My ex did something not very nice on Vday.

[bohica]

Hey

 

Me and my girlfriend broke up a few months ago and last spoke several weeks ago. The relationship didn't end terrible but should have ended a while ago so it was strung out. Mostly on my part. It was one of those we should stop communicating deals.

 

Anyway, I miss her a lot and often think about her.

 

I am a business owner that occasionally sends email ad campaigns to over

300 subscribers. I use a third party email list company. She has always been a part of that distribution. Not even thinking about it I sent a campaign out today. When I got my first report back it said she unsubscribed but not only did she unsubscribe she actually wrote in the comment section as to why...she wrote "not interested anymore'.

As if I didn't know that!

 

This really bothers me and I feel like telling her. I still think, Did she have to do that? On Valentines day no less. Should I say something?

 

It kind of sums things up for us and why were not together but I still want to send her an email.

 

Thanks

[Sexy Teddy Bear]

Just coming out of a long relationship myself, I can't offer much advice. But I think most will agree that you should just ignore that comment and continue with your life. It was certainly unnecessary for her to do that, it was clearly directed at you and she knew you would see it. Just ignore it. That's the best thing you can do. If you try to contact her you are only going to tear open old wounds.

[newsbug]

Do you think it will really matter if you tell her it was crappy that she did that? Do you think the outcome will make you feel better or will you still feel hurt? I think if you've made it two weeks with NC then you should just stick with it. It sucks but if you want to move forward then that's what you need to do. Telling her off may feel good for the moment but then it will just leave you empty.

[Almond_Joy]

I think if you email her you'll just be sparking the embers of a quarrel that will lead you right back to where you are right now. She probably knew it would make you angry and is expecting you to take the bait and reach out to her. That will be validation in her eye that she still has influence over your feelings.

 

Don't take the bait, just leave it.

[coltsfan1]

Almond is correct, don't take the bait. But I must ask this, did she have to fill out the comment section in order to unsubscribe? Some of the 3rd party vendors do that to keep up quality control & to get feed back to better support users (I work in IS).

[bohica]

did she have to fill out the comment section in order to unsubscribe? Some of the 3rd party vendors do that to keep up quality control & to get feed back to better support users (I work in IS).

 

They do not require it. MailChimp. I get unsubscribes from time to time and most have no comment or just say not specified. I think it's a check box.

Not sure.

 

Thanks

[bohica]

I seriously doubt she did it on purpose. She isn't like that. She made me feel a long time ago that she was long over me and it doesn't matter what day it is. It could be Christmas. Holidays mean nothing to her. They have no meaning. It's the way she was raised and treated by her former lovers. Plus she is very self centered these days. It doesn't faze her. How someone might feel or how something might be received in spite of it's intentions don't matter. That idea, that very concept, or ideal don't exist.

 

 

one thing on my mind is that I was recently asked to interview for a job where she works. With the market place the way it is today and the fact that my business is slow I don't see how I can turn away from that.

Edited February 15, 2013 by bohica

[Almond_Joy]

Oh dear.

 

The ex of my last serious relationship is just like that. In the end, what they want and need reigns supreme, nothing else matters. Telling her about your offense will go in one ear and right out the other.

 

If you decide to go after that job and you get it, do NOT let this girl's actions affect you and do NOT rekindle an association with her. That kind of me-first mentality takes YEARS to blow over **if** it ever does, unless something traumatic happens to them. While her desires reign supreme you will always be secondary, an afterthought. She cannot care about you the same way you care/cared about her if that's how she operates.

[bohica]

Yes, the problem became precisely that. I was always put last. Last behind everyone.

It wasn't like that for the first year. We had our issues and certain barriers that were tough (she, recently div. stalker wanna be mafia ex, child, strict mid eastern fam) to deal but she was crazy about me, made time for me, missed me when I wasn't around, was open to new experiences. She was my best friend but yet I always came last. She then redeveloped a friendship with a girlfriend of hers and I was pushed even further back in line. The passion faded, the compassion was lost, She became more distant, less excited and made no effort for concessions. She became another person or did she? I finally told her I can't be put last all the time anymore and I felt we had a one side relationship.

Now I feel like I didn't even know her.

[Seeking Happiness]

I'm sorry to hear about what had happened to you regarding that email. Valentine's Day could be a tough one for anyone who is just dealing with a break up.

 

A lot of times us ladies are looking for some kind of sign that out Ex boytfriends still care about us. Whether we would like to have a relationship with our ex's or not.

 

I could be wrong here but your ex girlfriend might be disappointed in the fact there was no real message from you. The messages are sent out to anyone. The Reaction she sent might just lead me to believe that she is looking for a reaction from you. I guess to see if you care.

 

If she really didn't care at all she would have just ignored the random message and just had moved on.

 

If you still care about her, try to respond in a nice way. If you don't want her back just leave it alone and let her move on. Time heals all wounds.

 

Have a good one!. I hope this helps:rolleyes:

[KraftDinner]

Hmm....yeah. I use Mailchimp and send newsletters to 12,400 people daily and every day, we get a few new subscribes and the odd unsubscribe. With the unsubscribes,we pretty much NEVER get comments.

 

So yeah, it is definitely a message to you.

 

But just like mailchimp says when someone unsubscribes --"you've had a few peeps jump ship today. But who needs 'em anyway?" -- you don't need 'er.

[bohica]

 

A lot of times us ladies are looking for some kind of sign that out Ex boytfriends still care about us. Whether we would like to have a relationship with our ex's or not.

 

I could be wrong here but your ex girlfriend might be disappointed in the fact there was no real message from you. The messages are sent out to anyone. The Reaction she sent might just lead me to believe that she is looking for a reaction from you. I guess to see if you care.

 

If she really didn't care at all she would have just ignored the random message and just had moved on.

 

If you still care about her, try to respond in a nice way. If you don't want her back just leave it alone and let her move on. Time heals all wounds.

 

Have a good one!. I hope this helps:rolleyes:

 

Thank you, very Insightful response but she had lead me to believe she isn't the type. Her brain doesn't unction that way. (read my past response) Additionally, others have said (I tend to believe) that a response from me is only letting her know I care and that she still has control over my emotions which would be in my best interest. Just hers.

[bohica]

So yeah, it is definitely a message to you.

 

But just like mailchimp says when someone unsubscribes --"you've had a few peeps jump ship today. But who needs 'em anyway?" -- you don't need 'er.

 

Very funny. I love those mailchimp messages.....VERY True though.

[destroyed4sho]

Just means she is hurting and wanted to tell you....nothing more or less.

[Seeking Happiness]

It doesn't really matter what people tell you about their personality. All of that goes out the window when someone is hurt.

 

She is most likely looking for a response. If you want control of your emotions it's best not to reply. It is better for you because you are in control of your actions and were strong enough to take the high road.

 

That's always a good thing!

[daylight]

Lol, that's kinda funny in a mean way. Sorry, it just is. You gotta find the humor in it or it'll kill you. I know it hurts and I can almost guarantee she did it on purpose if she knows a lot about how you handle your business and that you would be checking those messages as part of your business.

 

If she doesn't know anything about your business and is computer illiterate then I wouldn't take it personally. She didn't mean it on purpose and maybe she even forgot that you owned that email list. Or if it was one of those drop down menu selections where you select the reason you wish to unsubcribe from pre-determined answers.

 

Don't bring it up at all, ignore it no matter what. She'll probably think you are a psycho if you do. My guess is that it won't end there if she did it on purpose, I'm sure there will be more passive aggressive attempts like that to get back at you. Only respond to the very obvious ones, such as a nasty text message or email.

[bohica]

Thanks everyone. Part of me thinks I read into it too much. It just came at an funny time for me.

I didn't think it was in her to do something that would get a reaction out of me. All indications where it isn't a trait she carries. Damn, I should be happy she showed signs of being human. I send these emails blasts occasionally and on holidays so maybe it pissed her off that it was VDay. In all honesty in my mind she's probably seeing someone.

Thanks again to everyone for all the feed back and encouragement.

[ScienceGal]

You're reading too much into it. She likely just doesn't want the emails anymore. And even if the comment is directed at you, let it go. She might've been having a bad day. Not worth opening anything up again.