meeji Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Ok so last year, i worked at a conference. I ended up in a lecture that i was very interested in. I listened very intently to the speaker, as this topic was right up my alley. At the end, there was a Q&A and i asked a few questions. After the panel, we chatted for about an hour on this topic. He thought I was younger than i am but when i told him my age he stared flirting with me and telling me i'm beautiful and educated, obviously about said topic. He gave me his email and I emailed him later that night since a bunch of staff were getting together. He gave me his number and we met up the next day. I went to his panel and then after, he took me out for coffee. we both went back to our cities and have kept in touch via phone and email over the past year. I happen to be working this same conference again and i just got a text from him saying that he will be a guest speaker again. WHAT A SURPRISE! SO... now that I a single, this is the perfect opportunity to catch up. I have been reading lots of books about relationship since mine ended. Im not sure how to approach this... its beeen a while guys. How to I go about attracting this man? I think he will let me go as far as I let him so technically, i'm calling the shots here. I'm sure he is interested but I do know that his job comes before anything else (he is a diplomat) and this "weekend," getaway ends when the weekends is over so I need to not let my expectations and rational mind get away lol! Right now i'm thinking, he knows i'm gonna be there. Maybe i dont need to do anything else. He doesnt need my schedule so we can sync up. I shouldnt make it too easy for him , right? I should let him to the work and contact me and if i'm tied up, he will make an effort again to find a better time. Suggestions please. I need to get my groove back!
TaraMaiden Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Does he know you're single now? Are you sure he is? if it's all green to go, why don't you simply suggest the two of you maybe explore taking this thing up a notch and start dating? Make yourself available - but not easy......
Author meeji Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 Does he know you're single now? Are you sure he is? if it's all green to go, why don't you simply suggest the two of you maybe explore taking this thing up a notch and start dating? Make yourself available - but not easy...... He never knew that I was ever seeing anyone so i have that going for me. When i met him he was single. He said he broke it off because he basically chose work over her. He said he didnt have time for relationships bc he was too busy. I think he is still single. We talked around xmas and he said he was so swamped with work that he didnt think he would get out alive. So im assuming that means he doesnt have time to play. The thing is that he lives about 6 hours away from me. I dont think i have much faith in Ldrs anymore since u know what.. but it would be reckless to think that i can start one with this guy. He's not looking for a committed relationship, im pretty sure.... I kinda feel like he is out of my league to be honest but he came on to me so there's much nonsense in thinking that way. I'm not the casual encounter type of girl but i guess i was thinking along the lines of coffees, lunches/dinner and eventually drinks. We can enjoy each other's company for 4 days....what if he is seeing someone and she comes with him! TARA! X.X
TaraMaiden Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 He never knew that I was ever seeing anyone so i have that going for me. When i met him he was single. He said he broke it off because he basically chose work over her. He said he didnt have time for relationships bc he was too busy. I think he is still single. We talked around xmas and he said he was so swamped with work that he didnt think he would get out alive. So im assuming that means he doesnt have time to play. The thing is that he lives about 6 hours away from me. I dont think i have much faith in Ldrs anymore since u know what.. but it would be reckless to think that i can start one with this guy. He's not looking for a committed relationship, im pretty sure.... I kinda feel like he is out of my league to be honest but he came on to me so there's much nonsense in thinking that way. I'm not the casual encounter type of girl but i guess i was thinking along the lines of coffees, lunches/dinner and eventually drinks. We can enjoy each other's company for 4 days....what if he is seeing someone and she comes with him! TARA! X.X In this case, if you're not into having a fling, a FWB or a simple "let's get this out of our system", I'd just go along with no expectations and simply have a nice time. Everything seems stacked against anything serious developing, so really, I don't think you should let yourself get over excited... And if he IS seeing someone else, (Which I doubt, given his previous statements), then I'd question two things: How serious he is about making it work How he feels about you.....
Author meeji Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 Yeah. I will come back to this thread once my weekend gets started. I think this kind of interaction is good for me at this stage. I wouldnt want to jump into another relationship so soon anyway but it productive to get my mind thinking along the lines of being single, having opportunities and endless possibilities. I was into thiis guy after I got to know him better but once I realized how he feels about relationships, i kinda backed off a lot. Obviously, im still interested in him or I wouldnt have posted this. We will see what happens.
Author meeji Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 So.. he called me at 11 when he checked in to the hotel. He got food and then we met up in the lobby and then we headed out to a bar for drinks. I had an early morning shift and he has an afternoon panel so we stayed out for about an hour. It was nice. I think he's going to accompany me at the formal ball tonight. Luckily, i bought a cute dress. So. Far so good.
outsidethebox Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 sounds like you're doing just fine... congrats
Author meeji Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 I thought i posted last night but i guess it didnt post. Yesterday i went to this lecture and afterwards he said he wanted to meet up and that he wanted my assistance with a panel today. Last yearI gave him some new information about the topic and he wants to update his lecture with my suggestions. Honetsly, i'm flattered that he thinks hightly enough of my methods to ask me for input. Moving along...he texted me, i invited him to my room. We chatted a bit and then headed downstairs to the hotel bar and later, he suggested that we get in the hot tub. We did. We talked with some colleagues and at aroung 2am we called it a night, as we both had early morning tasks to do for the conference. Last night, we planned to meet up and work on the lecture grab dinner and then hit the hot tub again. If i didnt know what I know now, i would think this guy was totally diggin me. ........wait for it! BaM! At one point, his phone rang and he said "excuse me, thats my gf calling." Tara, you jinxed me. Haha! Its okay. I knew in some fashion that this guy was unavailable to the girlfriend thing doesnt really affect me tooo much. It was disappointing slightly but at least i'm totally clear where we stand now.
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Oh. Damn. Sucks. Sorry 'bout the jinx..... I'll be honest with you though.... If I was some guy's GF, and i discovered he was in a hot tub with another woman, of his choosing, out of his choice.... I'd be just a little bit peeved..... and wondering wtf he was playing at. Just my two cents, here..... How would it make YOU feel.......? 2
silvermercy Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 (edited) I don't understand this... or actually I think I do... He's basically testing the waters to see if you're okay with being his side-dish. I'm sorry but he looks like a potential cheater to me (if he's not already). Hence, he let you know about the girlfriend. How honest of him! (I mean... what a great behaviour he has, scheduling meetings with other women while he has a gf...) SO... now that I a single, this is the perfect opportunity to catch up. I have been reading lots of books about relationship since mine ended. I'm not sure I understand this either. You haven't been clear if you flirted and then continued to be in contact with him for months while you were yourself in a relationship. I truly hope I'm mistaken on this assumption. If I'm not, sorry... not good... Edited February 16, 2013 by silvermercy
mammasita Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 If I was some guy's GF, and i discovered he was in a hot tub with another woman, of his choosing, out of his choice.... I'd be just a little bit peeved..... and wondering wtf he was playing at I'd be more than a little peeved. Just sayin.
Author meeji Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 I'd be more than a little peeved. Just sayin. I know what u mean. The first time he asked me to go to the hot tub i said no just because i didnt want things to get too intimate. However, after we went to the bar and I had a few drinks it wasnt hard to persuade me into adventure. I am totally getting mixed signals. We have been together a lot this weekend. To my urprise, I got an honorable mention in his workshop and became a guest speaker. outside of work related things we have been having meals together, working out at the girl gym, 3 hot tub adventures, and last night we attended a party with our colleagues that went well into the morning. Nothing has happened and he hasn't crossed any lines so his girlfriend would be proud. I'm pretty shy so I haven't been encouraging him and I wouldn't want to, knowing that he is seeing someone. I met his mom. She is also working here. She introduced herself and then asked if she was hling us up. He said we have a list of things planned but next we are going to the hot tub. Knowing that he has a gf, i looked for any kind of discomfort about that but she seemed not to think it was so strange. So... i dont know Anyway... tonight is the last night. We have a big dinner and one more major party. I am enjoying myself. 1
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