McDonald Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 I know how you feel. I want to text her because what if? What if this text is the one she replies too. The one where she says "i miss you and made a mistake". Well that's probably not going to happen. It's hard to accept. If she wants you back, she will reach out herself. I know it's hard to believe. The way I feel is if I don't text her she will never text me etc. that she will forget. It's hard to believe but it's something we haveto accept. I wish I could just be her friend. That I could text her and say hey what's up. But I can't. It will push me back. Make me feel worse; because I just don't want to be her friend.
cavalier99 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 I MAYBE wouldn't mind being friends with my ex. Ive know her for sooo long and shared so much even before we dated. Ive known her 13 plus years including 8 year RS. But potential friendship is when I'm indifferent and could hang with her and even meet her BF. I think this is a more realistic idea of what friendship is. Your guys idea is just plain ole f*cked up. You don't want to be friends you just want them back. This fantasy must go. Mourn the loss but don't fantasize about a pipe dream future.
Coping Vortex Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Can someone snap me out of this? Why do I want to try being her friend? Not really her friend but just an acquaintance. I wouldn't want to hang out with her, or even text her a lot. Just kind of on speaking terms. I think part of me is hoping that if I did this, she'd want to give us another try which is all I want because I feel so lonely right now. I am definitely more indifferent towards her than I was when we first broke up. I'm not ready to handle the idea of her dating someone else and hearing about them though. I also have no idea if she'd even want to be my friend or if she hates me. Meh I think relationships are complex forms of communication. There is the love aspect of them, the physical aspect and then the friend aspect of them. Relationships have different elements to the such as the Adult part which provides the security in a relationship. There is the Parent aspect where you are your lover provide a guidance and boundaries for each other as well as love and then the Child aspect where the fun resides, sex, affection, recreation etc. When you break up you lose all aspects of these elements. Mostly we mourn all of the pieces but after some time you may get over some of them but others remain, The Adult portion of losing your friend is a big one. i think over time that can even be more devastating than losing the Child aspect of the sex. I miss being physical with my ex but I am finding losing my friend is just as devastating.
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