too many more - who knows where it could end

 

no need to be. I laughed at your comments. I didnt want to add haha at the end because when my GF gets mad at me and goes psycho I laugh in her face and it makes her more mad. I cant help she looks cute (and it turns me on a bit HAHA) then I laugh even harder. no no didnt bother me. its why I didnt replay after. I was making things worse. you are a pretty girl though. and yes, some tough chickies on this site. very strong willed and opinionated. you bad girl HAHA

Edited February 17, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Taramere]

For the people who start these threads, confidence in others is the enemy. If only that person they think is about on their level physically had less self confidence, perhaps they'd score with them. What they're not prepared to do is raise themselves up to the level that other person is reaching for by building up their own confidence, so that they don't have to rely (in terms of getting what they want) on other people having low self esteem.

Edited February 17, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed quote

[KungFuJoe]

Well, I stand by my original assessment that op probably considers these women on the same "level" as him and probably has interest, but they think they are too good for him (and most likely are) and he's bitter about it.

[jcrew11]

Secondly, I'm curious what concern, exactly, spurred you on to make this post. Are you by any chance concerned about all the, uh, ladies you've had to reject, who thought they were pretty because other people called them pretty? Well, don't worry about them. They probably met other men who like them better than you do, and are likely treating them better as well.

Well, it seems that I've brought up a rather "sensitive topic" for women - their sense of self esteem tied to their looks.

 

As I stated before, I brought this topic up because I see a lot of stories where women say "Everyone tells me I'm pretty, but I can't find a boyfriend."

 

So if she really is having trouble finding a boyfriend then:

(1) She probably isn't as pretty to men, and all her friends are just being nice.

(2) She is pretty, but has a terrible personality.

 

But I also wanted to point out how "women perpetuate this focus on superficiality with other women" by quickly complementing each other as pretty - but you don't see as often women supporting each other for being smart.

[jcrew11]

Well if a woman thinks she is pretty but is not, There may or may not be things that she could do to improve her looks, but i'm not a cosmetologist so I don't really know what she could do, perhaps wear more makeup or dye her hair color. At least if a woman knows she's average looking, she can at least take steps to improve herself if that is what she wanted.

 

You seem to define being "pretty" as an internal emotion. If you want to define it that way then go ahead. I'm sure a lot of guys feel the same way that they are "internally good looking" despite what other people think. It has nothing to do with being delusional or unrealistic.

 

Do you even see how contridictory your advice is? Women need to stop their obession with beauty but plain women should try to do things to improve their beauty? Which is it. Do we worry about our looks or don't we. Or we should only worry about our looks to the point that you have set for all womankind?

 

I'd agree with this. Usually these are younger inexperienced women that grow up in a culture that only highlights their level of attractiveness. Not their intelligence, not their sweetness, not their good hearts..... They grow up around young men (and I'm not blaming young men because young men got their own issues to contend with and have also been surrounded by our culture) where they look at porn and Maxim and Playboy regularly.

 

Just look at this message board. Once in a while a thread is started about things men like about women other than looks. But most of the time the threads are about what men like look-wise in women. Where regular average joes come running in to post their downloaded photos of celebrities of professionally done photos.

 

Maybe YOU and other men need to spend more time thinking about how much you focus on beauty and looks in women instead of sitting behind your computer on your high horse dictating to women what they need to change.

 

 

 

 

We get it. You don't like that women think they are pretty. Seriously, there is no need for you to keep reposting your point. You hold a special place of hate in your heart for women that consider themselves attractive when you don't.

 

 

 

So let me get this straight. Women need to focus less on beauty and their own looks but we should set up a standard of focus on how men instead judge women's looks. Yeah! That sounds great! Thanks for your over-whelming lack of kindness or grace toward women!

 

 

 

A) Don't pull that reverse pyschology "feminist" stuff with me to mock my opinion. My opinion has nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with common decency.

 

B) It's obvious you haven't read anything I said because I remember distinctly saying it was perfectly okay for YOU to not find a woman attractive. What is not okay for you to have the audacity to attempt to shame women that think they are beautiful despite what *you* of all people think. My opinion has nothing to do with "all women are beautiful inside and out". They aren't. And the fact that you chalked my opinion up to this shows how much you don't listen to what you are reading.

 

It doesn't matter if you don't think a woman is beautiful and she does. She is totally allowed to feel good about herself despite your or other men's opinions. I think what you really want is to live in a world where men get to say where women belong, even when it comes to their looks. To which you claim that women should focus less on.... When that is all you are focusing on. Ironic.

[jcrew11]

For the people who start these threads, confidence in others is the enemy. If only that person they think is about on their level physically had less self confidence, perhaps they'd score with them. What they're not prepared to do is raise themselves up to the level that other person is reaching for by building up their own confidence, so that they don't have to rely (in terms of getting what they want) on other people having low self esteem.

 

Well what if both "ugly" people are confident but are seeking a boyfriend or girlfriend based on looks, and rejecting other ugly singles they don't deem pretty enough.

 

My point is some people get a BIG Ego that they have unrealistic dating expectations, and then they complain when they can't find any Quality men or women.

[jcrew11]

Well, I stand by my original assessment that op probably considers these women on the same "level" as him and probably has interest, but they think they are too good for him (and most likely are) and he's bitter about it.

 

That's not the case, as I mentioned before, I see articles and posts all the time where women say "Everyone tells me I'm pretty but I can't find a boyfriend."