Lonely Ronin Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Its not about insulting. I too suspect you might not be as attractive as you think you are. Men don't go from 2s to a 9. Agree, guys who can get 9's would most likely have 4, 5, & 6's looking to him for ONS & FWB set-ups.
MidwestUSA Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Anonymity aside, there are many people who think as you think. Most I would argue. You could ask yourself, "Why do you have to be the shallow one?" Why do you have to be the one who thinks of totally normal, non-disfigured persons with normal features as ugly? Why do you have to be the one who thinks just because your nose bridge is positioned a few millimeters higher and your eyes a bit further apart that you are deemed beautiful and another person ugly? It's really that small of a difference. Just like there are people who are racist, and those who are not, you can choose to be non-racist or you can choose to be a racist. You can take, take, take in this life and be unapologetic, or you can make this world a better place. I too, am using the anonymity of the internet to share my NEW philosophy. THIS. Great post and great attitude.
Joaquin Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 I admire the honesty in the way the op posted, as I do any counterpoint which is posted in an intellectually honest way. Op also made it clear she was trying to address the feeling, which she felt wasn't right. Forums don't have to a big tug feast to make everyone feel worthy and better about themselves, at the expense of posting rubbish.
SteveC80 Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Its easier to bed ugly or average women especially if youre a pretty good looking dude the lower level women will think she can force a relationship on you by giving you good sex right away.. But i could never og down to the 2's and 3's like your boyfreind sleepign with 5's was hard enough sometimes
pteromom Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 He also dated someone who was very unattractive, and who he describes as very pretty. Maybe he has completely different taste than you do. Maybe he doesn't notice whether someone has stringy hair or a little weight on them, and he focuses on certain attributes when deciding if someone is attractive (eyes, smile, boobs, legs, attitude, etc). The fact that you are using this as a criticism of you is baffling to me though. If you objectively know that you are attractive, then you should internalize that and live it. And be happy that you have a boyfriend who sees more in a woman than their shiny exterior. 2
pteromom Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Look at my avatar. A lot of people on here have said I am ugly and plain.. Yet for some reason, because I have a nice body, a lot of men view me as pretty in my real life! Yes, they think I have a pretty face! Those women are ugly to you but maybe they are pretty to him? I am seriously pretty to some people, yet ugly to others. You are pretty, Leigh. Don't let haters ever get you down. 1
veggirl Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 He obviously thought those ugly girls were the best he could get, you said yourself he was insecure and whatnot. My most insecure time in my life included a physically unattractive boyfriend! 1
pbjbear Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Look at my avatar. A lot of people on here have said I am ugly and plain.. Yet for some reason, because I have a nice body, a lot of men view me as pretty in my real life! Yes, they think I have a pretty face! Those women are ugly to you but maybe they are pretty to him? I am seriously pretty to some people, yet ugly to others. wtf? you are not ugly or plain...people need to get over themselves 1
Treasa Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 I'm sorry, but I can't get behind the idea of someone being "objectively" attractive. There is no such thing. Your face might be symmetrical and your waist-to-hip ratio might be that .67 or whatever, but there will still be people who won't find you attractive, and vice versa. I'm wasting my breath saying this time and again, aren't I? 3
SmileFace Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 I'm sorry, but I can't get behind the idea of someone being "objectively" attractive. There is no such thing. Your face might be symmetrical and your waist-to-hip ratio might be that .67 or whatever, but there will still be people who won't find you attractive, and vice versa. I'm wasting my breath saying this time and again, aren't I? No and I want to scream it off of a roof!! lol People call it what it is - she is insecure. Point blank. 2
pteromom Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 I'm sorry, but I can't get behind the idea of someone being "objectively" attractive. There is no such thing. Your face might be symmetrical and your waist-to-hip ratio might be that .67 or whatever, but there will still be people who won't find you attractive, and vice versa. I'm wasting my breath saying this time and again, aren't I? No, you aren't wasting your breath, because every time you say it, I don't have to. So thanks for saving me some typing! 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 My brother always dates girls that are not that attractive, even though he is very good looking. He has always been insecure and thinks that's the best he can get. Once, he had this beautiful girl that wanted to date him. He said he felt too intimidated by her to be comfortable and that he would be freaking out over guys hitting on her...so he again picked the barely average girl. I am feel pretty much the same way in my own dating life. It can all be traced to how we were brought up but that's the story for another thread. 1
Lonely Ronin Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 I am feel pretty much the same way in my own dating life. It can all be traced to how we were brought up but that's the story for another thread. Well, make the thread, because i want to hear about this. My friends male & female alike are always telling me I can do better, so I'm in a similar boat.
venusianx13 Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 (edited) One of my first boyfriends in high school cheated on me with two extremely obese women (all in the same night). Why? Because he could. It was no challenge for him. I think there are times when some men find themselves in this mindset. However, in general, I don't really like judging people on looks. IMO, a really crappy personality can trump out physical beauty. I don't think you're a bad person, but I can see that you are struggling with this. I remember your prior posts, and I feel for you. I believe you are hurt (and rightfully so) by your boyfriend's past sexcapades being inadvertently rubbed in your face. I don't think I know ANY women who would handle that well. However, if he truly is doing his part to make things right, you need to decide whether you can let this go or not. If it is going to cause you continuous suffering, you may need to reconsider this relationship. Edited February 14, 2013 by venusianx13 2
e40 Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Ok, as a disclaimer, I know that I'm a terrible person. I'm using the anonymity of the internet to make a confession. If you want to flame me for this, go to town. I'm curious if anyone else feels this way. Those 2s and 3s may be very good people inside and some 10s are horrible people inside. A side effect of getting rid of these thoughts is you won't be able to refer to yourself as a terrible person again.
PJKino Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Men arent nearly as shallow as women think..i think women project their own vanity and shallowness onto men..
Ruby Slippers Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 It's interesting to see that insecurity crosses all lines. Those other girls were the practice and study girls. You're the final exam. They most likely got his minimal effort. You get his best - his sharpest pencil. Security and self-esteem come from within. 2
FitChick Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 If he found less attractive women desirable, you don't have to worry about losing your looks as you age. He'll still love you. 2
Treasa Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 I just feel the need to post this. My boyfriend is tall (6'5"), and I think he is gorgeous, but a lot of girls don't see him that way. Part of it is because he had very serious health issues when he was 18-19 and they affected him for a few years, so now he's disabled somewhat, has to sometimes use a cane, often loses his balance, has lost 20% of his hearing, and has some scarring in different areas of his body. He's also maybe 40 pounds over what is considered "ideal" per those BMI scales. Most girls his age (mid 20s) take one look at him physically and just move on. All that being said, he is the sweetest, nicest, funniest, kindest, wittiest, most patient person you could ever meet. Everything he's gone through has made him extremely resilient and strong, and he doesn't have a self-esteem problem at all. GOD, I love him. He's just amazing, and I'll take him over any "10" on someone else's scale any day. He has the cutest smile, and gorgeous eyes, and.... Yeah, attractiveness is subjective, and it's why I hate ratings and leagues and all that other crap. ETA: He just called me to tell me the results from seeing the doctor, and he's having ongoing bladder stone issues. My poor baby. That's another thing. I would never bail on someone I love just because they have health issues. 6
danny in van Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 lemme wade in here OP. I hear what you're saying...and tho he said he found them attractive, what else could he tell u 'No they were ugly but I did it anyway'? He slept with them cuz it was ez; he had low standards then, but they could've changed. My standards were much lower in my 20s (cuz I had less confidence and much more libido = take what u can...and often get the ez girl at the bar cuz the cute girl might take 5 dates if u get any at all) Point is today my standards are much higher , and so may be his. I'd say just ignore that he thinks the 2s are cute. A white lie to save face. 1
pteromom Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 ETA: He just called me to tell me the results from seeing the doctor, and he's having ongoing bladder stone issues. My poor baby. That's another thing. I would never bail on someone I love just because they have health issues. Even if he had BRACES, though? I mean, that's beyond acceptable, right? I am sorry about your BF's health issues. I hope he's able to conquer the bladder stones. Yes, how each of us interpret someone's looks is different (and sometimes based on our own insecurities when it's someone of the same sex). I know I tend to look at a woman more in a comparative way than gauging how attractive I think she is to men. This issue is ALL about OP's insecurities. OP, if you met his past partners and they were all 9-10s, would that validate you somehow? Like make you feel you must be on their level since he chose you? One person's 2 isn't necessarily another person's 4. One person's 2 may be another person's 10. It all depends on what they prioritize. 1
Treasa Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Even if he had BRACES, though? I mean, that's beyond acceptable, right? I am sorry about your BF's health issues. I hope he's able to conquer the bladder stones. You know, that little **** (ok, he's not little, but he's younger than I am) has perfect teeth!! I had braces for two years. Grrrr.. His eyes are two totally different whatevers, though, so he does have to wear glasses. And thank you. Thankfully he's used to it, but it still does suck.
jcrew11 Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Guys face a lot of rejection. It comes to a point where its LAST CALL and you just want to go home with the easiest girl. These "ugly girls" are just F-Buddies that are easy to sleep with. They might even have better personalities than Perfect 10 girls. They are often really nice and will go the extra mile when you talk to them, instead of being difficult or making a guy jump through hoops. There are no games. Also, its easier to dump the ugly girls if they don't get clingy or needy.
manup Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 never said i was "that hot" what's for sure is that a guy who randomly insults women he's never seen on the internet isn't hot, either how is that an insult, maybe you aren't I just know a bunch of delusional women out there
Revolver Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Men have been known to go after "ugly" women or the least attractive women in a group because there's a belief that she will be "easier".
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