Men and ugly women

[Leigh 87]

I'm sorry, but I can't get behind the idea of someone being "objectively" attractive. There is no such thing. Your face might be symmetrical and your waist-to-hip ratio might be that .67 or whatever, but there will still be people who won't find you attractive, and vice versa.

 

I'm wasting my breath saying this time and again, aren't I?

 

 

 

 

EXACTLY!!!!!

 

There is NO WAY I will EVER think " ahhh I look hot rightnow, I am finally "univesally" attractive, aka, HOT to most people out there!

 

I Literally have women come up to me, when I am at a bar or venue, and say " wow, your pretty!"

 

In general, I go places and there are always guys who look twice at me.

 

ANywhere I go, there are at least SOME men who think I am pretty/hot.

 

BUT: There are PLENTY of guys who do find me ugly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

And there always will be.

 

Seriously! VERY few people are THAT attractive, that every one thinks as such.

[Treasa]

EXACTLY!!!!!

 

There is NO WAY I will EVER think " ahhh I look hot rightnow, I am finally "univesally" attractive, aka, HOT to most people out there!

 

I Literally have women come up to me, when I am at a bar or venue, and say " wow, your pretty!"

 

In general, I go places and there are always guys who look twice at me.

 

ANywhere I go, there are at least SOME men who think I am pretty/hot.

 

BUT: There are PLENTY of guys who do find me ugly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

And there always will be.

 

Seriously! VERY few people are THAT attractive, that every one thinks as such.

 

You're very pretty, sweetie.

[KungFuJoe]

Op,

 

The reason you feel the way you do is very simple:

 

You have self esteem issues...or just generally low self esteem.

 

Now, I know you've said that you KNOW you're attractive, etc, etc. But I think that "belief" in your own self beauty is fragile. It's like you TELL yourself you're good looking, but deep down inside, you don't really believe it, thus it's easy for your own self image to be so easily shattered just from your bf having been with women you deem as less attractive.

 

Now, you might think I'm off my rocker, and that's fine...but think of it this way. You are letting your image of yourself be altered...not by DIRECT claims, but by residual effect.

 

In other words...it's not like people are walking up to you calling you ugly. That would be one thing. But, you feel bad about yourself just because a guy you're dating had dated women you find unattractive in the past. That is the definition of a fragile ego.

 

I would be concerned about your attitude...it's not generally considered a "healthy" one and can lead to jealousy and resentment towards your partner...which sounds like you already have.

[ScreamingTrees]

Would you say he lacks confidence or has low slef-esteem?

 

Would you say that perhaps the OP is incredibly jealous and insecure and perhaps not all of these girls are as short and fat and ugly as she makes them out to be? Maybe he liked their personalities and the way they talked or carried themselves?

 

Personally, I'm not attracted to overweight women, but I'm not overweight myself, so I can bring what I want to the table myself. That's my only real deal breaker. If I like the girl's overall package, she may be unconventionally attractive but to me she'd be totally hot. She could be missing an eye, have wooden teeth, but if I liked her enough, that wouldn't matter. (Well, I'd probably urge her to get new dentures if hers are made of wood.. lol)

 

If he HAD low self esteem, it'd only make sense that he's with a girl who, although equally as "attractive" as him, whatever that even means, is just as insecure with equally low self esteem.

 

It seems pretty bitchy to talk trash about another person like that, who really did nothing to you. Sounds like jealousy. Maybe she'd wished that he was with an unnaturally beautiful model-esque looking girl, but if she feels he himself is objectively attractive regardless of who he chooses to be with, and he chose her, what more does she want? He chose her. Maybe she should be happy that the guy isn't shallow.. (Unless he really is as insecure as her, and that's the real reason in actuality..)

[todreaminblue]

Ok, as a disclaimer, I know that I'm a terrible person. I'm using the anonymity of the internet to make a confession. If you want to flame me for this, go to town. I'm curious if anyone else feels this way.

 

I'm an attractive woman -- i dont really feel like it, but objectively I know that I'm considered very attractive. My boyfriend is also a very good looking guy. We're often told how well matched we are and that we look good together.

 

My bf has also had sex with a bunch of really unattractive women. We ran into one last night at a club -- they had some kind of ongoing FWB situation. After he started dating me he cut off contact. She came over to say hi, he politely said hi and introduced me, and that was that. Well this woman is downright busted -- short, overweight, stringy greasy hair, and BRACES (we're in our 30's). I know of various others that are awful looking, too. I'm talking 2s and 3s. He also dated someone who was very unattractive, and who he describes as very pretty.

 

I know I'm an ******* but it makes me feel less attractive -- like when he tells me how beautiful I am it's empty, because if those women are attractive, it's just not saying much. I get that men can have very low standards about who they have sex with, and higher standards about who they date, but other than 1 other gf he's only dated women significantly below him. Also, I've asked him if he was attracted to the unattractive women he slept with, he says yes.

 

Can any guys explain this phenomenon to me? Any women get how I feel?

 

I'll get past this I know, and as time passes it will be totally irrelevant -- 5 years from now i wont care who he banged. But about a year in it makes me feel ... icky:o

 

 

maybe he thinks her pretty not in a conventional way, maybe her heart is what makes her attractive, maybe he is attracted to the whole package not just the skin she is in, if you have a guy like that....rejoice...stop judging..that is a guy who will stick by you through thick....or not so thin........deb

[Leigh 87]

The OP IS right, in the sense that you CAN pretty much look at women around you, and instantly think " hmm their attractive" or " wow, I am more attractive than them"

 

Wheather she is right or not, is irrelevant then; SHE saw these women and got a feeling of " geez, ya know, people around me say I am hot a lot, and well, these women would not get that sort of attention from men"

 

I think you can tell if a person is not that special look wise.

 

You also have to know that there are exceptions.

 

...........................................

 

 

I personally know the girls my own boyfriend would look at and be like " oh, their nothiing special"

 

.....How well does the OP know her boyfriend?

 

...........................................

 

What does it mean though, for the OP?

 

Well, her boyfriend is either insecure, or just not a shallow guy!

 

OR, he knowingly bangs and has casual relations with women he is not all that attracted to, and only has propper relationships with women who are pretty?

 

AGAIN, pretty is a broad term!

 

But yes, OP, your likely to have more guys look at you, and think your pretty, than think that about the " unattractive" girls.

[DazedConfusedEtc]

One of my first boyfriends in high school cheated on me with two extremely obese women (all in the same night). Why? Because he could. It was no challenge for him. I think there are times when some men find themselves in this mindset.

 

However, in general, I don't really like judging people on looks. IMO, a really crappy personality can trump out physical beauty. I don't think you're a bad person, but I can see that you are struggling with this. I remember your prior posts, and I feel for you. I believe you are hurt (and rightfully so) by your boyfriend's past sexcapades being inadvertently rubbed in your face. I don't think I know ANY women who would handle that well. However, if he truly is doing his part to make things right, you need to decide whether you can let this go or not. If it is going to cause you continuous suffering, you may need to reconsider this relationship.

 

THANK YOU for this, seriously. You're totally right. I'm not suffering or something, this was a vent. Still it feels really good to know someone gets it.

 

 

 

To all of you who think you deserve some kind of award for being the Sherlock Holmes or Dr Phil or some ish of LS, go ahead and pat yourself on the back for your incredible insightfulness. Seeing that I've admitted for having an eating disorder for 12 years, it's pretty safe to say that I'm insecure. That I have little sense of my worth, and that my body image is a disaster. Taking this in a direction of telling me I'm unattractive is obviously very helpful. I think you should write a case study of your incredible findings and publish it in the APA journal.

 

The flames about how I'm unattractive and a bad person for caring about looks because we're all beautiful and unique snowflakes were expected. Silly and misguided but expected.

 

I like how people jump to the opinion that the unattractive ex had an awesome personality because we want to support the underdog or something -- nope, he wasn't into her personality, thus the relationship was short lived.

 

Anyway, it felt good to vent. Again this is not relevant long term -- as time goes by past flings matter less and less. Why matters is what we have which is phenomenal. The consensus among my guy friends is that they'll tell me about banging 2s but would never admit it to their gf's -- I think this is the most plausible explanation.

 

Btw I make no claims of being a VS model or something. I have my flaws and imperfections, some of which people find attractive and some they don't. Oh well. None of you have seen me, met me, had any interaction with me in a medium other than this one but go ahead and judge me and tell me I'm unattractive while telling me it's wrong to call people unattractive and we should only care about what's on the "inside". Lets see you go on a blind date with someone who has a "great personality" and pimples, adult braces, and an underbite. You know, because true beauty had nothing to do with outwards appearance, right?

[Taramere]

That's the thing, he's very kind and compliments me all of the time. He tells me that i'm beautiful, how much he likes my body. I recovered from an eating disorder that i had for 12 years while with him, to say that i am not the queen of confidence would be the understatement of the year. I also gained 8 kilos while with him which wasn't easy for me, but i needed to do it to be healthy. He's always been very supportive and he tells me how pretty i am, how much he likes my body. This is why I know that I'm a douche because this bothers me -- it shouldnt.

 

That's a long time to have an eating disorder. A friend of mine has had an eating disorder for decades, and as far as she's concerned any woman who isn't anorexic is fat and ugly. She'll generally keep quiet about that in order to avoid hurting other people's feelings, but sometimes she's admitted to me that that's the way she thinks. She watches a ballet or one of those "Next Top Model" shows and gets angry because she thinks the girls are too fat.

 

Very skewed thinking, but not uncommon among people who have been embroiled in the fashion industry or in ballet. Some men might like women to be as thin as gay men and anorexic women in the fashion industry think they should be...but I think those men are the exception rather than the rule.

 

Real life, ordinary man probably likes women to a bit chunkier than you personally might consider even passably attractive. I wonder if as somebody who suffered from an eating disorder for a long time, you might be prone to being overly judgemental not just towards yourself but towards other women too.

[Leigh 87]

Dazed and confused,

 

I also recovered from a long term eating disorder since meeting my bf.

 

I went from 50 kilos, to 62 at my heaviest, and have settled back to 60 kilos.

 

Well done on your recovery:)

 

I have been told I am not attractive now; my face is fuller, even if my body is not "thin" anymore.

[Leigh 87]

That's a long time to have an eating disorder. A friend of mine has had an eating disorder for decades, and as far as she's concerned any woman who isn't anorexic is fat and ugly. She'll generally keep quiet about that in order to avoid hurting other people's feelings, but sometimes she's admitted to me that that's the way she thinks. She watches a ballet or one of those "Next Top Model" shows and gets angry because she thinks the girls are too fat.

 

Very skewed thinking, but not uncommon among people who have been embroiled in the fashion industry or in ballet. Some men might like women to be as thin as gay men and anorexic women in the fashion industry think they should be...but I think those men are the exception rather than the rule.

 

Real life, ordinary man probably likes women to a bit chunkier than you personally might consider even passably attractive. I wonder if as somebody who suffered from an eating disorder for a long time, you might be prone to being overly judgemental not just towards yourself but towards other women too.

 

 

 

 

SOOOOOO true.

 

I admit, I once thought women who had a BMI of 20 or more were fat.

 

I would look at perfectly slim women, and think wow thank god I am thinner than THAT....

 

 

It is a REALLLLLLLLLLY erally REALLLY unhealthy way to view other women...

 

I am over it now, because my body has been its natural weight for some time.

 

I had to not work out and eat 3000 calories for a while, to reach my set point, before my way of skewed thinking changed somewhat.

 

You have to stay at a high enough weight, and for a long enough period, for those abnormal thoughts to dissipate.

 

I am slightly heavier than I could be, but I found it really helped me staighten out the way I thought and viewed other women.

[ScreamingTrees]

Oh well. So, your boyfriend went out with ugly fatties. What do you want from us? To agree that they were subhuman pieces of trash because they were fat and ugly, so you can feel better about yourself? I don't understand. Sure, you can vent, but it's no different than the delusional guys on here who whine about how every girl finds them hideous and they're genetically destined to die alone.

 

I can't be bothered to personally follow every individual poster's life story through multiple threads. Maybe eventually you can realize that it's your insecurity that is causing these holier-than-thou, snobby, elitist thoughts.

 

He's with you at the end of the day, so it's easier said than done, but if the guy is important enough to you, you'll have to let it go.

 

I will say, that if you're in love with a guy who sounds like he could string along women just to have cheap thrills, (their attractiveness is irrelevant), then good for you. You did choose the guy, but I do sympathize with you to an extent, though.. I mean, who's to say he c/would/isn't doing that to you? Doesn't matter how pretty or ugly you are.

[venusianx13]

I have faith that people CAN and DO change, but not because they meet someone who forces them to, but on their OWN accord, a wish from within their own hearts. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. I say this in reference to the OP's boyfriend, and his past.

 

Now, for whatever other tangents responses to this post took, the bottom line is that the OP is struggling. I thought for a second about some insecurities I've had, myself, when confronted with the realities about boyfriends' exes (running into them, and so forth), and then magnified it, because that is what I imagine OP must be going through. It's immense. She obviously doesn't like the reminders, and who would? Honestly, I don't think I'd bode very well in her situation. But then again, I also have self-esteem and security issues. That said, though, OP... you're pretty damned strong. And I'm sure, despite your residual insecurities after your struggles with your body image, that your boyfriend sees you as a prize; an upgrade beyond compare.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Lets see you go on a blind date with someone who has a "great personality" and pimples, adult braces, and an underbite. You know, because true beauty had nothing to do with outwards appearance, right?

 

Bring it on!

[e40]

Btw I make no claims of being a VS model or something. I have my flaws and imperfections, some of which people find attractive and some they don't. Oh well. None of you have seen me, met me, had any interaction with me in a medium other than this one but go ahead and judge me and tell me I'm unattractive while telling me it's wrong to call people unattractive and we should only care about what's on the "inside". Lets see you go on a blind date with someone who has a "great personality" and pimples, adult braces, and an underbite. You know, because true beauty had nothing to do with outwards appearance, right?

Great personality, some pimples, braces and an underbite doesn't sound that bad. The braces may fix the underbite too.

[ChatroomHero]

 

The flames about how I'm unattractive and a bad person for caring about looks because we're all beautiful and unique snowflakes were expected. Silly and misguided but expected.

 

I like how people jump to the opinion that the unattractive ex had an awesome personality because we want to support the underdog or something -- nope, he wasn't into her personality, thus the relationship was short lived.

 

Btw I make no claims of being a VS model or something. I have my flaws and imperfections, some of which people find attractive and some they don't. Oh well. None of you have seen me, met me, had any interaction with me in a medium other than this one but go ahead and judge me and tell me I'm unattractive while telling me it's wrong to call people unattractive and we should only care about what's on the "inside". Lets see you go on a blind date with someone who has a "great personality" and pimples, adult braces, and an underbite. You know, because true beauty had nothing to do with outwards appearance, right?

 

Why is it you post something knowing people will "flame" you and tell them to go ahead, then fight with them and insult them when they do? You post about fat and ugly women (in YOUR opinion) and then get offended when someone suggests you might be ugly? I wonder how his fat and ugly exes would feel knowing your opinion, maybe like you do when people suggest it here.

 

Some have said maybe (yes, without seeing you) one answer is you MIGHT consider yourself more attractive than the people you deem ugly but your not, a valid point to consider. Nobody said you are actually ugly just that you might be at the same level of the people you label as ugly, so fighting back and saying nobody has seen you and calling them unattractive for hiding being the internet is pointless.

 

Keep in mind we have never seen you, but we have also never seen the women you call fat and ugly. We're just supposed to take your word that your are much more attractive than them?

 

You said your bf dated really ugly women and it makes YOU feel less attractive, so YOU must be considering that maybe you are at the same level on a 1-10 scale as his past girlfriends, yet are fighting with people that agree with that possibility.

 

He's attracted to you, he's attracted to fat and ugly women according to you, what can anyone here tell you besides that?

[ChatroomHero]

"Btw I make no claims of being a VS model or something. I have my flaws and imperfections, some of which people find attractive and some they don't."

 

Actually re-reading this makes me wonder what your thought would be if his next gf posted the same thing on here and was one of the "some they don't" crowd.

[2.50 a gallon]

I once went to a party given by one of my nurse friends. One of those rare times when the gals out numbered the guys, my guess it was about 2 dozen women and half that men. The odd thing was there was this fat ugly gal who was getting the attention of most of the guys. I was amazed as if you knew these nurses they were not only young and good looking, but down to earth and liked to have fun in the bedroom.

 

I was later told she had announced that when she arrived she had announced she was horney and wanted to get laid that night. it was a sure thing one of them was going to get lucky.

 

Me I hooked up with a model who had been on a local shoot and was heading out the next day to Hollywood where she had a bit part in a movie.

 

At about that same time my roomate had his GF living with us. A short, busty Italian girl, whose look alike was later Playmate of the month. He was cheating on her. While she was off working, he would drive an hour across town to bang this other gal. I eventually had a chance to meet her, no thank you, Fat and ugly.

 

When asked why, his reply, "Pussy is pussy"

[ScreamingTrees]

I can tell you that those flings meant nothing to him and he wasn't even really attracted to those women, he probably did it just because he had low self esteem and no confidence

 

That sounds pretty messed up to me.

[bodhesatva]

Small rant here: as someone who has dated several women who were not considered conventionally attractive, I absolutely hated the implications I got from some people when asked about the subject.

 

People came up with lots of explanations for why I must be dating this girl; she's rich and I'm after her money, or maybe I have some terrible secret like a micropenis and this is the best I could do. Very few people even considered the actual explanation -- that looks aren't that high a priority for me. It's like the idea of a guy who doesn't consider looks a dominant factor in dating is so foreign to people that the thought never even crosses their minds.

 

One girl I dated was morbidly obese; she was also a harvard trained lawyer who didn't have much money because she mostly did pro-bono work for underprivileged people. A very tiny girl I dated who was not considered conventionally attractive now works (as far as I know, we haven't been in touch in a couple years) in Cambodia doing volunteer work to help the poor there. That is attractive to me.

 

It absolutely drives me crazy that people don't even consider this. I feel like the guys who say "it's the inside that counts!" but don't really mean it ruin it for those of who really do mean it.

Edited February 15, 2013 by bodhesatva

[Ninjainpajamas]

Look, I think on some posts people hold their personal agenda or vendettas with the world or society and go off and attack people and make claims without even having any merit.

 

So I'm just going to go with what I see here, If I see it I write it, I'm not trying to put my own personal twist, or I try to do that as much as possible to be objective to what the "reality" I believe is.

 

The situation seems very simple. Your guy basically banged some ugly chicks because that was available to him. They could be fat, disgusting, gross...some guys have a better tolerance than others...it can be like sticking your hand in a bucket of spiders, but instead some guys just close their eyes and put their penis it in anyway.

 

This is what women don't understand about how men can sleep with women they don't respect or even hold to any kind of standard, they are basically a toy for sexual pleasure, and objective thing to release your load into. I know for some guys it's just like going to get a massage or a daily routine....they go down to a bar/club, pick what's available and take it home. Some guys string it along and setup up a FWB if she's good in bed or has something other to offer, it happens all the time...I read it on LoveShack every day where the woman just doesn't get she's just a piece of @ss...brownie points if it's actually desirable and attractive, but the bottom line for men is convenience and availability.

 

He like just didn't have enough confidence and self-esteem to do any better. It's just like how women date douchebags and get bent over by these guys that cared nothing about them, but it wasn't as much about the guy as much as it was about the girl...that was the issue. So the same situation is reflected here, this is his own insecurity and lack of confidence in his looks and his ability...now that he's got you, if you are indeed much more attractive then it just raised the bar for him and he moved on. Just think of those other girls as old bats to beat up for batting practice, but you're the bat he's using in the game...romantic isn't.

 

Where you're being delusional is thinking you know for a fact you're the best sex he's ever had...i don't believe that just because you said it, I see women speak for men all the time and it's just a joke because chances are they're wrong...I've just seen it so many times, and then the guy is saying something completely different behind closed doors. But that just shows your insecurity and issues with yourself, you need him to have better looking people in his past for validation, so you can feel better about yourself.

 

These women realistically sound around 4's or 5's, he's probably looking at them differently than you are. You I'm guessing are around a 7.5 ish, not phenomenal looking but attractive but you likely over rate yourself. But that's just the vibe I'm getting from this IMO...most women who rate themselves higher on the attractive meter don't tend to be all that, that's just usually the way it goes...I've seen it enough to feel confident about that statement in general even though I'm not saying it's 100 percent, but chances are.

 

I also have seen men go from one end of the spectrum to the high end, usually getting the higher end with more experience. Women don't understand the perspective and experience from men...not all good looking guys or attractive men have options like women tend to do in terms of dating and interest, some of these guys don't have the natural confidence or charisma naturally so they do start at the bottom with the uglies and work their way up...this is actually pretty common for men, which is why they leave a lot of women in the wake and why you see a lot of women get strung along, many men are still climbing the rungs on the ladder..so they're not even thinking on the horizon of something serious, that's something they aspire to be and do with someone desirable to their expectations....maybe even fantasy.

 

So you might be the girl for him at the top of the ladder...maybe hes truly content and satisfied which is why he's showing so much interest. After all, according to you look at the uglies he was stabbing before...wouldn't you be happy if you ate processed patties then you got a nice fresh steak? Aren't you going to think you are in a blissful place with "the one"?

 

Now whether this will last or not is a whole other thing...based on his pattern once he feels confident and comfortable with you he might try and climb the ladder again....thinking this is his new expectation or ability, or maybe he's satisfied, or maybe he thinks he can do better still yet once he gets used to the sex and seeing you all the time and sees a newer hot vagina walking around...so this really shouldn't be the focus of your energy, from a mans point of view and as my advice to any woman, you need to make sure this guy is what you're looking for and there is actually substance to the relationship...more than what you think in your little fantasy world, you better actually knows how he feels before you paint the picture by yourself like a lot of woman than realize he's not even in it, in reality.

 

Both of your insecurities and issues may be apart of what gravitates you to each other. You might satisfy some of his personal issues and confidence, and you might feel enabled in the insecurity of his past and not knowing where you stand.

 

Anyway, I know I wouldn't be surprised if he went from 2's to 9's...and anyone who's spent a significant time around men and know their nature....wouldn't understand why....as unfortunate as that may be for women to hear or even accept, I'd imagine it would be difficult to think the hot guy or attractive guy you've tried to live up to, didn't even really much of a standard in some capacity...but then again you can say the same for women for settling for so little in return in their loves life, yet still continuing to be with those men.

[KungFuJoe]

Good thing I've only ever dated supermodels and 10s.

 

I wouldn't want my wife to feel bad because I have bad taste.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Good thing I've only ever dated supermodels and 10s.

 

I wouldn't want my wife to feel bad because I have bad taste.

 

Honestly she'd be more accepting that you dated uglies than if you had dated supermodels due to the insecurity...therefore you wouldn't be married if this was true obviously

[Ruby Slippers]

Small rant here: as someone who has dated several women who were not considered conventionally attractive, I absolutely hated the implications I got from some people when asked about the subject.

 

People came up with lots of explanations for why I must be dating this girl; she's rich and I'm after her money, or maybe I have some terrible secret like a micropenis and this is the best I could do. Very few people even considered the actual explanation -- that looks aren't that high a priority for me. It's like the idea of a guy who doesn't consider looks a dominant factor in dating is so foreign to people that the thought never even crosses their minds.

 

One girl I dated was morbidly obese; she was also a harvard trained lawyer who didn't have much money because she mostly did pro-bono work for underprivileged people. A very tiny girl I dated who was not considered conventionally attractive now works (as far as I know, we haven't been in touch in a couple years) in Cambodia doing volunteer work to help the poor there. That is attractive to me.

 

It absolutely drives me crazy that people don't even consider this. I feel like the guys who say "it's the inside that counts!" but don't really mean it ruin it for those of who really do mean it.

Great post. I'm glad you said this, because it points out that there are men (and people) who don't use other people as stepping stones.

 

MOST people seem to do it. But there are exceptional people who don't. Though I'm no angel, I never intentionally use people, and I know men who are the same way. If this were not the case, life would be too hopeless and sad to even bother

[KungFuJoe]

Honestly she'd be more accepting that you dated uglies than if you had dated supermodels due to the insecurity...therefore you wouldn't be married if this was true obviously

 

Well there's just no winning this game, is there?

[JuneJulySeptember]

Small rant here: as someone who has dated several women who were not considered conventionally attractive, I absolutely hated the implications I got from some people when asked about the subject.

 

People came up with lots of explanations for why I must be dating this girl; she's rich and I'm after her money, or maybe I have some terrible secret like a micropenis and this is the best I could do. Very few people even considered the actual explanation -- that looks aren't that high a priority for me. It's like the idea of a guy who doesn't consider looks a dominant factor in dating is so foreign to people that the thought never even crosses their minds.

 

One girl I dated was morbidly obese; she was also a harvard trained lawyer who didn't have much money because she mostly did pro-bono work for underprivileged people. A very tiny girl I dated who was not considered conventionally attractive now works (as far as I know, we haven't been in touch in a couple years) in Cambodia doing volunteer work to help the poor there. That is attractive to me.

 

It absolutely drives me crazy that people don't even consider this. I feel like the guys who say "it's the inside that counts!" but don't really mean it ruin it for those of who really do mean it.

 

Yep. Great post.

 

In a conventional societal sense, like polling 100 guys and asking them to rate, and I hesitate to even mention it in this way, the women I have dated have probably gone down in quality. But to me, they are all physically attractive, and to me the quality is going up because the compatibility is going up.

 

Of course, society might argue that I am the unattractive one based on the women I have dated and although I don't like that, I'm better with it. Hey, I'm thankful for the looks that I do have and society is a bunch of idiots anyway.