ex gf not sure what she wants

[mlcj69]

we were together for probably.....2 years? Im really not sure when we were "bf and gf". she decided to split 4 days ago.

 

We love and care for each other dearly.

 

She and I never experienced being in a real relationship. For months now she has been getting over her depression and confidence issue. THATS why she went online and i guess "looking" for someone. I was online just to pass time to talk to other people. I even told her I am NOT looking for a LDR. But as time passed, it eventually led to us wanting to be together all the time. The "honeymoon" stage. I understood eventually it would die out, but i wouldnt end it with her because we do enjoy each others time and company and affection. Well I felt that way, I am not to sure about her. Im sure she does, but it's not as great as it used to be when we were at that stage. And i completely agree.

 

Another thing is she feels "tied down". I have no clue what she means by that. I try and i try getting her to explain but doesnt. I even tell her youre supposed to have a life besides me. But since shes recently gotten over her deression and confience and not antisocial anymore, she feels the need to out with her friends and have a life. I understand that. But since the begining of our relationship we really spent time "alone", wether in person or her not going out with friends, its just what she is used to.

 

Lately i've been pressuring her and stressing her out because i wanted answers she really couldnt give me and it was stressing me out. Like does she really like this guy and wants to see what hes like but if it doesnt work out or its not what she want (to date other people), come back to me and i will take you back. I cant do that. I know for sure it wont work out knowing i was a back up to a back up.

 

She says she has been feeling this for months. BEFORE this guy was in the picture......so she says...... This guy really like her. She says shes not interested, but she might consider dating him if she decided to not come back. She felt like breaking up with me because we really arent in a "relationship". I agree. what do we have? texting and skype. thats really it. But when we are together is when we really are in a relationship.

 

This past summer was the best time we had together because thats when we really got close. I visted her in december right after christmas through new years, and i guess she was thinking it prior(i was not aware of it), so we werent really as close as we were that past summer.

 

I understand she wants to experience a real relationship and see whats out there because maybe im not really the one. Maybe theirs someone out there that makes her feel different. But she also understand we are out of that honeymoon stage, but she wants to feel it all the time.

 

My problem is she wants to stay friends. But she is not to certain what she wants. Wether to be in a serious relationship with me, or see what its really like to be in a relationship. We would most likely be fine if we lived closer. But I just wont be able to get over the fact SHE LEFT ME to see whats its really like. Say i do take her back, that thought will always linger and it just wont work out and eventually split again.

 

I went through the same problem she is going through now last year. But in my case i really liked this girl and sat RIGHT next to me (assigned seating). She invited me places and stuff and i really wanted to go, but then i thought.......i know this will develope to more than just a hanging out thing. so i backed off. ignoring her texts, hanging out with other people in class, etc. I am not sure how often my ex talks to this guy, but THE DAY she broke up with me, this guy that really liked her came over. They just met 1 weeks ago. She mentioned this 2 weeks ago. And have thought about it for months. I know it was just a friendly hang out, but it was not right. Like in my case. She knows what we are going through and knows what this guy wants, she why let him over in the first place. She went too far.

 

I wanted no contact. at least for now. no dating or looking for someone or anything. just for her to think things through and give each other space. i mean we have spoken everyday for the past 2.5 years. We are trying to not talk for a week to see what she really wants. In my opinion things wont go back to normal. At least for now. In my case last year, our relationship did get stronger, but now its starting to dwindle off, and has her sights on someone else, wether she believes so or not. Not even just this one person, but the opportunity to date other guys.

 

Edit: we were talking on the phone last night and she said she was actually thinking about getting back together with me, but since the way i was acting she decided not to.

 

I guess what im asking would it be a mistake if i take her back? I know she wants to experience what it's really like out there, but not sure if its worth losing what we have to do that.