Geiss Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 People that say past is past usually means they have something to hide.
PhoenixRysing Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 People that say past is past usually means they have something to hide. I don't disagree with you at all, perhaps why I personally am an advocate of leaving the past where it is. From my own experience, and even from reading this board, some are ashamed of promiscuity, while others are embarrassed by their lack of experience. Human existence is by definition a series of unfortunate and weird events that somehow made us into the very unique and somehow extraordinarily similar beings we are today. In other words, depending on who you are talking to and in what context, there is always something to hide. For me, the joy of connection is finding the one person for which your past does not matter - either because your past is shared with them in similar actions, or because they frankly don't care. I think we all have something to hide yet it seems we are all looking for that one person we can be with where nothing has to be hidden. Thus, if I let someone's past be a bygone, then I am much closer to finding someone who will do the same for me. It just feels like an easier road. 1
pbjbear Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Current attitudes and mindsets matter to me more than the past Most guys Ive met that have a past too promiscuous for me lacked self control and maturity in their personality in general...alot of promiscuous people have other unattractive personality traits to go with it. Ive noticed alot of men that are big into casual sex do too much drugs for me, have little ambition in life and are callous/uncaring about others. (Usually the first and third traits) But Im sure there are some not like that. There are some that seem to defy this on this forum. A bad past would be a red flag but I would immediately write someone off for it Personally, I try not to talk about it. I dont like being asked about mine because I find any guy that asks is about to be judgmental or insecure. I also have no desire to know the details of a potential bf's past sex life
e40 Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 People that say past is past usually means they have something to hide. People are often judgmental and make far too many assumptions based on their past. Better to get to know the person in the present. Should a late blooming guy or a woman who had some fun a decade ago be judged so harshly?
animalover Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 I really thin you guys are over thinking this.... Some people don't care about the sexual past and others do... why do you need to make a general rule about that? Some people like blondes ... others brunets .... everyone has their own view in what is important when looking for arelationship... I don't get why you feel like you need to defend one or the other position...guess what... they are both right!
TaraMaiden Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 My H = 100+ Me = 6 Currently: My H = me. Me = My H. That's all that matters, for us. 2
animalover Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 My H = 100+ Me = 6 Currently: My H = me. Me = My H. That's all that matters, for us. That is great because it works for you! Many people share the same way of thinking and is completely fine! I have only had sex with 5 girls in my life (5 ltr's) so many women would rule me out because I may be inexperienced... and they are in totally their right to do that.... so I am to rule out anyone who does not fit in my way of understanding sex! I really think there is no problem here... as long as we keep respecting other people choices of life we can decide who do we want to date based in the criteria we want... my deal breakers may look silly for some people and some other people deal breakers may look silly for me... but ehhh... are we not different people?
OJ loved Nicole Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 My girlfriend is an absolute pornstar in bed, and I'm 100% sure she didn't get that way by watching videos or practicing on toys. I don't inquire about her past, because nothing positive will come from knowing the details of her sexual history. I just enjoy what I have.
bson1257 Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 If I ever got a girlfriend she wouldn't need to worry about my sexual past since I don't have any.
its a lifestyle Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 With jealously, bitterness and disgust... even though my past is probably just as bad/worse.
kaylan Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 I view it two ways. There is the logical and reasonable side that knows that a persons past is irrelevant in how it affects your relationship with that person. We've all done things that we aren't proud of and this is no different. But then there's the emotional/romantic side, usually spurred by the whole Madonna/whore complex that a LOT of guys are affected by that likes to rear its ugly head from time to time. I used to suffer big time from RJ. You could say I still do in some sense, but it's mostly under control and something I have learned to live with. I guess I have my mom to thank for that. Actually... whats logical is knowing that a persons past shapes their views, morals, and behavior in the present and likely the future. All this "the past is the past" stuff is spoken by people who cant own their actions imo. I can own everything Ive done, and if a girl wont date me because of some things Ive done, so be it. Shes not wrong. Everyone has their boundaries in who they desire to date.
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 My boyfriend was an alcoholic for 10 years. He honestly doesn't know his number but I do know that with the ones he does remember it is pretty high. I don't care. Do I like to hear stories? No. I get my bouts of jealousy, but ultimately, he IS with me, and that is all that really matters.
e40 Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 If I ever got a girlfriend she wouldn't need to worry about my sexual past since I don't have any. More reason why the past should be the past.
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