robaday Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Still reeling a little from an unprovoked attack from my ex, about 3 weeks ago...according to her im abusive, treated her horribly as well as any other negative thing u can possibly call someone...this was while she was sending me text after text of abuse. I only broke NC, because shed sent 6 texts saying she missed me. I cant really believe a word that girl says anymore about anything, in 3 days of texting back&forward, she veered from saying she loves me, to that she hates me, to trying to make me jealous, to finaly inviting me round for no strings attached sex...... Are ex's horrible because they dont care? or because they dont respect you? or is it the opposite? that they do care and are pxxxd that you moved on? ps I told her I wasnt interested.
GG3 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 What is she saying you did that is abusive? Sounds like she has a lot of mixed emotions.
Author robaday Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 We argued one night 9 months back - id caught her in a huge lie, and she instead of reassuring me told me "fxxxk off" and i responded in kind. Yeah, swear words were exchanged and yeah I said some things but it was mutual - she was also sending me messages. It was probably the only time I ever really lost my cool with her - she repeatedly sent texts like that and this was the first time I responded in kind, I was sick of it. Its clear now she just wanted a rise out of me a month back, saying whatever she could to try and hurt me. She says she loves me and hates me, that she misses me, but Im also a scumbag liar who treated her like ****...she sent me leud pictures of herself trying to get me round to her house....which despite me being always attracted to her were a major turn off!!! Would a woman HONESTLY want to sleep with a guy she thinks is an abusive? Im actually quite scared of what shes capable of....one message was pretty much threatening violence.
daylight Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 We argued one night 9 months back - id caught her in a huge lie, and she instead of reassuring me told me "fxxxk off" and i responded in kind. Yeah, swear words were exchanged and yeah I said some things but it was mutual - she was also sending me messages. It was probably the only time I ever really lost my cool with her - she repeatedly sent texts like that and this was the first time I responded in kind, I was sick of it. Its clear now she just wanted a rise out of me a month back, saying whatever she could to try and hurt me. She says she loves me and hates me, that she misses me, but Im also a scumbag liar who treated her like ****...she sent me leud pictures of herself trying to get me round to her house....which despite me being always attracted to her were a major turn off!!! Would a woman HONESTLY want to sleep with a guy she thinks is an abusive? Im actually quite scared of what shes capable of....one message was pretty much threatening violence. I've been there before dude, you got yourself a crazy. From what you've said, sounds like she's insecure which is not necessarily bad, who isn't these days? She's hurting and misses you obviously. The going back and forth between anger and love is normal when you're really into someone and they reject you for whatever perceived reason. I still go through this with my ex all the time. My suggestion, use her for all the sex you can get out of it and don't get attached whatsoever. Relationship is obviously not an option that is going to work at this point. Don't pretend to love her or anything, be honest with her about your feelings if she asks but only if she asks. If you're not a horrible person like me and don't go with my suggestion, remove her from your life. Don't think anything of her lashing out as it's just a response to how she's feeling at the moment. Anyone is capable of lashing out like that when they've been hurt, I don't care how old or how nice of a person you are.
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Can't get my head round any reason why you would still be in contact with her.... Th thing about No Contact is that there is No Contact..... So why you responded to her texts is a mystery. And frankly, it just perpetuates the drama..... "Damn Retard After More Attention."
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 No, I believe him. My brother's wife was exactly the same. She created blue stink accusing him of so much wrong - and all it was, was her being a manipulative bitch. The way the OP's ex- is behaving, is nothing to the things my brother's ex- said and did. She made this one look like a pussy-cat. A truly abused woman is highly unlikely to scream about it. She will be too scared to tell. 1
daylight Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 If you felt like you were being abusive then you were. If you don't even remotely feel like you were abusive and you can't think of a single time you were then she's saying it on purpose to get a rise out of you because she's hurt that you're moving on. You don't come off as the type that is abusive so I'll just take it at that.
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 I'm having a lot of difficulty even understanding what you're trying to say.... If he was the abusive guy she says he is - he wouldn't even be posting.
daylight Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Lol that's what I was trying to say. I was agreeing with you. I'm not sure why the OP is letting it get to him as if he was any of those things that she says then he'd know. It's not like it's rocket science, especially with something like abuse. Abuse is pretty clear cut as to what defines it. She's only lashing out because she's hurt saying anything and everything to hurt him and bring him back.
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 (Sorry, my comment was addressed to juicez).
Darren Steez Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 The thing is we both wasn't there in both situation. So how much can we tell. A abuser most of the time have a typical behavior too. one admit and say its cause she asked for.the other deny it all. And make the victim look crazy. Just saying, you cant put your hand in fire Just cause its family or the story sound weird from how you know the person. Umm you don't know he's an abuser so don't accuse him of such
daylight Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Oh and back on topic, to the OP, if your ex was sending these messages while intoxicated then I would take that into consideration as well. Alcohol makes people crazy and do stupid stuff sometimes. I did this once with an ex, got really drunk one night and sent her a bunch of crazy and mean texts because I was angry. That doesn't make it forgivable but it's worth giving her some understanding for that. Especially if it's not something that she does all the time.
Ladybugz Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Umm you don't know he's an abuser so don't accuse him of such can you read? so the same for you. you do nt know if he is not so dont jump into the fire for him.\ beside, i said we dont know what he is or not cause we warrant there. where you? please read before just reply just to say something against. thnx
Ladybugz Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Umm you don't know he's an abuser so don't accuse him of such so now you are accusing of something i did not do. and that s wrong!:mad::mad:
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 so now you are accusing of something i did not do. and that s wrong! Yes you did. That's exactly what you did.... If you abused her own it.dont act like she is crazy while you are the abuser.cause. abuse is wrong. And I doupt that she is saying that out of the blue. And I think she just have low self esteem. She may miss the good side of you around. But She dont give her self esteem piority.cause there is no reason to go back to a abuser.
Author robaday Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 She complained I was never enough for her for near enough three years. So after arguing over this, and arguing over it, and as she got even more angry and spiteful, I shut down, and became passive agresssive. I wasnt innocent by any stretch, but she needed someone who worshipped the ground she walked on, someone who would pander to her every wish and desire. I simply wasnt the right guy. Regarding the abuse thing. We argued non-stop. Perhaps there were times I was, but so was she, we rarely got on in the last year we knew each other, neither of us were great to each other, and both of us did not belong together. She must have known the arguing, and fighting wasnt normal. Guess Im confused why all the ill feelings, we werent good together, at all, she must know that, and breaking up for good was by far the best thing for both of us. She was desperately unhappy too, and so was I. In that situation Im not sure how anyone could argue about a breakup, or indeed carry so much ill will toward someone - if wed spent any longer together there would have been serious long term consequences, and I for one, do not and did not want to have to go back to counselling.
fancy feast Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 What an apt title for how this thread went. 1
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