R_Pheonix Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 This guy and I have been talking and we really hit it off but when I mentioned having a relationship he told me how his ex broke his heart and he's afraid to love and isn't ready. I accepted that and remained friends with him but the other day I logged onto fb and saw he posted a pic of himself and his new gf saying nobody understands him like she does and he loves her. I was upset and told him that it would have been different if he just said he didn't want to be with me personally but he lied and said that he didn't want anybody. When I confronted him about this he said "it just happened" and he's begging me to stay his friend and that because we are from different cultures his parents will never accept me. I'm just so confused about everything because I know he likes me but I understand him not wanting to hurt his parents but if he knew this from the beginning why did he lead me on? What is he gaining by remaining friends with me? Perhaps he will have a relationship with his new gf and an emotional one with me? I still have feelings for him but I don't know if I can handle just being his friend and him still being with his new gf. He was crying about all of this and desperately wants to remain friends and said that he doesn't agree with his parents backwardness but he wants their blessing for his future marriage etc. I just feel like he led me on and played mind games and even though he said he wasn't ready he would always get upset if I couldn't answer the phone and would say things like "I miss you you're growing on me" He even said he wishes he met me sooner because he would have fallen in love with me. Please give me your opinions about all of this I'm so confused -_-
pteromom Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 1. Change is scary to him, so the idea of you just disappearing is scary. 2. He likes keeping you as an option because he knows you like him. 3. Of course he doesn't really want you. If he did, he wouldn't be gushing over his new gf. He wants to keep you around as a back-up. 4. Since you still have feelings for him, being friends isn't a smart move. Go NC and move on. It won't be easy, but it's for the best.
Ami1uwant Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 As the other poster said..... I dont know why exactly....he didnt want you either: 1. parents would approve because of mixed race/ethnicity. thgis is rather common. It isnt necessarily racism as in white with black but also with nationality. My GF is from one latin country and her father told her hed disown her if she married a mexican. 2. He liked you but wasnt attracted to you. Something about you he didnt like...but he likes you as a friend. 3. He was attracted to you but saw some fundamental difference in a relationship happening like because you two had different religions which would be a big issue in child raising. 4. since you didnt give any sort of timeline between he turning you down and he having this other woman...It is possible he wasnt ready for you but was ready for her. He also could have read that you wanted "very serious relationship" while she wanted something "fun and casual" sometimes timing is everything. If you hit it off a week after he broke up he wasnt ready---he met her a month later he was ready. You dont know until you try a relationship hat on and see. If you still have feelings for him you have to do No contact and move on for a bit. You can still be friends later---now is not a good time.
TaraMaiden Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 I'm sorry, but he is being selfish, cruel and very unfair. He can't both not want you, but still have you - it's not the right way to behave. he protests that his parents would not approve of your relationship because of cultural differences - but would they approve of his behaviour in having a girlfriend AND pulling your guilt-strap to make you stay close, just for his convenience? I know you have strong feelings for him, but he is abusing your good nature, kindness and affection - Do not let anyone tread on your dreams and crush them, simply because they believe you will let them! Go complete No Contact, from this instant! Read the link in my signature to learn how.....
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