Joby72 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 After no contact since sat i was pondering over a text message he sent me on that day... instead of deleting them i kept them and one in particular i kept reading, soooo i had to do it didn't i, he text me back saying he has been wanting to text me every night but had to turn his phone off every night to stop himself, he asked how i was and said he doesnt know why he cat fall in love but all he knows is that we are both hurting, i said aaaw have you missed me and he said yes he misses everything joanne style even my little text, also that he feels really empty, then he sent a picture message and my reply was hey its me that usually sends the silly picture messages and he said he misses them also...part of me is happy and part of me is sad how can he be with someone else when he says all this
cdt76 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 (edited) Joby. I'm sorry for your loss. I think what you have to start to believe is that he is only missing you because he happened to be lonely at that particular moment. Telling you he can't love you, basically means he is still hung up on the ex and he is using you for comfort, be it physical or emotional. I didn't read to far into your story but I know men. I am one. Don't feed his ego by contacting him. If he can't love you then he doesn't need to miss you. I know that's hard to do but you can make it. Edited February 13, 2013 by cdt76
Author Joby72 Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 Joby. I'm sorry for your loss. I think what you have to start to believe is that he is only missing you because he happened to be lonely at that particular moment. Telling you he can't love you, basically means he is still hung up on the ex and he is using you for comfort, be it physical or emotional. I didn't read to far into your story but I know men. I am one. Don't feed his ego by contacting him. If he can't love you then he doesn't need to miss you. I know that's hard to do but you can make it. i said all along he was still in love with his ex wife which he denies as she is with someone else now...but so is he, he has been seeing some girl for a few weeks now which i said in my first post and already comparing me to her if hes seeing someone else then how come he feels empty.
cdt76 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 How long ago was the divorce? I know when I went through mine I was a mess for quite awhile. I wasn't able to establish a relationship with anyone I dated. I had to get to the point that being home alone was ok and actually looked forward to it. Once I got to that point, I met someone. She turned out to be an evil rat but it was good for a bit. So he is searching for his peace. He won't be able to obtain happiness in anothers arms for awhile. He will try and hide his pain there in another woman but that only lasts until the next morning and he has to face it all again. And he does not know how to be alone yet. That is why you get the "miss you" texts. It should be more like the "I dont' want to be alone" text.
iouaname Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Trying to figure out what he is thinking is a pointless exercise. You'll never really know, and what he is feeling could change from day to day. If he's with another girl now, it's best to just get back on the No Contact Horse and try to keep moving forward...
Author Joby72 Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 How long ago was the divorce? I know when I went through mine I was a mess for quite awhile. I wasn't able to establish a relationship with anyone I dated. I had to get to the point that being home alone was ok and actually looked forward to it. Once I got to that point, I met someone. She turned out to be an evil rat but it was good for a bit. So he is searching for his peace. He won't be able to obtain happiness in anothers arms for awhile. He will try and hide his pain there in another woman but that only lasts until the next morning and he has to face it all again. And he does not know how to be alone yet. That is why you get the "miss you" texts. It should be more like the "I dont' want to be alone" text. he isnt divorced yet but been separated for 12 months and this is the second time him and his wife have separated but this time she moved out into her own house but he spends a lot of time there looking after his daughter...he is quite used to being alone as i said i only used to see him once maybe twice a week... i think he is going through g.i.g.s i dont know
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