Do many women have inflated views on their Attractiveness?

[Archgirl]

I disagree. Confidence bordering on arrogance is very unattractive to me.

 

If some woman I met at a bar were to say something to me to the effect of "I'm hot. I know it. And I deserve a hot guy."

 

Automatically nexted. Too old these days to deal with that attitude. On the other hand, if a gal were to think she were not that pretty, but was confident in what kind of a person she was, and what she had accomplished education and career wise, that's better.

 

Of course, the IN-BETWEEN is the ideal. Yea. I think I'm OK, nothing special, average. To me, it's a lot better to have a person DISCOVER how special you are instead of you shouting it around town.

 

IMO pound for pound, the hottest female on LS (of those who have posted their pics) is also one of the humblest. That says a lot.

 

Ah, so now we're to be gorgeous yet humble. How 1950's.

FWI whoever she is has posted her pics- she ain't that humble. Every good looking woman is painfully aware of that fact from about age 13 on. Not admitting that awareness isn't humble. It's just disingenuous and manipulative. And usually a ploy to get compliments from men because they have learnt how to get the attention they want and still be seen as behaving appropriately "feminine"

[JuneJulySeptember]

Nobody's talking about shouting it around town.

 

This is not about men vs. women. I've left that behind me.

 

It's more about making statements like,

 

"I'm hot. I deserve someone just as hot as me."

 

"Most of the men I've dated are less attractive than me."

 

Why so? Because your BFF told you so.

 

Just a tad arrogant in my mind, and I see a lot of it here.

 

I'm pretty sure that every woman and every man that has been called ugly and unattractive here in the past 10 days is a perfectly normal looking human with no disfigurements.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Ah, so now we're to be gorgeous yet humble. How 1950's.

FWI whoever she is has posted her pics- she ain't that humble. Every good looking woman is painfully aware of that fact from about age 13 on. Not admitting that awareness isn't humble. It's just disingenuous and manipulative. And usually a ploy to get compliments from men because they have learnt how to get the attention they want and still be seen as behaving appropriately "feminine"

 

I don't need you to be gorgeous. That's your shtick.

 

I'm at a bus stop right now, with around 7 women who are in their mid 20s to late 30s. All of them are cute. I'm dead serious.

 

Stop being so critical when it comes to looks (Not YOU. Just people in general).

 

Read your comments again. You buy so into the rat-race game of society.

Edited February 15, 2013 by JuneJulySeptember

[Archgirl]

I don't need you to be gorgeous. That's your shtick.

 

I'm at a bus stop right now, with around 7 women who are in their mid 20s to late 30s. All of them are cute. I'm dead serious.

 

Stop being so critical when it comes to looks (Not YOU. Just people in general).

 

Thanks for the reply. I'm really interested in understanding your point. I'm really trying to understand your point.

[Revolver]

Theres alot of factors to this, but one of the main ones is that Men gas up the heads of average women online and in real life all the time. They do this because they believe they actually have a chance with these women(in comparison to the super hot girls)

[Revolver]

There are some women who are stuck up from tons of sexual advances..my good looking buddy "pumps and dumps" [those are his words not mine] a lot of average looking women and these women think they were in a relationship with him while he couldnt pick them out of a lineup a few weeks later

 

So some women might think these good looking guys who really just used them are actually their league so to speak

 

This is an excellent point and the main reasons for this. Alot of women are bootycalls to guys WAAAAAY out of their league. So for the rest of their lives they believe they don't deserve anything less then those guys. Which is their right but I'm just saying

 

Most guys don't have this issue because they rarely if ever have these type of interactions with women who are out of their league

[Archgirl]

I don't need you to be gorgeous. That's your shtick.

 

I'm at a bus stop right now, with around 7 women who are in their mid 20s to late 30s. All of them are cute. I'm dead serious.

 

Stop being so critical when it comes to looks (Not YOU. Just people in general).

 

Read your comments again. You buy so into the rat-race game of society.

 

And to be honest babe, I'd really appreciate some insight into how we came to be discussing me/my needs/looks/outlook personally. This was not a topic under discussion and I'd greatly appreciate an apology and a retraction for making it so.

Cheers.

[Els]

This is not about men vs. women. I've left that behind me.

 

It's more about making statements like,

 

"I'm hot. I deserve someone just as hot as me."

 

"Most of the men I've dated are less attractive than me."

 

Why so? Because your BFF told you so.

 

Just a tad arrogant in my mind, and I see a lot of it here.

 

Most of the time I only see this in threads where men are insisting that all women are only interested in dating the 'top 5%' (sounds familiar?) of men and some naive women are trying to convince them otherwise. Those who say it out of the blue are generally trolls.

 

IRL I almost never hear anyone say stuff like that out of the blue.

 

I'm pretty sure that every woman and every man that has been called ugly and unattractive here in the past 10 days is a perfectly normal looking human with no disfigurements.

 

I almost never see anyone called ugly here either (physically, that is), but if anyone had been, I agree with you. Most people look perfectly normal.

 

I don't see how your points are at all relevant to the OP's complaint about the women whom he perceives in his 'league' not being interested in him, though.

[Revolver]

I have also noticed that a lot of men that consider themselves not that great looking automatically think that they have a "great personality". The truth is, having a great personality is just as rare as having great looks.

 

I think one of the big differences is when a woman says she has a great personality people are always quick to believe her. When a man says it we immediately think he's lying and question him. You see this online all the time as well

[JuneJulySeptember]

Thanks for the reply. I'm really interested in understanding your point. I'm really trying to understand your point.

 

The points people make that paint us as lemmings who are unable to break free of the grasp of idiotic societal rules.

 

"7s date 7s, and 5s date 5s."

 

"I'm hot, so I deserve someone just as hot as me."

 

"Women who are hot know it and are therefore unable to be humble."

 

God. Comments like that make me want to puke!

 

I've never said that about any of my exes. I don't rate them compared to me, higher or lower. I might THINK about it, but I forcibly expel it from my head.

 

I realize I've probably been as responsible as anybody for spreading a lot of this drivel around, but that's changing.

[Els]

You do realize that the OP's post is ALL about 'idiotic societal rules', JJS. Or rather, his rules. HE thinks those women are 5s so how dare they feel good about themselves?

 

I personally think you just latch on to any hook that affords you the remotest chance of offloading your views on this issue rather than actually reading the content of the OP. Because you're writing in agreement with an OP that's doing the exact thing that you're finding so puke-worthy.

[JuneJulySeptember]

And to be honest babe, I'd really appreciate some insight into how we came to be discussing me/my needs/looks/outlook personally. This was not a topic under discussion and I'd greatly appreciate an apology and a retraction for making it so.

Cheers.

 

I didn't say anything about you.

 

I don't know anything about you. I was just responding to your post.

 

Anything else is in your head.

[Archgirl]

The points people make that paint us as lemmings who are unable to break free of the grasp of idiotic societal rules.

 

"7s date 7s, and 5s date 5s."

 

"I'm hot, so I deserve someone just as hot as me."

 

"Women who are hot know it and are therefore unable to be humble."

 

God. Comments like that make me want to puke!

 

I've never said that about any of my exes. I don't rate them compared to me, higher or lower. I might THINK about it, but I forcibly expel it from my head.

 

I realize I've probably been as responsible as anybody for spreading a lot of this drivel around, but that's changing.

 

Ah, I see where we've gone wrong, you've misunderstood me I'm afraid. What I was trying to say was that given societies value on a woman's looks (something completely unearned and the potluck result of genetics and current fashion)over any other character trait, most attractive women have recieved that message (you're good looking, that is your primary value - society at does not care whether you are smart, good at drawing, have a mean left hook, are a whiz at cooking, tell funny jokes etc) about a million times and it is impossible that she be unaware of the fact. Most toe the line and get used to the appreciation it garners.

I was merely making the point that it was unlikely to be genuine humbleness and that posting her pics was this probably part of a tried and true routine where she pulled the damsel in distress and just needed a kind hearted man to help bolster her "lack of self esteem". Not her fault. Probably the only thing she reliably gets told anything nice about herself.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Most of the time I only see this in threads where men are insisting that all women are only interested in dating the 'top 5%' (sounds familiar?) of men and some naive women are trying to convince them otherwise. Those who say it out of the blue are generally trolls.

 

IRL I almost never hear anyone say stuff like that out of the blue.

 

 

 

I almost never see anyone called ugly here either (physically, that is), but if anyone had been, I agree with you. Most people look perfectly normal.

 

I don't see how your points are at all relevant to the OP's complaint about the women whom he perceives in his 'league' not being interested in him, though.

 

You do realize that the OP's post is ALL about 'idiotic societal rules', JJS. Or rather, his rules. HE thinks those women are 5s so how dare they feel good about themselves?

 

I personally think you just latch on to any hook that affords you the remotest chance of offloading your views on this issue rather than actually reading the content of the OP. Because you're writing in agreement with an OP that's doing the exact thing that you're finding so puke-worthy.

 

Well, my point was to address THAT single post, not the OP. But yes, I agree, grouping women together in a singular mass is idiotic.

 

I am capable of change.

 

Or did you just want to argue?

[Els]

That must have been a mighty quick change to go from

 

I do believe that is at least part of the reason why you see so many women who have the philosophy you have stated above and why you have so many men who think they are completely unattractive.

 

to

 

This is not about men vs. women. I've left that behind me.

 

and

 

I agree, grouping women together in a singular mass is idiotic.

 

in one single thread.

[Archgirl]

I don't need you to be gorgeous. That's your shtick... You buy so into the rat-race game of society.

 

Ah, yeah, there was nothing personal here following on from directly quoting me.

the good old offensive-defense huh? Call her crazy when she's got you on the run. Pffft!

[JuneJulySeptember]

That must have been a mighty quick change to go from

 

 

 

to

 

 

 

and

 

 

 

in one single thread.

 

Yup. You got me.

 

I'll keep that in mind.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Ah, yeah, there was nothing personal here following on from directly quoting me.

the good old offensive-defense huh? Call her crazy when she's got you on the run. Pffft!

 

It wasn't personal. It was all in your one post.

 

The fact that you think that an attractive woman could never be truly humble says that you buy totally into society's rules. What about external factors like family? Upbringing?

 

Certain professional athletes are extremely humble.

 

I know exactly of this drivel because I've spread it so many times myself.

[Archgirl]

Yup. You got me.

 

I'll keep that in mind.

 

Hey that's awesome! Good on you! I really admire that. It's so rare to see a man on here admit when he's been wrong!

[jcrew11]

So much WTF in this thread I don't even know where to start.

 

Who are YOU to judge how anyone else feels about themselves?

 

I'll say this much...I'd rather be someone with an OVERinflated view of myself than be someone who is a self deprecator.

 

At least confidence is attractive in some way...low self esteem is NEVER attractive in ANY scenario.

 

Its not about confidence, LOL. Its about viewing yourself as a "perfect 10" and rejecting every average-looking guy; and then complaining that you never meet any "quality" men. Its all about having an "unrealistic view of your dating life" and failing at dating because of it.

[Archgirl]

It wasn't personal. It was all in your one post.

 

The fact that you think that an attractive woman could never be truly humble says that you buy totally into society's rules. What about external factors like family? Upbringing?

 

Certain professional athletes are extremely humble.

 

I know exactly of this drivel because I've spread it so many times myself.

 

Actually I was originally disagreeing with you by questioning whether being humble was really being humble if you publicized it.

That to me says a lot about buying into externalising your value. Definitely not my cup of tea thankyou. Anything someone needs to have validated by someone else isn't something I want.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Actually I was originally disagreeing with you by questioning whether being humble was really being humble if you publicized it.

That to me says a lot about buying into externalising your value. Definitely not my cup of tea thankyou. Anything someone needs to have validated by someone else isn't something I want.

 

The poster never flat out said they were humble.

 

I could tell they were humble from their philosophy on men they would date (give a chance to). You can tell a lot a person just from one post they make.

 

Just like people can tell I'm a d@uchebag for posting stuff about how all women this and all women that.

[jcrew11]

Well my post was more about our inner selves and not at all about grooming and makeup.

 

A person could be beautiful externally, but because of low self esteem feel unattractive. Likewise a person who has worked on themselves and really like who they are, can feel gorgeous regardless of what a mirror tells them.

 

But I agree with your post, I find it annoying that women are expected to put in so much effort hiding how they naturally look, and men can just get up and leave the house as is and expect women to accept them that way. I would be fine with the relaxed approach if I can also take the relaxed approach, but unfortunately men won't notice natural women if there are all these women about all made up.

 

But your post indicates how Woman start looking in the mirror at a young age, and are uber-aware of their looks; while men are teased if they spend too much time looking in the mirror (as gay) yet Women complain their are no good-looking quality men. The reason there are "no good looking men" is because most men don't know how to improve their looks with grooming.

 

Perhaps its because women face so much competition in looks from other women, that the "beauty scale" keeps pushing women higher.

 

Yet, men are pushed to be smarter and stronger; and to get good jobs. Men aren't taught to work on their looks, so their are more "rich engineers" that look ugly not because "they are naturally ugly, but because they don't know how to enhance their looks." Women see so many "ugly low-quality men" because there are so many men that don't work on their appearances, yet they are rejected by Women because of their 'ugly looks.' Women just need to lower their standards and realize that many men are not going to "try to be good looking."

[stillafool]

Is this another thread about angry, bitter guys who can't get dates with goodlooking women?

[Archgirl]

The poster never flat out said they were humble.

 

I could tell they were humble from their philosophy on men they would date (give a chance to). You can tell a lot a person just from one post they make.

 

Just like people can tell I'm a d@uchebag for posting stuff about how all women this and all women that.

 

I'm sure she didn't say it directly. I was trying to point out that you had actually been manipulated into thinking so as there was direct evidence that she isn't actually humble.

Thanks all for the debate, great stuff!