Gutty Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 So, I had known this girl "M" for 4 years. She was my nieces tball coach for 3 years. I would see her in the spring for a couple of months and thats it. The first 2 years I can't remember saying 2 words to her. The 3rd year we talke a lil more since I took my niece to every practice. She would ask me to help out and I would. The 4th year my niece, her son & another kid from baseball signed up for a kids mma class. It was cool seeing the kids again as well as talking to "M". We were cool & friendly and just small talked. Then my niece started softball. The softball practices were right after mma, so she was a lil tired. Mma was only for 1 month so I didn't see it as a problem. Well, my sis did. The 2nd to the last class she told me not to take my niece to mma anymore. My niece heard this and became upset and started to cry. She liked mma and wanted to finish the month since there were only 2 classes left. Then my sis began to cry. I started to stick up for my niece and my sis and I began arguing. My sis gave in and allowed my niece to attend mma. Then the last day of mma my sis told me to not take her daughter. Only to softball. I didn't want to argue anymore so I simply said, ok. I wanted to let the coach know but didn't have his number. So I txt "M" and told her my niece wouldn't be showing up today and if she could let coach know. Naturally she asked, why. I told her its a long story, drama with my sis. She replied back, sorry to hear that. That was it. 2 weeks later I get a text from "M". All it said was, hey, how's it going? I was surprised! It made me feel good. It sounded like she wanted to talk and keep in touch. I never thought I would of heard from her. I was never gonna text her. We were cool and all but I never saw us as friends or maintaining any kind of communication. I saw us as acquaintants. So I txt her like 2 pages and she replied back with 2 pages. It was cool reading her reply until I got to the last sentence. She asked, now can you tell me why your niece couldn't finish mma? I was shocked! There I was thinking she wanted to talk to me for me. She knew it was drama with my sis and still asked! I've never had somebody ask me anything like that in that way. I didn't know what to say. I'm the type of guy that is shy and quiet and I rarely need to talk about anything. Let alone family stuff. She's known me and my niece for 4 years so I started to think that maybe she cares. Maybe she gives a damn. It didn't quite sound like it in her txt but maybe it came out wrong. I've always liked and respected her. She's really cool and down to earth. So I agreed. Since i was going to be talkng about my sis i wanted to be accurate and suggested we meet for coffee or a drink. 2 weeks later she asked if I wanted to meet for dinner. I agreed. I was a lil weirded out at dinner but it was cool and nice. I told her everything that happened. There is a whole other part to this story. For now I would just like to get other peoples opinions/reactions on what they would've done in this situation. Thanks in advance...
baRx Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 honestly dude, i think you over reacted. she asked you how you were, and during the conversation got a little curious as to why your niece couldn't finish mma. i dont think she was talking to you to get information, i think she was genuine in her conversation. sounds like she was talking to you, for you, afterall. you just took it the wrong way. so what's happened since dinner? did anything progress?
Author Gutty Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 Thanks for replying baRx. What happened after dinner is a long story. I'll try and keep short. After we met I would text her like once a month. Just to try and keep in touch at the least. In our texts she would almost always invite me to something. To watch her son play a sport or a bbq. It made me feel wecomed. So I thought things were cool. But, when it came time to let me know when or where to be, I never heard from her. Why? Cuz she forgot. First cpl of times, it didn't bother me. We've all been forgotten before. Right? What I didn't like was that it was constant. We easily went 4-6 weeks without talking. I would txt her, she'd invite me then forget me. It was like that for 9 months. There were a cpl of times when I wanted to just delete her number and be done. Just stop trying to be friends. Then I would txt her just to see what's up. She'd invite me or she'll say we'll grab some drinks or agree to meet me. But it never happened. I even watched her son 4 days and he spent the night with me. I watched him cuz the kids were on spring brk and I watch my nieces as well. After this I thought things were gonna start looking up. Not! About 3 weeks after, she invited me to a cpl of functions one weekend, but of course I never heard from her. So yeah, she forgot me twice in same weekend. But,I hear from her when she wants to know some family drama or a sitter for her son. I talked and did more with her son then her. To be honest, hanging with her son and my nieces was the highlight of the friendship. We went to the movies, fishing, the park,ate out it was fun! The only thing I wanted out of this was the hope of being a lil bit better friends. Bcuz she constantly forgot me I never knew how she saw me. If she saw me as a friend or just some guy she felt she had to be nice to. I started to doubt her. Maybe she felt obligated to be a friend? So I started talking to her more and asking her to hang out more. I figured the more I talked to her the more likely she'll remember me. I always wanted her to do the things she said she would do or meet me like I met her. Talking to her more was a bad move cuz she thought I was trying to get with her. I wasn't. I just wanted somehow to affirm a friendship. I guess I didn't want to accept that The only reason i heard from her was so she can find out some family drama. Thats prob kinda selfish of me. So yes, she did ask how I was but I feel that was the set up question to what she really wanted to ask. After 9 months of "friendship" we had a falling out. I've asked why she wanted to know about my niece. She said bcuz I sounded frustred in txt so she wanted to be there for me. I don't quite believe her. I think she was there out of pure curiosity. I asked her, so you cared? She doesn't say. She says and explains very lil. What makes somebody want to be there for someone? There's a lot more but that's the gist. Any insight or questions, I would appreciate. Thanks
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