LILLY_LOUISE Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Some may have read my thread in the infidelity sight. simply when i was engaged i had an affair with another man. I told my now husband the child was his (wasnt sure myself). after my daughter was born we got a dna test done and it read that my husband was not her father. knowing this a persued my daughters real father for child support. the OM has had nothing to do with my child and doesnt want to ever see her. My husband is having trouble coming to terms with it, we havnt slept in the same bad for 6months now, we dont live together anymore, however he keeps telling me he misses me and loves us. as soon as i tell him i love him and want to start things back up (reconciliation) he shy's away and tells me to move on. my questions is, how long is too long for a seperation and can you put a time limit on how long this will take to heal? I havnt forced him into anything, so far he has been coming to me, but then leaves us alone after i mention reconciliation!
SharkTooth Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Sorry to have to tell you this but IMO, move on. You have committed some of the absolute worst things you could do to a person you love. Seek help if you need some and forget about this man. He won't ever feel the same about you with the exception of short term memory loss. After he comes back to reality, he will be twice as angry. One, for what you had done, and two, anger with himself for the relapse...
TaraMaiden Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 OP will you PLEASE stop posting so many damn random threads?!!? That's 4 just today! man, I'm getting dizzy trying to keep up with you!
TaraMaiden Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 He may love you, but he doesn't want to live with you. You need to give him the space he deserves, and suck it up. Own your own madness in this, but do not expect anyone else to tolerate it if they simply cannot bring themselves to do so. What you want - and what he wants - are 2 completely different things. He wants the "you" he once knew. You can't give him that, so leave him alone, move on and deal with it. Be fair to the guy. You're acting like a cake-eater, and that simply isn't the right thing to do. Get support, financially from the OM. He needs to pay for his part in this, even if he wants nothing more to do with you. This is HIS child, not your husband's. Make him acknowledge that, and do not let him abandon, shun and ignore his own daughter. 1
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