bobsmith76 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 It seems that in all my life of dating, 50% of the time the woman will back out of a first date. Is it just me or does this happen to other guys. It's not like they're getting new information about me and then they change their mind either.
Imajerk17 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 (edited) It seems that in all my life of dating, 50% of the time the woman will back out of a first date. Is it just me or does this happen to other guys. It's not like they're getting new information about me and then they change their mind either. More information would be helpful. --How are you meeting these women? --If you are meeting them from online, how do you take it from online to a date? As much detail as you can give would be insightful as to what is happening. I would say that once the date is set up, it happens for me 80% of the time with OLD. Cold-approach is lower but I think it is at least 60% (if she answers the phone and we set up a date that is). If women are flaking out on you 50% of the time, there is something wrong there. Edited February 12, 2013 by Imajerk17
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 It seems that in all my life of dating, 50% of the time the woman will back out of a first date. Is it just me or does this happen to other guys. It's not like they're getting new information about me and then they change their mind either. I have never had a girl back out of a first date that didn't get rescheduled. If I get rejected it usually before we get to the point of me asking for a date, or several dates in.
Casablanca Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Depends on how you are meeting them....I'd say online or cold approach is more likely to end to a back out...meeting someone in person and actually getting a conversation won't lead to back outs nearly as much. Also with cold approaches and online, I suggest coffee or a drink; its low pressure, laid back and just a chance to get to talk and interact. Those I'd say will be more successful than a more "normal" date
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 It seems that in all my life of dating, 50% of the time the woman will back out of a first date. Is it just me or does this happen to other guys. It's not like they're getting new information about me and then they change their mind either. Everything happens at a 50% rate. Will it snow tomorrow? Maybe it will, maybe it won't...50-50 shot. The Yankees have a 50% chance of winning the World Series this year, etc.
somedude81 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 LOL, I've never had a woman back out of a date. It's either a yes and we have the date, or a no. I've never had a girl break plans.
Author bobsmith76 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 I would say that once the date is set up, it happens for me 80% of the time with OLD. What happens? They back out or they show up. Ok, I decided to make a list and find out if it really was 50% and to my surprise it was exactly 50%. In my last 8 dates, 4 of them canceled and I never met them. And in the other 15 years that I've been dating it's also probably been about 50%. Here are the four that canceled: 1. Beth - I had been corresponding with her for 7 weeks on OKC and we finally got a date set up. During those 7 weeks we almost never talked about ourselves, she would just say I'm going away for a while I'll talk to you when I get back. I had the feeling that she wasn't capable of communication. She was a graduate student too. She was also a Peace Corps laureate so I thought she was trustworthy. In any case, about 5 days before our date she said she didn't have enough time for a relationship because she was working on her thesis. To be fair, she did delete her OKC profile and said she might be interested in getting to know each other after her thesis is done in about 3 months. 2. The English Major - We had a good IM a week before the scheduled date. I met her on OKC. This girl canceled on the day of the date. She said she was interested in postponing the date. However, she later came up with a bogus excuse to cut off communication completely. 3. The liar - I met this girl at a lock and key event. It turns out that she was never interested in a date she just enjoyed setting up dates then disappointing the guys. This girl actually did this to me twice because the first time I thought it was just an honest mishap. I met her three months later, had one date with her, and the second time she said I'll call you Friday night and let you know where to meet me. I texted her about 3 times Friday night asking her when she was going to give me the address and she kept saying give me some more time but ultimately she never gave out the address. Clearly, very few women behave like her. 4. The slightly neurotic girl - This girl was 35 and never had a relationship so I was suspicious that she was not emotionally stable. I met her through OKC. We had a telephone conversation and I discovered that she was not really capable of communicating. She was one of those types that don't know how to ask a question or don't know what to say. I was extremely skeptical that a relationship would work but I was willing to try, hoping she would open up when she got to know me. Anyway, we set up a date and I recommended a certain place to which she objected because she was afraid of the stress of trying to find a parking place in that part of the city at that time of day. When I read that I thought: "if you can't deal with the stress of trying to find a parking place, how are you going to deal with the stress of raising a family?" I refused her recommendation to change the location of the date. With that she decided to call off the date because she felt that I wasn't respecting her feelings. Undoubtedly, a relationship would not have worked out.
grkBoy Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 I never had them back out. I mostly had them give me flimsy answers and they would not commit to hard plans...then they "vanish" when I try to make the hard plans.
rocketman122 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 1 time it almost happened. I came to the place, called her and she said she doesnt want to come because she saw I was online. I explained that the pc is on all the time and it was in one of my tabs in the browser but I wasnt online. I came home from work, got ready and went to the date. I convinced her and she came and she had the biggest smile and was very happy she did. it didnt work out but other than that, no, never. from your description of the women, they just dont seem so enthusiastic to meet. those I spoke to couldnt wait. and it never took 7 weeks to get someone to agree for a meetup. women pick up small little things that tell them to stay away. you must be doing something wrong. it seems youre letting the situation cool off too much. for me it was usually between a day (yes, the next day)and 2 weeks at most. and many times the women called and asked if we can meet earlier.
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