Do many women have inflated views on their Attractiveness?

[Woggle]

People who are used to other people kissing their butts in general male or female tend to have huge egos. When very few people say no to you you really do tend to start to believe you are all that.

[TheGuard13]

If you have an active facebook account, then you know that anytime a woman posts a 'self-shot' of herself then 5 female friends will chime in and tell her how hot, pretty, and beautiful she looks. If she is a girly-girl type or at least hangs out with such types, then that number will go up fourfold and a bunch of males will coat her in compliments too.

 

Heh. It's funny because it's true.

[Lonely Ronin]

Right. And somebody who doesn't overanalyze just dated based on happiness would never worry about societal standards such as dating up and dating down, right?

 

not never, but they reach a point where they just stop caring what society thinks.

[2.50 a gallon]

One of the shocks of my college days was finding out that many of the prettiest gals on campus, including the home coming queen and half the cheer line were dateless on most Saturday nights. The reason being most guys didn't have the balls to talk to them and ask them out

 

I lot of good looking women that I have known over my life time have the same attitude as my current GF. I know I am biased, but I think she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. She will be turning the big 60 next year, but still has an hour glass figure, weighs around 110 pounds, great legs, flat stomach, and a beautiful face of a 40 year old. She honestly does not have a clue how attractive she is.

 

Her attitude is so what?

 

And why do guys always have to talk to my boobs?

[jcrew11]

So again, if a woman has an inflated ego AND unrealistic dating expectations, why is that so offensive? Is it because she wouldn't date YOU (general you, not you specifically, jcrew) and she isn't even that hot?

 

So it all comes back to your feelings about yourself.

 

Its just offensive and annoying when she complains that she can't find any high-quality men to date.

 

But I personally don't care and don't have a problem meeting women. I was merely stating an observation about some women, and how they don't have realistic views on their Dating Options.

[KungFuJoe]

Its just offensive and annoying when she complains that she can't find any high-quality men to date.

 

But I personally don't care and don't have a problem meeting women. I was merely stating an observation about some women, and how they don't have realistic views on their Dating Options.

 

You do care. Very much so. Otherwise this thread wouldn't exist.

 

Maybe this applies to you or maybe it doesn't...but I would be willing to bet that this bothers you because you have liked some of these women but they haven't returned your affections because they felt they were too good for you...whereas you thought they were in your "league" or even below.

 

Which leads me to what I'm about to say and what I will say til the day I day.

 

Leagues don't exist.

[jcrew11]

You do care. Very much so. Otherwise this thread wouldn't exist.

 

Maybe this applies to you or maybe it doesn't...but I would be willing to bet that this bothers you because you have liked some of these women but they haven't returned your affections because they felt they were too good for you...whereas you thought they were in your "league" or even below.

 

Which leads me to what I'm about to say and what I will say til the day I day.

 

Leagues don't exist.

 

Nah, you're wrong. I started this thread because I read another thread about a "supposedly hot girl" who can't find a boyfriend; and I've also read some dating stories from NYC girls who can't find a date, but claim everyone tells her she is pretty. But then I see their photos and "they're not pretty, they are just average." And I think it does a disservice for friends to "tell a girl she is pretty" to boost her ego, like being pretty is the most important thing in her life.

 

Girls and their girl-friends derive all their self-worth and self-esteem by telling each other "they are pretty" and in reality its a complete lie; and messes up their dating expectations.

 

A girl should derive her self-worth from her intelligence and personality. If she's a good person and fun person to hang around with. Maybe she's a sexy and flirtatious person. But telling a girl she is "Pretty" is a superficially vapid exercise that is meaningless.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Nah, you're wrong. I started this thread because I read another thread about a "supposedly hot girl" who can't find a boyfriend; and I've also read some dating stories from NYC girls who can't find a date, but claim everyone tells her she is pretty. But then I see their photos and "they're not pretty, they are just average." And I think it does a disservice for friends to "tell a girl she is pretty" to boost her ego, like being pretty is the most important thing in her life.

 

Girls and their girl-friends derive all their self-worth and self-esteem by telling each other "they are pretty" and in reality its a complete lie; and messes up their dating expectations.

 

A girl should derive her self-worth from her intelligence and personality. If she's a good person and fun person to hang around with. Maybe she's a sexy and flirtatious person. But telling a girl she is "Pretty" is a superficially vapid exercise that is meaningless.

 

I disagree with this.

It is a confidence boost more than anything.

I don't need my girlfriends to tell me I am pretty to know I am pretty.

 

 

People will feel a way about themselves no matter what people tell them. Their inability to find a man rarely has anything to do with looks anyways...

[miss_jaclynrae]

Nah, you're wrong. I started this thread because I read another thread about a "supposedly hot girl" who can't find a boyfriend; and I've also read some dating stories from NYC girls who can't find a date, but claim everyone tells her she is pretty. But then I see their photos and "they're not pretty, they are just average." And I think it does a disservice for friends to "tell a girl she is pretty" to boost her ego, like being pretty is the most important thing in her life.

 

Girls and their girl-friends derive all their self-worth and self-esteem by telling each other "they are pretty" and in reality its a complete lie; and messes up their dating expectations.

 

A girl should derive her self-worth from her intelligence and personality. If she's a good person and fun person to hang around with. Maybe she's a sexy and flirtatious person. But telling a girl she is "Pretty" is a superficially vapid exercise that is meaningless.

 

BTW, I really think you don't understand women at ALL. Not to mention you are comparing self worth to confidence in ones looks... not the same... not the same at all.

[Leigh 87]

If not more so. I don't require them to have a 'great personality' as such but the ability to think for themselves and not be occupied by herd mentality and peer pressure would be fantastic. So few truly independent men are around though, regardless of age. It's all about getting one up over their fellow men, etc. Yyyyaaawwwwnnnn

 

 

 

Having a great personality is rare?

 

I put that down to why decent and attractive men, very attractive men in some cases, have fallen for me through being my friend.

 

Apparently, I am attractive to some people, but ugly to others.

 

.......I totally put their attraction to me down to them loving who I am as a person and wanting to be around that all the time, as in a relationship; and they are attractd to me, although I am not that hot to most people.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

This may have been discussed many times. But I just see stories of "average girls" who constantly claim they can't find a decent guy even though all her female friends and family members tell her how pretty and attractive she is.

 

I'll see the pictures and the girl might have nice eyes but generally their faces are average/unattractive. Yet, these average girls are trying to find Mr Handsome; and they might be able to sleep with a Hot Alpha Player for one night, but they won't be able to keep a steady alpha boyfriend.

 

I don't know what the answer is except not listening to your friends; and dating more average/unattractive men. I just think that if a girl is that "Hot and Attractive" there will be a guy out there willing to marry her, unless her personality is too annoying. I just think that because even "average looking girls" can get hit on a lot, they just have an inflated ego on their attractiveness to men.

 

*Yawn* ... another "lets put *average* women in their place" thread. How in the world do you seriously believe you know more about who women or men should be dating then those people themselves?

 

You do not understand women at all. Even worse, you do not understand men very well either. When you look at people and situations, all you see in the physical. How do I know this? Your entire focus on why who should be dating who is based on how attractive everyone is or isn't. You do not understand the million of layers underneath the surface of both women and men.

 

There are many hot and single girls that have been broken up with, rejected or dumped. Hot girls are more than just hot girls. They have layers to their personalities and experiences. Some are kind and some aren't. Men need more then just a pretty face. So your assertion that if a girl is hot enough, that everything should be peaches and cream for her, and that's all a man should need as as requirement to be with her, is insulting to women and men alike.

 

You also don't understand that women are biologically programmed to be more picky and you are bitter about it. We have more to loose by sleeping with every man that simply wants to. If you go read the other thread about men and ugly women, you will see that it is simpy SMART for women to be very careful about who they are sleeping with. Because apparently a man doesn't even really have to like you to sleep with you. Most men that initially approach a woman, usually aren't coming from it, from the angle of giving her commitment and are usually just looking for some kind of fun to start off with anyway.

 

And no, "average girls" don't have an "inflated sense of ego" just because they might get hit on. It's like your bitter that "average girls" might have some self esteem and the free will to say "no" to a guy to begin with. Sorry, but getting hit on by a man isn't so extremely flattering that a woman's ego puffs out like a balloon. Men are just people. They aren't a tally of our self worth.

[jcrew11]

BTW, I really think you don't understand women at ALL. Not to mention you are comparing self worth to confidence in ones looks... not the same... not the same at all.

 

I was just re-stating from another poster, that Women compliment each others looks to boost their self-esteem.

 

I was wrong, self-esteem is not the same as self-worth.

[jcrew11]

So your assertion that if a girl is hot enough, that everything should be peaches and cream for her, and that's all a man should need as as requirement to be with her, is insulting to women and men alike.

 

You also don't understand that women are biologically programmed to be more picky and you are bitter about it. We have more to loose by sleeping with every man that simply wants to. If you go read the other thread about men and ugly women, you will see that it is simpy SMART for women to be very careful about who they are sleeping with. Because apparently a man doesn't even really have to like you to sleep with you. Most men that initially approach a woman, usually aren't coming from it, from the angle of giving her commitment and are usually just looking for some kind of fun to start off with anyway.

 

And no, "average girls" don't have an "inflated sense of ego" just because they might get hit on. It's like your bitter that "average girls" might have some self esteem and the free will to say "no" to a guy to begin with. Sorry, but getting hit on by a man isn't so extremely flattering that a woman's ego puffs out like a balloon. Men are just people. They aren't a tally of our self worth.

 

I don't personally view women with just their looks. I was stating that many "average-looking women" mistakenly think they are "pretty" and think that they should be able to land "mr brad pitt" because they are "pretty" and they can't figure out why only losers ask them out.

 

My answer was - (1) most of the time, these "pretty" girls are really just "average/ugly" and (2) their expecatations of a boyfriend are unrealistic, especially if they are only relying on "being pretty (which they are not)."

 

So my answer is that these "average-looking girls" have to either choose men realistically and not just go for 'good-looking guys' and they have to have a better personality and be friendly and open-minded in their dating life. Its like a person acting like a rich snob, when they don't realize they are flat broke.

 

Believe it, there are plenty of loyal, ugly/average guys who have good personalities that want committment. Girls just have to be able to see this.

 

But just go on "rejecting" every ugly man that comes your way, because you have all the answers.

[mesmerized]

I don't personally view women with just their looks. I was stating that many "average-looking women" mistakenly think they are "pretty" and think that they should be able to land "mr brad pitt" because they are "pretty" and they can't figure out why only losers ask them out.

 

My answer was - (1) most of the time, these "pretty" girls are really just "average/ugly" and (2) their expecatations of a boyfriend are unrealistic, especially if they are only relying on "being pretty (which they are not)."

 

So my answer is that these "average-looking girls" have to either choose men realistically and not just go for 'good-looking guys' and they have to have a better personality and be friendly and open-minded in their dating life. Its like a person acting like a rich snob, when they don't realize they are flat broke.

 

Believe it, there are plenty of loyal, ugly/average guys who have good personalities that want committment. Girls just have to be able to see this.

 

But just go on "rejecting" every ugly man that comes your way, because you have all the answers.

 

Why do you care so much to tell women how attractive they are?

 

Can I ask how attractive you are? How often do you think you get rejected by women because of your looks?

[Anela]

I don't personally view women with just their looks. I was stating that many "average-looking women" mistakenly think they are "pretty" and think that they should be able to land "mr brad pitt" because they are "pretty" and they can't figure out why only losers ask them out.

 

My answer was - (1) most of the time, these "pretty" girls are really just "average/ugly" and (2) their expecatations of a boyfriend are unrealistic, especially if they are only relying on "being pretty (which they are not)."

 

So my answer is that these "average-looking girls" have to either choose men realistically and not just go for 'good-looking guys' and they have to have a better personality and be friendly and open-minded in their dating life. Its like a person acting like a rich snob, when they don't realize they are flat broke.

 

Believe it, there are plenty of loyal, ugly/average guys who have good personalities that want committment. Girls just have to be able to see this.

 

But just go on "rejecting" every ugly man that comes your way, because you have all the answers.

 

Believe it or not, there are plenty of ugly/average guys who are overlooking the girls you speak of, because they think they deserve "better".

[Titania22]

But your post indicates how Woman start looking in the mirror at a young age, and are uber-aware of their looks; while men are teased if they spend too much time looking in the mirror (as gay) yet Women complain their are no good-looking quality men. The reason there are "no good looking men" is because most men don't know how to improve their looks with grooming.

 

Perhaps its because women face so much competition in looks from other women, that the "beauty scale" keeps pushing women higher.

 

Yet, men are pushed to be smarter and stronger; and to get good jobs. Men aren't taught to work on their looks, so their are more "rich engineers" that look ugly not because "they are naturally ugly, but because they don't know how to enhance their looks." Women see so many "ugly low-quality men" because there are so many men that don't work on their appearances, yet they are rejected by Women because of their 'ugly looks.' Women just need to lower their standards and realize that many men are not going to "try to be good looking."

 

Firstly I don't disagree with your post. Anecdotely, growing up my father was disappointed to have a daughter and I was pretty much left to my own devices (other then being told all the time I was pretty), and happy when he got a son, always pushing him with his studies and getting him books and taking him to events to (supposedly) teach him to be a winner and successful. (Because ultimately in my fathers mind boy are worthwhile and girls are a waste of space.)

 

So I definately agree with you, and even being the type of girl who couldn't care less about makeup and pretty dresses, I still somehow picked up something from my environment (because from a young age in my mind the purpose of women is to be appealing and sexy to men). (Thank goodness I have grown over the years.)

 

But I don't think the result should be that "Women just need to lower their standards and realize that many men are not going to "try to be good looking," because that doesn't encourage men to improve. Ultimately this whole men/women relationship thing seems to me like it should be about inspiring everyone to become the best people they can be (not just in looks but in all areas of life).

 

Although I will accept a man who doesn't try with his looks, if he is happy for me not to dress up and wear makeup. Fair is fair. I don't need a rich engineer, I don't need a man to buy me a house.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I don't personally view women with just their looks. I was stating that many "average-looking women" mistakenly think they are "pretty" and think that they should be able to land "mr brad pitt" because they are "pretty" and they can't figure out why only losers ask them out.

 

But seriously, who are you to say that these women aren't pretty if they think they are? Is your opinion of their looks worth more then their own opinion of their own looks? I just don't get your mindset. It's one thing for you to think a woman is average. That's your opinion. It doesn't mean it's the right one or the wrong one. But it's an entirely other thing to say "these average women *mistakeningly* believe they are "pretty". Huh??????? Maybe they ARE pretty. They have every right to believe they are pretty.

 

I also question the assumption that these women are only trying to go for or land "Mr. Brad Pitt". My guess is that you are hugely over-estimating what level of looks a woman might go for simply because she may have turned you or your friend down. Just because a woman turns down an average looking man, and is either average herself or pretty, doesn't mean she is holding out for Brad Pitt. I've turned down stereotypically attractive men AND not stereotypically attractive men. I have accepted dates from stereotypically attractive men AND non-socially commonly attractive men. I think more women are probably more like me then how you think women are.

 

My answer was - (1) most of the time, these "pretty" girls are really just "average/ugly" and (2) their expecatations of a boyfriend are unrealistic, especially if they are only relying on "being pretty (which they are not)."

 

Just because you don't think they are pretty doesn't mean they aren't or are pretty. Just because they think they are pretty doesn't mean mean they aren't or are pretty either. You do not get to be the authority on how a woman feels or sees herself. You are totally allowed to not find someone attractive. But it's different when you actually begin to say things like, "how dare that woman actually believe she is pretty."

 

So my answer is that these "average-looking girls" have to either choose men realistically and not just go for 'good-looking guys' and they have to have a better personality and be friendly and open-minded in their dating life. Its like a person acting like a rich snob, when they don't realize they are flat broke.

 

Do you know the entire dating histories of these girls you are talking about? Have you seen pictures or knew/know all their previous and current boyfriends? Where do you actually collect your data from?

 

Believe it, there are plenty of loyal, ugly/average guys who have good personalities that want committment. Girls just have to be able to see this.

 

But just go on "rejecting" every ugly man that comes your way, because you have all the answers.

 

Yes, I think there are many average/plain men that have good personalities that want committment.

 

But there are also a lot of average/plain men that even with their good personalities and commitment abilities, don't know how to relate to women very well. And they don't ever put in the time to learn how to because they spend more time focusing on what they believe women are doing wrong.

 

Look, I am not saying that women sometimes don't reject men before knowing what a great guy he is. The same things happens to women though. Women get rejected by men too before he gets to know what a great woman she is. There are lots of sweet, kind, warm women that would love a good man but who get turned down or not even noticed in favor of the more pretty women. Even sometimes average/plain men are staring at the really pretty women over the average/plain women.

 

What bothers me is that you feel like you get to say how a woman feels about her own looks. You believe your opinion of her looks has more value then her own opinion of her looks.

[Titania22]

On the subject of compliments, when I was a young adult I received many compliments, i.e. "pretty", "cute", "most beautiful woman I have seen in my life", but the compliment I was most impressed and proud of was "you're really cool ... for a girl".

 

These days I get fewer compliments, and they tend to be more about my skills or personality, so the compliment I am most impressed with recently is "you have absurdly perfect breasts".

 

I guess the point is people appreciate when they get complimented for things most people don't seem to notice.

[jcrew11]

Why do you care so much to tell women how attractive they are?

 

Can I ask how attractive you are? How often do you think you get rejected by women because of your looks?

 

If a woman's girlfriends are telling her she is "pretty" enough to attract guys, when she is "kinda average/ugly" - it gives her a false sense of reality.

 

She thinks she's a 9 but the guys she tries to date all see her as a 6 (someone average and not attractive).

 

I'm just saying these women, aren't as hot as they think they are, and this delusion is messing up their dating life - because they think they can always do better and find a hotter guy. And they are left to bitterly complain that they don't deserve to be single and can't find the perfect man they deserve.

 

I think that being successful in dating can result in having an accurate and honest self-image. Don't delude yourself into thinking you are someone you are not.

[ComingInHot]

I don't think I'm ugly. I'm not a "ten" or even an eight or nine but I'm not horrible to "look" at.

 

Does this make me arrogant?

[jcrew11]

But I don't think the result should be that "Women just need to lower their standards and realize that many men are not going to "try to be good looking," because that doesn't encourage men to improve. Ultimately this whole men/women relationship thing seems to me like it should be about inspiring everyone to become the best people they can be (not just in looks but in all areas of life).

 

Although I will accept a man who doesn't try with his looks, if he is happy for me not to dress up and wear makeup. Fair is fair. I don't need a rich engineer, I don't need a man to buy me a house.

 

So you want to encourage Men to become as obsessed with improving their own looks as Women; and buy face cremes and plastic surgery? Society will become more andmore superficial and men and women become more pickier about their spouses looks.

 

There is a saying that "All the Good men are married or gay" - because Gay Men care about their looks. But lonely clueless single men are single because they don't know how to "enhance their looks." Maybe there needs to be a Cosmo for Men, that focuses on giving men Makeup Tips or whatever.

[jcrew11]

But seriously, who are you to say that these women aren't pretty if they think they are? Is your opinion of their looks worth more then their own opinion of their own looks? I just don't get your mindset. It's one thing for you to think a woman is average. That's your opinion. It doesn't mean it's the right one or the wrong one. But it's an entirely other thing to say "these average women *mistakeningly* believe they are "pretty". Huh??????? Maybe they ARE pretty. They have every right to believe they are pretty.

 

What bothers me is that you feel like you get to say how a woman feels about her own looks. You believe your opinion of her looks has more value then her own opinion of her looks.

 

You're missing the point of the question. Its that Single Men don't view a girl as "attractive as she thinks she is" and that is the reason they are ignoring her (She's ugly and mediocre).

 

This is a common complaint I see - "I'm told I'm a pretty girl but why can't I find a boyfriend/husband?"

 

She may think she's a pretty girl, but as Men see her, she's "conventionally UGLY" and that is one of the Big reasons she is single.

 

Now, if she was an ugly girl with a really good persaonility, some men will find her personality attractive.

 

Being complemented as "pretty" is the same as "nice" - its vague and doesn't hold water.

[Titania22]

So you want to encourage Men to become as obsessed with improving their own looks as Women; and buy face cremes and plastic surgery? Society will become more andmore superficial and men and women become more pickier about their spouses looks.

 

There is a saying that "All the Good men are married or gay" - because Gay Men care about their looks. But lonely clueless single men are single because they don't know how to "enhance their looks." Maybe there needs to be a Cosmo for Men, that focuses on giving men Makeup Tips or whatever.

 

I don't buy face cream or get plastic surgery, but I would like men to be clean shaven and get style haircuts instead of just getting it shaved off.

[jcrew11]

I don't think I'm ugly. I'm not a "ten" or even an eight or nine but I'm not horrible to "look" at.

 

Does this make me arrogant?

 

Not unless you are rejecting men based on their inferior looks.

 

I see stories mostly from East Coast princesses who would be "cute and attractive" in a small town with little female competition. But instead, these women are "ambitious perfectionists who delude themselves into thinking they are 8-9's" but are really a 6 compared to the "models" in LA and NYC.

 

I just want to tell those women they should just be thankful if even one guy wants to marry them. I want to coin the term "averagely pretty" or "cute-pretty."

 

These women are definitely not "model pretty."

[rocketman122]

I do agree with you Jcrew. I do think many women think highly of themselves and they are not so attractive/beautiful. I laughed when I saw the facebook comment because thats what ive been saying for so long. youre so beautiful. gorgeous. what a hottie. and I laugh at how ugly they are and how fake those comments are.

 

when I did wedding photography the brides GF's always would say youre so beautiful and me being a say it like I see it guy, wouldnt say a word if I thought she wasnt. sometimes they would say to me "look how beautiful she is" I wouldnt say a word but had my eye in the viewfinder and made believe like I didnt hear her. im not fake.

 

but, there was an article saying that women are getting prettier and men arent. because technology is getting better with all the cosmetics they offer and the industry is clearly aimed at the female to better their appearance. this is good for us men. bad for them. HAHA

 

I think on the whole men and women both think they look better than they really are. women just lie to one another to make each other feel good because society has a lot of emphasis on the beauty and how they look. but many guys think they look so good but are butt ugly as shet.

 

but here's the thing. beauty in woman doesnt matter much. sex appeal is whats most important. she can be average but she has this special something about her that makes you just want to pound her.

 

I went out with such a girl. she knew how to drive me crazy. she knew how to dress that accentuated her figure and nice makeup hair nails high heels. we would wait to get seated in a restaurant and she would slowly rub her azz up against my salami. or when the waitress came over to take our order, she would talk to her while rubbing my cock without flinching. she would take a #1/2 with the door open and just throw her used panties in my lap before jumping in the shower. these are things I love in a woman but you get the jist of it.