Author cdt76 Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 Chi Town, I have not and will not contact her. I sent her the one text about shutting off service and wishing I could afford to F her for another 8 months. That was it. Yes, it was angry and I have all the right in the world to be mad. But like Cavalier says, I have to let go of the anger. I'm doing ok today. I'm by no means going back into that black hole I was in. I've never in my life been so close to either hurting someone else or ending myself and that isn't going to happen again, for any stupid woman. She will be unhappy and depressed and unsatisfied in life because she is empty inside. I have life. I have a great career. And eventually I will find someone who loves me. So she is gone and hopefully never to be heard from again. Maybe eventually Cav, I'll be able to forgive her! Hopefully I can. I'm working on that now. 1
geegirl Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Not cool. Wishing cancer on someone. Had to go through seeing a girlfriend bleed to death from colon cancer and two years ago lost another to brain cancer. Think about what you say before you say it. Some things you can't take back and if ever, god forbid something befalls her, what she did will be miniscule compared to the regret you will feel for saying those words. Think before opening your mouth. SMH. 1
candie13 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Yeah, seeing those pics there, of her, taken by you, for other people must have been a real shock because it showed you that she in moving on, instead of her thinking about the two of you (or respecting that). It hurts a lot to see how much you were wrong about a person. But for her to stay for 4 months with you and for you not to have seen it, it means she was hiding it very well. Not what you want to hear, but you just dodged the bullet, mate! Lucky, very lucky you! You have all the right to be angry and I am not going to tell you how you should not be angry, 'cause that's useless. Use that anger in a positive way. Hit the gym. Start new projects. Clean the attic. Do whatever you can to channel it in a positive way. Learn to forgive yourself too. Maybe not right now, but later. If you saw something good and nice in her, it doesn't mean that those things are not in there. You were not wrong. It means that she choses not to live by them. Her choice, not yours. Out of your control. Stay strong and reinforce NC! cheers
daylight Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Man, I know exactly what you are feeling right now. I went through it nearly half a year ago myself. I was in a long 2 and a half year on and off relationship with a woman that was financially motivated on her part from what I can tell. She was a pro, she was really good at making me feel like she actually cared about me. But nobody is that good for that long and I eventually began figuring things out. I've never been angrier at a person than I was with her and I completely lost it. Obsessing over her and wanting her to feel the same pain as she made me feel. I can't say that I've let any of my anger go or that I don't still care about her even though she was an using evil woman. Although, I don't know the specifics of your situation or what she was like. Maybe there was some care and love that she felt for you. Who knows? All I know is that I know women like this and I can certainly sympathize with your anger right now. Trust me, that anger you're feeling will melt away and you'll miss her again. This works to her advantage, if she contacts you again at some point and you're in that weak spot. Fight the urge to let her sucker you in again.
eduardo23 Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Wow dude that sucks... definitely cancel her plan. You shouldn't be paying for an ex's cell. 1
Sanctionne Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Lol. She sounds pathetic and is clearly a gold digger and in some sense a prostitute. Just be thankful that you got rid of her before the two of you got married and she took you for everything you're worth. Let some loser that is more pathetic than her get used. If you're going to contact her about it I would just do it to laugh at her. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing that this is hurting you. 1
Author cdt76 Posted February 16, 2013 Author Posted February 16, 2013 Daylight, we need to talk. I can't figure out how to message you but i need to talk. I'm not going to contact her. There was nothing on valentines so I'm assuming I didn't merit a thought. It's been one of the most trying days that I can't ever remember today. I became emotional when I was sent a picture of my kids by the pilot of the plane they were on. After working out I lost it again just listening to a song on the radio. I started drinking in order to cut off the crying. I'm no lower or someone who hasn't seen heartache before. My issue today is that I miss my kids so much and couple that with being lonely after believing I was in love. I'm just so done with dating and trying to find someone who cares about me. Apparently it's beyond the scope of the plan for me. Just so down tonight.
cavalier99 Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Well if its any consolation i cried today ..hard.. for the 1st time in a while after accidentaly stumbling across some pics of us. And im 4.5 months BU and NC. At least your BU is fresh so it makes more sense. Lol Cav
Sugarkane Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 I'm sorry but I think if you contact her, I don't think she will care. Only if she can get a huge ego boost from it. Why did she throw away your relationship for sugar daddies? It seems "sugar daddies" think they have a right to treat women bad, if a woman takes money from them. They think they "own someone" if they pay. I don't expect much good would come from that.
daylight Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 Heyy, I'm around every so often, I'll message ya. All I can say is that I've been around a few of these types of using women and they are all more or less the same. Once you leave them, they'll find someone else, burn that bridge, and move on to the next one until they have no one else left to drain money from or the best case scenario they find one thats rich and pathetically nice enough to put up with them no matter what. Usually, these types are very unstable and surrounded by drama. When you start to date them, you'll notice a variety of these sorts of red flags but you don't really care because she's beautiful and into you. I know exactly how you are feeling, I've been there and it was recent. The best way to deal with these types of women is DO NOT BE NICE. At all. Period. If you have any financial dealings with them still, cancel them immediately. Don't say anything or lash out about it either. They know what that really is when you blow up on them. Do not get drunk and contact her in anyway. This never works out in your favor. Only fight with them if they initiate the fight. Ignore them, act like they don't exist. Don't check on her via facebook or any other social media. It'll only hurt. I know that's extremely hard to avoid when you're feeling the way you are but it's the only thing these woman respond to. I can guarantee you if you ignore her and act like she doesn't exist, she will be contacting you once she feels like it's safe. And she'll probably contact you and it'll seem like she's sincerely interested in what's been up and how you're doing etc but this will only last for a little bit, then she'll be hitting you up for favors/money with some sob story along with it. Once she contacts you, it's upto you what you want to do but I would advise ya to move away from this woman immediately because it's only going to get worse from here.
daylight Posted February 16, 2013 Posted February 16, 2013 I guess there's no messaging on this forum as I can't find how to do that.... If it makes you feel any better, and this always made me feel better and maybe it's wrong to but I don't care at all is knowing that this woman whoever it was will have a terrible life. If she's putting herself on a Sugar Daddy website it already shows to me that she's a damaged case and in most of those cases, she's going to be unhappy for the rest of her life being passed around and used up until she's past her prime. She's a loser pure and simple.
Sugarkane Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 I'm sorry but there's a lot of users out there. Your ex is one of them.
Author cdt76 Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 She changed. The user was not the woman I met and fell for. I know this sounds cliche but its true. The person who left me was not the person I met. Funny thing is that since I sent her that text laughing at her she took down that profile. Maybe she just hid it but its not showing up there tonight. I truly thought she cared for me. But something was pulling her away. Maybe it was the money but I felt she cared up to the end when I felt like I was nothing but an insurance payment! So I don't know. If she contacts me in the future I'm not sure what ill do. Probably vomit!
Author cdt76 Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 Well if its any consolation i cried today ..hard.. for the 1st time in a while after accidentaly stumbling across some pics of us. And im 4.5 months BU and NC. At least your BU is fresh so it makes more sense. Lol Cav Cal, I know what you are going through. I still have a jacket, 2 pairs of her panties and some pottery she painted at my place. I've thought about sending them to her parents in a box but I just don't know if she'd do the same for me. I guess I should send them just to be the better man. I'm sorry for your pain brother. I know how much it hurts. I went to confession this weekend. It was like pealing the scab off a wound!!!
cavalier99 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Cal, I know what you are going through. I still have a jacket, 2 pairs of her panties and some pottery she painted at my place. I've thought about sending them to her parents in a box but I just don't know if she'd do the same for me. I guess I should send them just to be the better man. I'm sorry for your pain brother. I know how much it hurts. I went to confession this weekend. It was like pealing the scab off a wound!!! Thanks bro. Just a momentary setback. Let it all out then BYE BYE. Im doing OK now. Just surprised that i could still cry like that. I guess it is all part of the process. If i saw the same pics today id be fine. Just caught me by surprise. The ironic part is ever time i do this i feel like I'm actually getting better. I'm not sure how many tears i have left for her. So all in all it is a positive. Rock on! Cav
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