New2Love4Now Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 So... I got dumped for the first time by someone I really loved and handled the situation terribly. I did the begging, crying, pleading, and basically degraded myself and made myself look really insecure. It ended with her ignoring me. Anyway, it's a long story but in the end I made it seem like I was mad at her because I deleted a very long message I had written to her in a Google document with a bunch of nice things in it. I deleted it because in the message I had myself look very desperate, but I know for sure that she believes I deleted it out of spite for her not wanting to talk to me. I hope that made sense I don't really want to write out the whole story it's complicated. Anyway... that was 2 weeks ago and I haven't talked to her since. I'm wondering if I should write a message to her just explaining what happened because as of now I probably look very immature and just pathetic because it looks as if I insulted her for not wanting to talk to me/be with me. I just feel as if she thinks I'm scum right now. All I want to do is end on good terms so she doesn't remember me as an @sshole. I'm thinking about just sending an email explaining myself, and I know that she will not see this message for a long time, maybe even never since she only used this email to speak with me... and she definitely has no interest in doing that now. Does it seem like a good idea to break No Contact in this case? If I don't wish to get her back but to just end on good terms with her? I asked a similar question last week but I don't feel like I explained the situation very well and would like some more opinions. Thanks
Sexy Teddy Bear Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 No, absolutely do not contact her. There is no need. She decided she didn't want to be with you. You said that she began ignoring you also. This indicates that she doesn't want to talk to you and just wants to be left alone. It will make you feel like s**t, i know. I was just recently dumped. We were almost at our two year anniversary, but she said that she didn't love me anymore. Read my post "After almost 2 years, she ends it" for the full story. I went only one week with no contact. I tried to contact her so we could be friends cause I feel as if I can't live without her in my life. And she ended up telling me that she was happy without me in her life. She didn't want me in her life at all. So no, don't try to contact her. It will most likely only cause more pain as it did for me.
Author New2Love4Now Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 I understand what you're saying and I was very prepared to begin No Contact after sending my last text messages to this girl and being ignored. I felt great but after a week I noticed that she had deleted everything nice that she had written in the Google document after seeing that I deleted mine. To her it looks like I got mad for her not wanting to talk and tried to get back at her in a way by deleting everything I had written. I just hate that she has this perception of me that isn't true. Would it be okay if I waited a few more weeks and then sent the message so she can at least know the truth? This is also a LDR so I will never see her again and likely never speak to her again. I can't help but think it would be better if I left her with a friendly message so she knows the truth and doesn't base her opinion of me on of a misunderstanding for the rest of her life.
Sexy Teddy Bear Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Well, I can't say for certain how your ex feels. But I can say that if I had done the same thing that you did with my ex, she would not have cared. It's very disconcerting to know that she would be over me that quickly. Even more so considering how serious we were about each other. And it pains me incredibly to admit that she simply does not care about me anymore. So anything I do that she would notice - such as deleting a Google document - she simply wouldn't give a damn about. Mine was a LDR as well, so I know how you feel. It sucks knowing that you will never see her again. But the hard truth (very hard truth) is that my ex for certain, and possibly yours, simply don't care what we do anymore. So worrying whether or not she has the right 'opinion' of you is irrelevant and will probably only cause more hurt than good. But like I said, I don't know how your ex feels. I'm only basing this off of what I know about my ex.
coffeebean201 Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 I think you are on the right path. Even if it is long distance, the feelings are the same. Maybe clear it up with a short message maybe something like this - "hope you had a great Valentine's day and sorry about the mess with the document. Hope you have a great weekend." And then lots of time for both to heal. And don't expect a response to your message.
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