mlcj69 Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 It's been almost a week since she has dumped me. She didnt exactly have one solid reason but she just said she "felt" like she needed to. She is not exactly sure what she wants. Wether to stay in a committed relationship with me, or see what it's like out there and understanding there's really no turning back after that. (We both have never experienced a real relationship besides each other) Well.... This guy is really likes her. He has been over her house twice since we broke up. JUST to hang out apparently. She SAYS she friend zoned him. But that does not mean he will respect that. I trust her, somewhat. Not him. But I have a feeling that she is hanging out with this guy to see what he's really like. She says he's a decent guy and if she makes the decision to see other people, he might be someone she would want to date. But she says she wouldn't date anyone right away because she wouldn't be over me. She wants to remain friends and accepts the fact that we would drift away, which is already happening. Is she waiting to be over me or for us to almost drift away to make her decision? She obviously has some sort of interest in him, wether she says she doesn't or does. I understand it's an innocent hangout. But hangin out more and talking to him more etc, just pressures her into making the decision of seeing what it's like out there. I wouldn't care if they would hang out if she decided what she wanted. But seeing how she doesn't know what she wants she should tell herself "ok this guy really likes me. Let me step back from him and reassess myself". It's just not right having someone over while we are going through this and KNOWING he likes her. A LOT. To me it sounds like she is leading me on. I asked her. And I know of course she will either ignore it or change the subject some how. I just might be overthinking it who knows. But this really isn't the right time to be hanging out withsome you know would want more than friends with you. I understand I can't control her and we are broken up, but she should really use her best judgment as to what is going on. And it's like she doesn't see it. I want things to be solved BEFORE she realizes the mistake. I know she can't make mistakes without experience, but she should open her eyes and not focus on her social life so much and focus what is happening between us. The social life can be out on hold for a little. I know it's been a week and it's a big decision to make. But this is just really leading me on and me wondering what she is really thinking. I've really have been trying my best not to pressure her, but I feel like we need to talk about it. But SHE doesn't want to tell me exactly what she's feeling. She says she doesn't know. It just leaves me really confused and wanting answers and I just freak out as to what's going on we agreed to not talk for a week and see where we are. But it's only been two days and we both check up on each other to see how we are doing. What I think, break it off with me. It's really getting close to REALLY damaging what we had. Not even sure if things would go back to normal.
TaraMaiden Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 *Harsh Post* Back off. This is none of your business. You're broken up, she's your ex and has a right to do what she feels like doing. You should disappear, fall off her radar and not think you have any right to interfere, meddle or give your opinion. Go No Contact and stay away from her. It doesn't matter whether she 's confused, doesn't know what she wants, feels wobbly.... You being around makes it worse. All she knows is that she doesn't want to be with you. And you should get that through your head. She HAS chose. It's just not you. Perhaps it's not that she can't make her mind up - perhaps it's that actually, she has, but she doesn't want to 'hurt you' so she's trying to let you down gently. But you keep clinging, like an octopus, to her arm, when all she's trying to do is to put you back into the sea..... leave her alone, completely. Then she won't feel so pulled. And if she goes 'that' way, instead of comes 'this' way? Deal with it, suck it up, accept it and move on. But right now, No Contact will do you the biggest favour of your life. By doing her the biggest favour of hers. *End of harsh post*.
Author mlcj69 Posted February 14, 2013 Author Posted February 14, 2013 *Harsh Post* Back off. This is none of your business. You're broken up, she's your ex and has a right to do what she feels like doing. You should disappear, fall off her radar and not think you have any right to interfere, meddle or give your opinion. Go No Contact and stay away from her. It doesn't matter whether she 's confused, doesn't know what she wants, feels wobbly.... You being around makes it worse. All she knows is that she doesn't want to be with you. And you should get that through your head. She HAS chose. It's just not you. Perhaps it's not that she can't make her mind up - perhaps it's that actually, she has, but she doesn't want to 'hurt you' so she's trying to let you down gently. But you keep clinging, like an octopus, to her arm, when all she's trying to do is to put you back into the sea..... leave her alone, completely. Then she won't feel so pulled. And if she goes 'that' way, instead of comes 'this' way? Deal with it, suck it up, accept it and move on. But right now, No Contact will do you the biggest favour of your life. By doing her the biggest favour of hers. *End of harsh post*. I've already accepted it. I even told her "as of now, you aren't coming back so that's what I'm telling myself". And then she gets mad because I just want to "throw away" this best friend relationship. She may be my best friend, but really she isn't. Not after what's goin on. SHE is clinging on to me. Yes I may be being pulled in, but that's because I give in hoping there is some hope between us. But then I just go crashing down again. And I told her no contact will get me to get over you faster and won't have this problem of going backward of getting over each other. We are BOTH to blame really. I don't want this to end on the wrong foot. Then we live our life thinking we were a mistake. And it wasn't. We have learned.
TaraMaiden Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Read the No Contact Guide in my signature (updated 2013 link) and learn the agony and yet simply more agony of 'breadcrumbs'. Go NC, stay NC and do not, under any circumstances whatsoever, no matter what the temptation or provocation, ever, EVER break it again. Ever. EVER.
Author mlcj69 Posted February 14, 2013 Author Posted February 14, 2013 Read the No Contact Guide in my signature (updated 2013 link) and learn the agony and yet simply more agony of 'breadcrumbs'. Go NC, stay NC and do not, under any circumstances whatsoever, no matter what the temptation or provocation, ever, EVER break it again. Ever. EVER. I'm sure this is a really bad idea but I told her I NEED and answer TODAY. Final. If she says "idk or I don't want to be with you". I'm cutting her off. I don't care anymore. I didn't tell her, but that's what I'm doing. She's really lucky I'm even giving her this chance. All the chances I've given her. She's ****ing selfish and only looking after herself. I'm really tired of it.
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