almalex5 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 So my ex and I broke up a little over a week ago, after dating for 2 years. She told me that she "loved me, but was no longer in love with me" and that she decided that our relationship should end. I felt like my life had ended when she said those words, we always seemed really close and it did not make sense. After the break up we decided to meet up after a week of not contacting each other to try to restart the relationship. She said she didn't want it to end, but she didn't have the same feelings anymore. Unfortunately, I contacted her a couple of times during that week, but we met up and got dinner together. At first it went well, like nothing had happened, but later on in the evening she seemed different. She told me that she wished I had given her more space that week, and that we should just stay as friends. I told her that I couldn't just be friends with her, and she started crying. She told me that she wasn't ready to start the relationship up again, but she didn't want to let me go and she wanted to wait and give it some time. She told me that she didn't know if it would be one week, two weeks or a month, but that she needed space. I asked her what went wrong, and she told me that I got too comfortable and that she felt the spark leave our relationship two weeks ago. She thanked me for teaching her how to love and that this was the hardest thing she had ever done. We said our goodbyes and I drove off. I decided that I'm not going to contact her for at least three weeks, and that if I last longer I'll go on for longer. She meant the world to me, and to see her go like that breaks my heart. I don't know if I should let go of all hope and move on completely, or if I should try and contact her in three weeks to meet up again. Part of me doesn't want to see her out of my life, even if it means just as friends, while the other part of me sees myself as overoptimistic.
destroyed4sho Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 She at least owes you a reason why she no longer feels the same. ( I know its feelings and feeling aren't suppose to be logical.......blah blah) But I am more of a logical person, and I feel there has to be a reason.... She said that you felt too comfortable? Did she specify how? IF she didn't, I feel that its a cop out, sorry. Why doesn't she want to talk about it and resolve the situation? Is she seeing someone else? You may never get answers, so its best to NC her.
Chi townD Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 You got the "ILYBINILWY" speech. 9 times out of ten, that usually means that someone else is in the picture. Sorry,dude.
stevie_23 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 No, it doesn’t necessarily mean that. Feelings DO change. Although, having said that, if there IS someone else coming into the picture, I’d say that is only a possibility because her feelings already changed before she initiated the breakup. You cannot be attracted to or interested in someone else if you are still IN love with another person. Once your feelings change from IN love to care / normal love, you are then open (after a while) to developing feelings for others. But again, I doubt this is it. I think her feelings just changed. And any kind of “explanation” you try to get out of her is not going to help you or make you feel better, because there will BE no explanation adequate enough for you. Feelings are feelings. I think in her ideal world, she wants to just be friends. She loves you for who you are and as a person to her, but she is not IN love with you anymore, and so…you know…your friends are people you love but aren’t in love with. Your partner is the one you are IN love with.
bada bing Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Yeah I got that speech about 15 years ago and I wasn't sure what it mean't either. She met someone else and didn't have the courage to come clean and tell me. Usually, it's a way to keep you on the back burner without telling you the truth. Good Luck, but go NC for sure.
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