Dan08 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Been NC with the ex since beginning of january, she contacted me once after I had a near-death experience to express her concerns and because of the situation I replied thanking her for her concerns and promised to stay safe and then deleted her number from my phone. Anyways, I made a status on fb the other night simply saying "Content with my life right now" and the very next day she contacts me with a seemingly innocent request (we're friends on fb though I've set it so I don't see anything she posts and I don't check her profile) Her message read: Hey Dan, How you been? Hope uni's going well. I was wondering if I could use some of your videos from africa for one of my projects? Now I think the timing is iffy, she's been back to uni as long as I have and only now wants these videos? Plus there's the timing of my fb status, surely she could also rip the vids off facebook as well? However, I don't feel like I can ignore it as I don't want to be a d*ck if it's a genuine request and not give her these vids or whatever for her project. Is it innocent or she's checking up on me and what should be my response if any? I was kinda going for something like, doing brilliant thanks, having good fun and yea they should be on fb as not sure if I have the originals and leave it at that?
Jono85 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 even though you're mind won't allow it, i would ASSUME it's a genuine request and she's just asking about u so as to not make it awkward to just ask for the videos. i'm not saying that was her intention, but truth is nobody can read her mind. you need to treat this like that's all she wants. your response sounds good. personally i would take out the 'having good fun' part, b/c i would want the response as brief as possible, and not come off too try hard. just respond with "doing brilliant, thanks. yeah they should be on fb as not sure if I have the originals." and leave it at that. that's just me though.
Author Dan08 Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 even though you're mind won't allow it, i would ASSUME it's a genuine request and she's just asking about u so as to not make it awkward to just ask for the videos. i'm not saying that was her intention, but truth is nobody can read her mind. you need to treat this like that's all she wants. your response sounds good. personally i would take out the 'having good fun' part, b/c i would want the response as brief as possible, and not come off too try hard. just respond with "doing brilliant, thanks. yeah they should be on fb as not sure if I have the originals." and leave it at that. that's just me though. I like your response mate, cheers for the advice.
Author Dan08 Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 Right I sent her that response near enough and within seconds she's replied saying it's ok she's found some >.< and now the questions begin on her end.
Jono85 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Right I sent her that response near enough and within seconds she's replied saying it's ok she's found some >.< and now the questions begin on her end. do you really want to be her friend though? i highly doubt u can be friends right now, you're not over this girl and won't be most likely for some time. if i were in your shoes i might just ignore her msg/questions and she'll probably understand. that being said it's really hard for me to ignore ppl, let alone someone i cared about a ton, so maybe even a simple "i think it's best if we don't communicate for a while." or something like that. something simple, NOT emotional, to the point, just so you don't have to ignore her comlpletely. but to be honest, she dumped you. you don't ower her ANYTHING anymore. ignoring her would not be a terrible thing to do, regardless of whether she guilts you about it or not.
pteromom Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Sounds to me like she just wanted the videos, and her question about how you are doing was just added so she wouldn't seem rude.
Author Dan08 Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 do you really want to be her friend though? i highly doubt u can be friends right now, you're not over this girl and won't be most likely for some time. if i were in your shoes i might just ignore her msg/questions and she'll probably understand. that being said it's really hard for me to ignore ppl, let alone someone i cared about a ton, so maybe even a simple "i think it's best if we don't communicate for a while." or something like that. something simple, NOT emotional, to the point, just so you don't have to ignore her comlpletely. but to be honest, she dumped you. you don't ower her ANYTHING anymore. ignoring her would not be a terrible thing to do, regardless of whether she guilts you about it or not. I guess somewhere down the line I'd like that. Don't think she would, last time I went NC for 2 months she got in touch asking if that'd had been enought time.... And yes, I find it really hard to ignore people. I don't like treating people badly, I'd like to think treat others as you would yourself. And yes you're right I don't owe her anything, I just struggle to get that into my head...
sadpanda87 Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 buddy, cut her out of your life. you really shouldnt be breaking nc till you're ready. all these questions and guesses are not doing you any good
Author Dan08 Posted February 14, 2013 Author Posted February 14, 2013 buddy, cut her out of your life. you really shouldnt be breaking nc till you're ready. all these questions and guesses are not doing you any good I hadn't seen it like that, but you're right panda the fact that I'm even considering these questions says it all. I can't truly cut her out my life due to mutual friends but ill do the next best thing. Also, she's gone cold on me so lesson learnt for next time. Hindsight huh?
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