TheWeeknd Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 (edited) Hurt, relief, nostalgic, understanding, hope... My ex girlfriend broke up with me 2 months ago citing the reasons that she doesn't feel attraction towards me anymore, wants to see what else is out there, and might have feelings for someone else. After yesterday I found out that my ex is seeing someone else and that person is even taking her on a mini vacation this weekend for Valentine's Day. The funny thing was, she contacted me just 4 days ago, after I went nc for a good 3 weeks, telling me she misses me and doesn't know how to move on. She even got to the point of telling me that she hasn't slept with anyone else and asked if I did. She acted as if we are still together yet does not want to be with me but to only support her. After asking her why she would want me in her life when she dumped me to be with someone else. Her reply was, I am only seeing other people as a distraction. I miss the memories we had but not the relationship itself. Basically, she was trying to string me along and gradually work into a new relationship. Yesterday night, I phoned her up and I basically told her that we can't stay in contact anymore. There is no way I am going to support all her emotional needs while she gets to go out and have fun with her friends and flirt and date around. She replied blaming me for everything that ever happened to her on me. Today I feel hurt and somewhat relieved that it is over. I feel hurt in the fact that she would let go of a relationship of 4 years just because some new guy came along with more money, more power, and more status. I feel hurt in the fact that she gave up on the relationship right after we hit the stage of being comfortable. Me and my ex are both in our early 20s. I am in school while she dropped out of school and started to work full time and met her new older rich friends. All her new friends are in their early 30s, successful and really into the elite party scene and her new partner/suitor is in his mid to late 30s. I feel like it was because of her new friends, she slowly and gradually changed into a stranger. But within all this hurt and relief, I feel nostalgic and somewhat understanding of her situation. Nostalgic of the fact that I miss the old her. The person that told me that she would love me forever and even told me of future plans of marrying, and having children. I feel understanding of the fact that right now she is in a deep dark place of her life. She has severe depression because of her financial, educational and career issues. I have always tried my best to support her but she only pushed me further and further away and even blamed all her problems on me. The fact that I didn't push her through school, or move in with her and support her financially. I feel hopeful in the fact that maybe one day, she will wake up and actually see all the things I have done for her in our 4 years relationship. I personally know that I can never take her back or will want to get back with her after what she has put me through, but I really just hope one day that she wakes up and notices how bad she has treated me leading up to and after the breakup. Hurt, relief, nostalgic, understanding, hopeful... those are the feelings I have to live with now. I know that one day in the future, I will be able to turn those feelings into forgiveness, love and trust once again. Edited February 14, 2013 by TheWeeknd
calgary Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 wow we're in the same boat completely i'm so sorry ! I wish you didn't know the pain i'm going through but I have a feeling we're feeling exactly the same right now ! I don't have anything to suggest unfortunately because i'm trying to think up ways to deal with it myself.. this sounds a lot like gigs. have you read the gigs thread? you'll relate to that.. but relating doesn't cut it. you want her back right ? no matter how horrible they are to us.. not matter how much they string you along and give you bread crumbs..
Author TheWeeknd Posted February 14, 2013 Author Posted February 14, 2013 Yeah I have read the gigs thread. It might be GIGS or it might not. At this point, I really don't care anymore. Even though I might still have feelings for her. I know that she will not and does not want to get back together with me. She just wants to use me to be her emotional support when she gets weak and reminisces about the past and how good I have treated her, while she gets ready for her new relationship. Thus is why I have told her to not contact me anymore. Hopefully one day we both will be able to overcome this stage of grief of our lives. Good luck to us!
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