jimmy828ri Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 ok so lets start out , my wife of 17 years started having an affair , she said we lost a connection and lost intimacy , so the affair started , because i guess he gave her what i didnt , my mom passed away 2 years ago and i was suffering from depression from that along with financial issues wich in turn led me to be withdrawn from her , 3 weeks ago the affair came out , she said it was emotional and physical , so i told her that i understand and people can lose sight of things and make some bad decisions , a few years ago i had also cheated , the man shes having the affair with is 53 years old and she is 31 , im not sure what to think , she claims she is in love with him and that shes not sure what she wants to do . we have 3 children and 17 years history but is convinced she may wants to test the waters with this new found love , from what i ready its like a 1 in 100 chance that it will actually work for them , i love her with all my heart and dont want to let her go , im here to fight for her love , i dont wanna give up what we had and what i believe we can easily rebuild , anyone have any advice on whats going on or what i can do ,
road Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 You need to get the book Survivng An Affair by Dr Harley. How did you find out about the affair? How did WW meet the OM?
Bryanp Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. Why would she stop if you are allowing it and doing nothing to stop IT. You are perceived as weak. If the roles were reversed would she be as accepting as you have been? 1. Get tested for STD's. 2. Expose to OM's wife or girlfriend 3. Expose to her parents and your children. 4. See a lawyer to understand your options. If she knows that you went to a lawyer the chances are greater that she will come to her senses and realize that their are consequences to her actions. If you do not do these things she will look at you as a doormat and continue to humiliate and disrespect you in the worst possible way. She clearly no longer has any respect for you as a husband. IF YOU DO NOT RESPECT YOURSELF THEN WHO WILL?
OpenBook Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 my wife of 17 years started having an affair ... the man shes having the affair with is 53 years old and she is 31 , im not sure what to think I'm not sure what to think either. You married your W when she was 14??? 1
Ninja'sHusband Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 (edited) I'm not sure what to think either. You married your W when she was 14??? I thought maybe it was a typo, but he said the same thing in another thread. . Edited February 14, 2013 by Ninja'sHusband
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