Fizzay Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Please try not to judge me. (apologies for bad grammar) This is going to be very long, so brace yourself. i willl try my best to summerise.. Im in university and i was going out with a girl who goes to the same university as me. ive just turned 23 and she turned 21 in May. we went out for approximately two years which was a good relationship, but it had some lies on my part. we broke up because she found out that i had cheated on her with my bestfriend (whos a girl) This was not true....however i did cheat on her with other girls, which i think she may know by now...im not sure. Me and my bestfriend were pretty close and my ex always thought that she came second to her...at first i didnt understand what she was talking about, but i think i kinda do now. we broke up January 2012 on my birthday while i was on holiday with 4 "friends" that i had lived with during university term time. As i arrived back to London i tried to contact my ex who was giving me the cold shoulder. Skipping through parts she had dumped me because she had heard a rumour that me and my best friend were going out. this is when the torture began... So as you can imagine i did all of the things I wasn't suppose to do..i pleaded, text raped her, cried, turned up outside her house and stayed out there for hours, sent her flowers, Declared how sorry i was and how much i loved her on facebook...i even proposed. It wasn't the right time, but i did want to marry her at some point in the future. I didn't realise what i had until it was gone. There were time where i left her alone...and then there were times where i would try and talk to her casually...she would shut me down. I tried talking with her friends but her friends were also against me. One of them didn't really like me for a while even when I was in a relationship. Cutting a long story short, it turns out that she had developed some feelings in my friend and visa versa. I of course blew up. I ended up writing some of my anger on my twitter...Apperently my friend felt really bad about what happened and my ex was not very remorseful i eventually calmed down and tried STILL to be friends with my ex. She still just wanted to never talk to me. Her girl friends said things to me like 'on the surface it looks bad but..its not what you think it is' ....sounded like a lot of bull**** to me (excuse my french) so i wrote a message to her close friend on Facebook telling her how sorry i was for everything and that i didnt mean to offend anyone and ive learnt from my mistakes..blah blah you get the picture. By this time ive lost my ego and self worth. I was COMPLETELY lost. Then i just disappeared. Off Facebook, off my blackberry, i lessened my tweeting. i never text or contacted my ex or any of my 'friends' and i cut off all of the girls i flirted with. I tried to improve every part of myself in this time. I just tried to live without this girl in my life..it was very hard and it still is. But I put myself in this right? So I deserve to feel like crap, because i wasn't the best of boyfriends. i know i could have done better... i was and still am very dissapointed in myself... so it was 6 months since we spoke or saw each other...until christmas i recieved 'Merry Xmas. x' text . i didnt know how to take it... suddenly i flipped out. but i was in a better place than months ago. I replied 'Merry Christmas'. It could have been a group message etc.. i carried on no contacting her.. until my birthday... she text 'Happy Birthday' I REALLY didn't want her to text me on my birthday...as it was the day we broke up, i took it as a slap in the face. Why would she still text me after everything that has happened!? she hasn't even asked me how i am in the last 6 months. Im not planning on texting her on her birthday. Not even just to be nice i will be honest and say ive been working on a plan to get her back..but i dont know anymore. there is no such thing as a full proof plan that will work. but some advice would be quite good. I miss her loads... it hurts...i dont know what to do anymore because i ALWAYS think about her...i dont want to... So...im currently seeing some one just to see if it will help me get over my ex. Its not helping. The girl im seeing would do almost anything for me..she wants to take things to the next level. but i cant because theres something in me that wont let it happen. i dont know what it is. but i know its to do with my ex. the new girl is aware of everything ive said so far... i need help. MASSIVE help. This is just a shortened version. Feel free to ask any questions...
denxnis Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 (edited) I was like you. Took my ex for granted, flirted with other girls and did what most guys do in their early 20s; problem is my girlfriend was at the bottom of my priority list because I thought she would always be around. Who would leave a succesfull good looking guy, am I right? Wrong. What have I learned? Never take your family (gf/bf) or friends for granted. The worst thing you can do is cheat (emotional or physical). Don't say things you don't mean. All of this pain/suffering is a wake up call - it's someone telling you that it's time to become a better person. Do yourself and the girl you are dating a favor, break it off. You are not fully committed to the relationship you are in and are robbing her of the happiness she could be having with someone. Only THEN should you think about how to deal with your infatuation with your ex. FYI - By using the girl you're currently with it's pretty obvious you still have a lot to learn; what you are doing is selfish. Edited February 13, 2013 by denxnis
Love Bytes Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Ok, sorry if I sound insensitive, and I'm sure you're hurting...BUT... I find it hard to feel bad for someone that admits cheating on her with "other girls (plural)." It seems like she's texting you because she's probably just a decent person. After you cheating on her in the relationship, she shouldn't be remorseful for going out with your friend after you broke up. Sorry, and like I said, I know it still hurts, but you made your own bed. Just try to learn from it and if you really care for someone, treat them waaayyy better than this. 1
Author Fizzay Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 so your saying she has every right to like my friend? you dont believe in bro code?
TaraMaiden Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Don't you believe in the fidelity code? This 'bro' code is a bunch of crock. Gimme a break.... She had every right to date whomever she wanted - and so had he. You were broken up and single... You on the other hand, should have kept it in your pants WHILE you were with her. Dumbass..... 1
Author Fizzay Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 What am i suppose to do. Im trying to become a better person. Ive tried everything to get this girl out of my head. I miss talking to mutual friends, i miss her...I kinda miss facebook (i know it sounds sad) i know its all self inflicted, but its just how i feel. Even though i put up a front like everything is ok...Its not. I think its best i do end things with this new girl...but...then what? I just want a pain free heart.
LostOne1 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 What am i suppose to do. Im trying to become a better person. Ive tried everything to get this girl out of my head. I miss talking to mutual friends, i miss her...I kinda miss facebook (i know it sounds sad) i know its all self inflicted, but its just how i feel. Even though i put up a front like everything is ok...Its not. I think its best i do end things with this new girl...but...then what? I just want a pain free heart. See this is GOOD that it happened to you. Because the truth is YOU will NEVER get her back. And you will suffer for awhile and then learn from this mistake. And then the next girl you date. I know you won't do it ever again. It's sad but man it's the truth. You have to learn the hard way and you have lost her forever. All you can do now is feel that pain and know you did it to your own self. And now you need to digest it and understand what you did, so you never do it again to another girl and your own self.
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