Do many women have inflated views on their Attractiveness?

[jcrew11]

This may have been discussed many times. But I just see stories of "average girls" who constantly claim they can't find a decent guy even though all her female friends and family members tell her how pretty and attractive she is.

 

I'll see the pictures and the girl might have nice eyes but generally their faces are average/unattractive. Yet, these average girls are trying to find Mr Handsome; and they might be able to sleep with a Hot Alpha Player for one night, but they won't be able to keep a steady alpha boyfriend.

 

I don't know what the answer is except not listening to your friends; and dating more average/unattractive men. I just think that if a girl is that "Hot and Attractive" there will be a guy out there willing to marry her, unless her personality is too annoying. I just think that because even "average looking girls" can get hit on a lot, they just have an inflated ego on their attractiveness to men.

[JuneJulySeptember]

This may have been discussed many times. But I just see stories of "average girls" who constantly claim they can't find a decent guy even though all her female friends and family members tell her how pretty and attractive she is.

 

I'll see the pictures and the girl might have nice eyes but generally their faces are average/unattractive. Yet, these average girls are trying to find Mr Handsome; and they might be able to sleep with a Hot Alpha Player for one night, but they won't be able to keep a steady alpha boyfriend.

 

I don't know what the answer is except not listening to your friends; and dating more average/unattractive men. I just think that if a girl is that "Hot and Attractive" there will be a guy out there willing to marry her, unless her personality is too annoying. I just think that because even "average looking girls" can get hit on a lot, they just have an inflated ego on their attractiveness to men.

 

 

If you have an active facebook account, then you know that anytime a woman posts a 'self-shot' of herself then 5 female friends will chime in and tell her how hot, pretty, and beautiful she looks. If she is a girly-girl type or at least hangs out with such types, then that number will go up fourfold and a bunch of males will coat her in compliments too.

 

OTOH, according to LS at least, it's common course for men to tell themselves how ugly they are and put each other down. So, really the only way for some men to validate their attractiveness is by success with women.

 

I do believe that is at least part of the reason why you see so many women who have the philosophy you have stated above and why you have so many men who think they are completely unattractive.

 

Anyway, the whole "I'm this good looking so I need someone just as good looking" philosophy just kind of sucks if you think about it. Really, you can play that game no matter how attractive or unattractive you are. There is always someone prettier, and there is always someone uglier, at least in the eyes of society.

 

I don't wanna play anymore.

[Ami1uwant]

This may have been discussed many times. But I just see stories of "average girls" who constantly claim they can't find a decent guy even though all her female friends and family members tell her how pretty and attractive she is.

 

I'll see the pictures and the girl might have nice eyes but generally their faces are average/unattractive. Yet, these average girls are trying to find Mr Handsome; and they might be able to sleep with a Hot Alpha Player for one night, but they won't be able to keep a steady alpha boyfriend.

 

I don't know what the answer is except not listening to your friends; and dating more average/unattractive men. I just think that if a girl is that "Hot and Attractive" there will be a guy out there willing to marry her, unless her personality is too annoying. I just think that because even "average looking girls" can get hit on a lot, they just have an inflated ego on their attractiveness to men.

 

This is a problem with online dating......this isnt just with women but also for men.....they tend to try and search for someone out of their league when it comes to looks. for women they want to believe the will get that dream match.

[Titania22]

I wanted to inject something anecdotal.

 

The other day I was sitting having a bit of a daydream, and saw myself (how i feel) in the daydream, and then got up and looked in the mirror, and for a moment was surprised at how different I actually look, to how i feel I should look based on how I feel about myself.

 

Now obviously I know I am getting older and don't look like a spring chicken anymore, but when mirrors aren't present, it is easy to feel like a spring chicken (especially if I have just worked out).

 

I guess people both male and female who don't look at themselves objectively get easily have an inflated view of their attractiveness, especially since the outside keeps aging, while the inside still feels young.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Eh, I rarely reject guy because he is not good looking enough. I would be happy with an average guy. 99% of the time it's because they are not that intelligent, lack ambition, lack integrity, lazy, bore me etc.

[AD1980]

There are some women who are stuck up from tons of sexual advances..my good looking buddy "pumps and dumps" [those are his words not mine] a lot of average looking women and these women think they were in a relationship with him while he couldnt pick them out of a lineup a few weeks later

 

So some women might think these good looking guys who really just used them are actually their league so to speak

Edited February 15, 2013 by AD1980

[jcrew11]

I wanted to inject something anecdotal.

 

The other day I was sitting having a bit of a daydream, and saw myself (how i feel) in the daydream, and then got up and looked in the mirror, and for a moment was surprised at how different I actually look, to how i feel I should look based on how I feel about myself.

 

Now obviously I know I am getting older and don't look like a spring chicken anymore, but when mirrors aren't present, it is easy to feel like a spring chicken (especially if I have just worked out).

 

I guess people both male and female who don't look at themselves objectively get easily have an inflated view of their attractiveness, especially since the outside keeps aging, while the inside still feels young.

 

I think Women are also taught at a young age to be aware of their looks and use their looks to entice men - with makeup, hairstyles, jewelry, fashion, eyelashes, lipstick, etc. Even an average girl, can make herself into a "looker" with a lot of makeup for one night. But at the same time, its a mistake to be caught up in the fantasy of "the makeup" without developing a realistic view of life.

 

Also, men don't work on their looks at all, so there are more men who are average 5's because they don't put enough effort into their fashion, hairstyle or grooming.

 

Women mistakenly think that Men are taught the same things about securing a "wife" as women are obsessively taught to "meet the Mr. Right Husband" since the age of puberty. A woman is told that her wedding day will be the best day of her life, and it inflates expectations and inflates her expectations of the Perfect Man.

[KungFuJoe]

So much WTF in this thread I don't even know where to start.

 

Who are YOU to judge how anyone else feels about themselves?

 

I'll say this much...I'd rather be someone with an OVERinflated view of myself than be someone who is a self deprecator.

 

At least confidence is attractive in some way...low self esteem is NEVER attractive in ANY scenario.

[ChessPieceFace]

If you have an active facebook account, then you know that anytime a woman posts a 'self-shot' of herself then 5 female friends will chime in and tell her how hot, pretty, and beautiful she looks. If she is a girly-girl type or at least hangs out with such types, then that number will go up fourfold and a bunch of males will coat her in compliments too.

 

This is true. But it's still a woman's own fault if she gets an out-of-proportion perception of her attractiveness. And also -- why worry about it? If they do then ... how is it affecting what you're doing. I don't get it.

[Titania22]

I think Women are also taught at a young age to be aware of their looks and use their looks to entice men - with makeup, hairstyles, jewelry, fashion, eyelashes, lipstick, etc. Even an average girl, can make herself into a "looker" with a lot of makeup for one night. But at the same time, its a mistake to be caught up in the fantasy of "the makeup" without developing a realistic view of life.

 

Also, men don't work on their looks at all, so there are more men who are average 5's because they don't put enough effort into their fashion, hairstyle or grooming.

 

Women mistakenly think that Men are taught the same things about securing a "wife" as women are obsessively taught to "meet the Mr. Right Husband" since the age of puberty. A woman is told that her wedding day will be the best day of her life, and it inflates expectations and inflates her expectations of the Perfect Man.

 

Well my post was more about our inner selves and not at all about grooming and makeup.

 

A person could be beautiful externally, but because of low self esteem feel unattractive. Likewise a person who has worked on themselves and really like who they are, can feel gorgeous regardless of what a mirror tells them.

 

But I agree with your post, I find it annoying that women are expected to put in so much effort hiding how they naturally look, and men can just get up and leave the house as is and expect women to accept them that way. I would be fine with the relaxed approach if I can also take the relaxed approach, but unfortunately men won't notice natural women if there are all these women about all made up.

[silvermercy]

While I agree that it's true with some women I don't think I agree that it happens to the majority of females. Even those who post attention-seeking half-naked pics on social sites are still insecure about their looks (hence the need for constant validation and to be told they're pretty).

For ages now, women have been taught from an early age that all they really have is their looks. You could be a Nobel-winning cancer-curing scientist and you would still be told you are not worth it unless you are pretty. If most women thought they looked more than average then there would be no need for a billion-dollar cosmetics and fashion industry, anti-ageing creams, constant diets, plastic surgeries etc, all specifically catered to women and so on... So, no, I don't believe the majority of women think they are better than they actually look (which is also subjective to be honest).

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have also noticed that a lot of men that consider themselves not that great looking automatically think that they have a "great personality". The truth is, having a great personality is just as rare as having great looks.

[sweetkiwi]

In no way shape or form do I consider it a compliment that men.want to bone me. Most would **** a jar of vasaline (no offense).

 

Same goes for the word "hot". Not a compliment. I would much rather feel beautiful because my eyes are sparkling and joyful. Because I dove under a stopped train to grab a nun's purse. Or because I made a baby giggle.

 

I have boobs and a vagina. That's not what makes me special.

[Emilia]

I have also noticed that a lot of men that consider themselves not that great looking automatically think that they have a "great personality". The truth is, having a great personality is just as rare as having great looks.

 

If not more so. I don't require them to have a 'great personality' as such but the ability to think for themselves and not be occupied by herd mentality and peer pressure would be fantastic. So few truly independent men are around though, regardless of age. It's all about getting one up over their fellow men, etc. Yyyyaaawwwwnnnn

[PogoStick]

I agree that women tend to over-rate themselves, but what else would you expect? They also tend to be pretty harsh on rating their competition. Still, it's far better than the girls with no self-esteem who are always complaining about their looks.

[Taramere]

This may have been discussed many times. But I just see stories of "average girls" who constantly claim they can't find a decent guy even though all her female friends and family members tell her how pretty and attractive she is.

 

I'll see the pictures and the girl might have nice eyes but generally their faces are average/unattractive. Yet, these average girls are trying to find Mr Handsome; and they might be able to sleep with a Hot Alpha Player for one night, but they won't be able to keep a steady alpha boyfriend.

 

I don't know what the answer is except not listening to your friends; and dating more average/unattractive men. I just think that if a girl is that "Hot and Attractive" there will be a guy out there willing to marry her, unless her personality is too annoying. I just think that because even "average looking girls" can get hit on a lot, they just have an inflated ego on their attractiveness to men.

 

What is perhaps inflated is the notion that the wealthiest and most powerful men marry women who would be adjudicated as "tens" on message boards dealing with dating matters. Sportsmen might (though where I live they often go for the low end glamour model look in women, rather than the elite fashion model type). So might other celebrities who need to stay in the public eye to keep the pennies rolling in, and find that a photogenic partner/spouse helps them stay in the limelight.

 

When it comes to what the major alpha players look for in a wife, though, the proof is in the pudding. If you've got time, google the top 20 richest men and then google pictures of their wives. In most cases, expensively dressed and coiffed though those wives are, they would probably be dismissed by the average guy on the internet as "average".

 

The rich are different.

Edited February 15, 2013 by Taramere

[crude]

Ultimately it doesn't seem to matter what women look like. Fat, ugly women are mostly married. If 100 couples were in a movie theater when shooting broke out, 75 of the men would shield the women with their body, regardless of what the women looked like. Not one woman would do likewise. Men get married to ordinary looking women when they could play the field with far more attractive ones. Women think men are more shallow than they really are. Men think "hot" is what they want, but their actions say otherwise. A small percentage of men care about looks alone.

[Archgirl]

oh FFS! Not another post by bitter rejected guys trying regain power over women for not noticing them by putting them down sexuallly/standing in judgement over their appearance. Man-up guys, its pathetically transparent and frankly really boring.

[silvermercy]

If 100 couples were in a movie theater when shooting broke out, 75 of the men would shield the women with their body, regardless of what the women looked like. Not one woman would do likewise.

Seriously now!? Meta-analytical science-based stats or didn't happen. Also, based only on the recent shootings the protectors were always women.

Edited February 15, 2013 by silvermercy

[Taramere]

If 100 couples were in a movie theater when shooting broke out, 75 of the men would shield the women with their body, regardless of what the women looked like.

 

The other 25 would boast on the internet about how courageous, chivalrous and selfless men are.

[Archgirl]

The other 25 would boast on the internet about how courageous, chivalrous and selfless men are.

 

and then complain about how hard it was to get dates and how they never get any replies from women online because they think they're better looking than they really are and then probably devise some sort of female attractiveness ranking scheme to make themselves feel better and then...GO TO BED ALONE AGAIN.

[Els]

Does anyone else see the irony in this post? "Ha, you're all doomed to be alone because you're not settling for guys like me! I'm alone too and it's all your fault that I'm alone! What do you mean you're happy and not actually alone? You can't be, because I'm alone!"

[iris219]

IME, women underestimate their attractiveness. We are incredibly hard on ourselves when it comes to appearance.

[JuneJulySeptember]

So much WTF in this thread I don't even know where to start.

 

Who are YOU to judge how anyone else feels about themselves?

 

I'll say this much...I'd rather be someone with an OVERinflated view of myself than be someone who is a self deprecator.

 

At least confidence is attractive in some way...low self esteem is NEVER attractive in ANY scenario.

 

I disagree. Confidence bordering on arrogance is very unattractive to me.

 

If some woman I met at a bar were to say something to me to the effect of "I'm hot. I know it. And I deserve a hot guy."

 

Automatically nexted. Too old these days to deal with that attitude. On the other hand, if a gal were to think she were not that pretty, but was confident in what kind of a person she was, and what she had accomplished education and career wise, that's better.

 

Of course, the IN-BETWEEN is the ideal. Yea. I think I'm OK, nothing special, average. To me, it's a lot better to have a person DISCOVER how special you are instead of you shouting it around town.

 

IMO pound for pound, the hottest female on LS (of those who have posted their pics) is also one of the humblest. That says a lot.

[Els]

Of course, the IN-BETWEEN is the ideal. Yea. I think I'm OK, nothing special, average. To me, it's a lot better to have a person DISCOVER how special you are instead of you shouting it around town.

 

IMO pound for pound, the hottest female on LS (of those who have posted their pics) is also one of the humblest. That says a lot.

 

Nobody's talking about shouting it around town. If you meet that many women who go around perpetually talking about how hot they are, you've got a pretty messed-up social circle. Arrogance is actually more common in men than in women, probably because of gross misinterpretation of 'women like confidence' to mean 'women like arrogance'.

 

KFJ was talking about how people view themselves, which is what the OP found so distasteful - women who have the self-confidence to not settle for a man they're not attracted to because they apparently 'overestimate themselves'. Whom anyone chooses to date is their own damn business and entirely unrelated to arrogance.

 

I'm not sure who you think the hottest woman on LS is, as I'm sure we all have differing opinions on that, but the hottest guys on LS are also among the least arrogant, IMO. So I'm not sure what you were trying to prove by that statement.