j_nelson Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 After a break up, would you tell your ex the truth if you were seeing someone else?
Mr Spock Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 Since my last ex lives in a different town, probably not unless he directly asked me.
Velveteel Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 It depends on your motive. If you want to spare your ex's feelings, you could just say you don't want to talk about each other's personal lives for a while. If this was a very recent break-up, I think it would be kinder not to tell the truth--unless your ex is pursuing you, and you need to deliver a very clear message that you've moved on. Not a good idea in general, I think, to share personal details with a recent ex. It keeps you too involved in each other's lives, and can be incredibly hurtful, even if you no longer want to be with your ex.
joeyNoelle Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 We study in the same building and have the occasional conversation and are generally friendly , plus any functions that are on we are both at so if i started seeing someone else he would probably find out about it, I'm not sure if i would just go up to him and tell him though.
HokeyReligions Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 AFTER a breakup you are free to see whomever you want so I don't see what it would accomplish to tell an ex about it, unless you and the ex are still in contact. If you are still friends and the breakup was amiable, then I think I would want to know. I'm trying to put myself in place of the ex. If I were in school and my bf broke up with me, and we ran into each other or shared a class or something, I think I would want to be forwarned if we showed up at the same club or party and I saw a new woman on his arm. OTOH I can imagine my husband not caring because once its over, its over.
dyermaker Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 Another question is -- would you lie and say you were when you weren't?
Author j_nelson Posted September 1, 2004 Author Posted September 1, 2004 I definitely wouldn't...I wouldn't go out of my way to mention someone else, but if I was asked I would be honest!
tiki Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 Upon questioning, always resort to the truth. Use the don't ask don't tell policy, he/she's your EX.
YellowLioness Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 well, it also depends on how long after the break up that this occurs. If it was right after, and I was rebounding, I'd probably opt for the I-don't-wanna-talk-about-this method. If we had been broken up for a long time, then yeah, I'd tell them. At that point, I would see them more as old friends then exes, and sharing personal information is fine.
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